The Untold Future
by manusxmachina
Summary: Ichigo, Rukia, and their comrades have attained the "perfect ending" that Ywach threatened to thwart. However, they failed to realize that there was one more threat to their supposedly spotless happiness: themselves. There was no stopping fate from bringing them together once more. Even if Heaven itself stood in the way. IchiRuki
1. Perfect Is Not Real

Rukia Kuchiki was beyond excited.

She hadn't visited the human world since before the war with the Quincies, which ended seven years ago. There was just so much to do after that; she managed her squad as the assistant captain with the support of Kiyone and Sentaro, which meant that a million responsibilities that she was unprepared for fell on shoulders. She powered through it, not willing to allow her company to crumble. Since then, she hadn't been able to catch even a wink's amount of sleep.

Recently, however, life seemed to allow her more room to breathe. She had gotten used to the copious amounts of paperwork, but she realized she needed a break. She missed the human world, or rather the people she had become so attached to that resided there. The shinigami smiled. They didn't know she would be coming today. It would be nice to see everyone. Hopefully they would be pleasantly surprised.

As she exited the senkaimon, the nostalgic sunshine of the human world warmed her skin. Breathing in the freshly sweet scent of the floral air, she shut her eyes in a feeling akin to homesickness. She had so many wonderful memories of Karakura Town. She was grateful for all the refreshingly normal experience of life as a high school student. It was surreal to have those memories go hand in hand with her true form as a shinigami. Not every soul could have the privilege of fully understanding life and death in one lifetime.

The walk to the Kurosaki clinic was pleasant. Just a few steps in and she realized that she was walking the same route that she and Ichigo used to take from school. She smiled to herself, in joyful anticipation of reuniting with him. He was always so relieved to see her whenever they saw each other after a long period of separation. She was confident that this time would be no different.

She rang the doorbell to the Kurosaki household, and Yuzu spotted her from behind the sliding glass doors. Rukia waved, and the now fully-grown woman returned the gesture eagerly.

'Rukia!' Yuzu hugged the shinigami tightly. 'I haven't seen you in so long!'

'Yeah! You've gotten so big.' she responded, and the younger girl released her from her hold. 'How have you been?'

'Good! I'm at university now, and so is Karin!'

'That's wonderful.' Rukia responded with measured interest. It wasn't that she didn't care to know how she was doing. She was actually thrilled to see the girl she used to steal clothes from, but she was growing increasingly impatient. She wanted to see the man Ichigo had become; what he looked like, how he had changed if at all. The aristocrat had been left wondering all these years how he would turn out. 'Is Ichigo around?'

Yuzu frowned. 'He should be, but I haven't seen him all morning besides breakfast. He might just be busy. I'll go get him! You wait here! Do you want some water or tea?'

'I'm good.' she reassured the human girl, watching as she darted out of the room calling for her brother. Rukia let her eyes explore the humble abode. Absolutely nothing had changed. It was actually astonishing. Everything was exactly as she had remembered it, not a piece of furniture out of place. It was comforting to know that there were aspects of the universe that remained unmoving against the turning wheels of time.

Her chest tightened in fearfully excited anticipation. Bonds, if strong enough, were the same in nature. Each and every time she and Ichigo would meet once more, it was like the time they spent apart never existed. It felt so right to be around, as if they were two pieces in a puzzle that only they could finish. She thought he might be annoyed with her this time around because it had been so long, but she didn't doubt for a second that their bond had changed.

They were soulmates, after all. Well, at least she thought so. For some reason though, she didn't think that he thought any differently.

'Kuchiki-san!' Orihime Inoue cried, startling the dark-haired guest. 'Whoa, it really is you! I didn't recognize you at first with the long hair!'

'Hey, Inoue!' she returned, grinning from ear-to-ear. Orihime had always been such a charming companion with her gentle nature and willingness go the extra mile to protect her friends, particularly Ichigo. She remembered that the redhead used to have a crush on that guy. A huge one, actually. Was she still pining over him? They could catch up latter and ask.

Rukia tilted her head quizzically. The woman had certainly changed. Her figure was still enviable, but one could make out the tiniest semblance of an expanding belly. It didn't look like she was getting fat, but rather that she was carrying a child. Rukia confirmed her suspicions when she sensed a secondary reiatsu within the human. They would have to talk about that later. It seemed that a lot had happened in the near decade she had been gone.

'It's so great that you showed up.' the expecting mother giggled. 'We missed you so much, Kuchiki-san. I can't wait to tell you everything!'

Rukia arched a brow. With that pregnancy, for sure there was a lot that she needed to be filled in on.

'I can't wait.' the shorter of the two mumbled almost inaudibly, still eyeing the slightly swollen stomach. Had she really been gone that long? Was it really the point in these humans' lives to start families? Weren't they a bit... young? Well, she supposed that bearing your own offspring paved way for "normal" future. "Normal" was the dream, wasn't it? "Normal" was good.

But the idea still bothered the noble. These people, herself included, were anything but "normal." It felt awkwardly wrong to think that they could all settle down, their lives fizzing into a picturesque routine that was boringly stable.

'Onii-chan, hurry!' Yuzu's voice could be heard throughout the home. Rukia's heart fluttered when she could hear signs of a struggle; Ichigo's husky groaning for his sister to stop tugging at his arm, that he would be down in a short while. But his sibling would have none of it, insisting that he come to the living room immediately. His shoes squeaked noisily against the wooden floor as he stumbled down the stairs, until finally he waltzed into the congregation of longtime comrades.

His amber eyes widened as they met the familiar sapphire glow of her gaze. Her breath caught in her throat, a mix of shock and exhilaration contorting her features accordingly when she took in the reality of his image. He cut his perpetually orange hair shorter, revealing more of his forehead than he had ever before. His features matured somewhat, although there was still that childish fire beneath his cool surface. He had lost a little bit of weight. He was definitely not as muscular as he had once been when he boasted the body of a warrior, but he was still toned and lean. After all, he liked tight clothes.

She wanted to say something, but she never gave him the satisfaction of having been acknowledged first. He would always call her name, every syllable rolling off his tongue painfully slowly. As if the very sound of it was salvation from whatever despair he was drowning in.

She always relished moments like that, when the two halves that they were returned to the whole they were meant to be. It was a unique, miraculous kind of relationship where they could reunite and suddenly all the confusion or insecurities they experienced apart would disappear and their lives would just make sense. Their existence was imperative to each other, as much as they wanted to deny it. They needed each other like any living being needed air or water; they simply could not carry on without the other person by their side.

That was their relationship. It was great. It was miraculous that two souls could become so close.

They would reconnect again, just like old times.

But this time was different, she could feel it.

'Rukia...' he mumbled, looking at her with the same understanding look in his eyes. He was happy to see her, she could sense that. She savored every time he looked at her like that, like he had been waiting for her, like he would always wait for her. Each time they would return to each other's side after spending a tortuous amount of time away from each other, they would revert back to their normal, special chemistry.

She couldn't wait to experience that again. The explosive, dynamic energy of their relationship.

'Ichigo.' she returned, but his mood changed in a split second. He averted his eyes, and his whole body tensed up. He swallowed, his hands balling into fists at his sides. She scowled at that. Was he pissed at her for not coming sooner? Had she done something wrong? Did she miss something important? 'Ichigo?'

'Welcome back.' he laughed awkwardly, although only Rukia seemed to notice out of the bunch. 'It's been a while. Want something to drink?'

Blue eyes narrowed. The fuck?

'No.' she pulled back as if struck by an invisible force. 'I'm fine.'

'Ok.' he nodded, stuffing his trembling hands into his pocket. Shit. Shit, shit, _shit_. Her timing couldn't be worse.

'Aren't you glad Kuchiki-san finally showed up, Ichigo?'

 _Ichigo_? Since when had those two become so familiar with each other?

'Yeah, it's great!' he allowed, and Rukia was growing increasingly nervous. His behavior was so out of character. He was practically walking on eggshells around her. He was impeccably polite, which he never was - at least not to her. Plus, he had never been on a first-name basis with Orihime. How much closer had they gotten? Come to think of it, where was Chad or Uryu? Was Orihime here all by herself? 'It's been so long.'

'It really has been!' Orihime beamed. 'Kuchiki-san, please tell me you'll stay for lunch!'

'If you'll have me.'

'Yay! I'm going to cook something interesting!'

The petite woman smiled tensely, throwing up a little in her mouth. Perhaps she wouldn't stay then.

'Orihime, you really shouldn't! Leave it up to Yuzu.' Karin yawned as she walked into the room, scratching her head sleepily. When she saw Rukia, her stare hardened. H'er posture straightened, and her chin lifted so that she could peer at the smaller woman in what seemed like a challenge. 'You should really rest. Think of the baby.'

Blue met brown tensely.

'It isn't such a big deal, but I'll rest if you insist!' the apparently pregnant woman laughed heartily. 'Maybe your visit is a good omen, Kuchiki-san! Ichigo and I have some wonderful news.'

All the color drained from the man's face.

'Oh, really?'

 _Shit._

'We're expecting!'

 _Shit, shit._

'What?'

 _Shit, shit, shit!_

'I said that we're expecting!'

'I know. But expecting what?'

 _Fuck!'_

'We're expecting a baby!'

Rukia flashed a murderous grin. No one could really tell how forced it was except for the man who used to fight alongside her on the battlefield. Her azure eyes lit up in what the other woman assumed was delight, although it was in fact seering rage. She nodded her heart-shaped face slowly, as if allowing the words to soak in. Like she was hoping this was all just a lame joke and that someone would pipe up and reveal that it was a lie. 'Well, that's fantastic! How _wonderful_.'

* * *

Lunch was an out of body experience. Rukia felt like she was floating ten feet above the ground, watching the entire façade like it were a play. The two bubbly personalities were extremely talkative - a bit too much for the shinigami's liking. Karin was quiet, although listening intently, occasionally glancing over at her brother, then at the lady who used to live in his closet. Ichigo seemed to pay no mind to the conversation, although he was a bit too interested in playing with his food.

Eventually, Rukia declared that she had to take her leave, much to the dismay of the woman of the household. She insisted that they go out for dessert, that they wait until Uryu got off work. She explained that Chad would be unable to see her today, as he was overseas training for an upcoming boxing match. Rukia declined, saying that she had a lot of work to do and no there was nobody else in her squad who could do it.

The four girls exchanged their goodbyes, not knowing when they would see each other again. Rukia was about to bid Ichigo farewell, but he offered to take a quick walk with her. To... catch up, he said.

 _I'm going to fucking skin you_ , she thought, but agreed with faux joy.

* * *

'Damn it, are you fucking insane?!' Ichigo shouted, dodging another swing at his head. 'Calm down!'

'How can I be calm when you're a disgusting pig?!' she spat, furious when he grabbed her by the wrists to stop her assault. 'What the hell, Ichigo! How fucking could you?!'

'Look.' he backed her up to a wall to prevent her squirming. She was tough to handle. 'How could I have known how you felt? You never said _anything_.'

'I thought it was pretty fucking obvious!' she roared the last two words, her eyes watering with angry tears. He failed to notice. His vision was red with disbelief.

'Don't give me that crap, you fucking psycho! If either of us was obvious, it was me! You know how much I _wanted_ -'

'How can you say you want me when you crawled into bed with her, fucked her, _married_...!' she trailed off, turning her head to the side so that she didn't have to look at his outrageously defiant face. The tears were threatening to fall, but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing any weakness within her.

'You left, OK?!' a hand left a wrist to cup her jaw with two fingers, forcing her to look at him. When his eyes locked with her sapphire orbs that were glossy with fury, his own wrath shone in his amber eyes. He was determined not to let her pin this on him. ' _You_ were the one who left, and I didn't know if you were coming back.'

'You should have had more faith in me, you weak, fickle-hearted womanizer!'

'Oh, please!' he threw his arms up in exasperation, letting her go. 'Please, Rukia! Spare me the fucking speech, OK? You _never_ gave any hints that you liked me. I was always the one longing for you, waiting for you to show up. You're angry.' he accused, pointing a finger at her. 'You're angry that I moved on and had a life without you. What did you expect me to do? Sit around and wait for you like an abandoned puppy? You should have known better!'

'What can I say?' she shot back. 'You were always the type to throw yourself a pity party.'

'Fuck you!'

'Fuck you too!'

'For fuck's sake, just leave! Please! So that I can finally enjoy a peaceful life without being dragged own by all the bullshit that comes along with you.'

Her palm met his cheek painfully. He groaned at the sharp force, and she massaged her sore hand. Her whole body was trembling with vexation. Rukia felt absolutely godless; she loved this man, more than anything and anyone. She was sure he felt the same way, there was just no need to say it when they could _feel_ it, when people could see it - an supposedly unbreakable bond that transcended fate.

'Don't give me the excuse that nothing was said.' she hissed. 'You know fully well just how much I _love_ -'

He pulled her into a tight embrace, pushing her again against the hard concrete. His chest tightened as he felt the familiarity of her soft skin, her supple body warm against his. He heard her gasp, and he knew that she liked it too - the feeling of physical closeness. Intimacy.

But she liked it more than just liking something. She really, really, liked it. Actually, she loved it. The touch of his arms around her, the close proximity of their bodies - it was enough to make her heartbeat thunder in her ears. Yet, the pleasure was as great as the suffering. The image of Orihime, pregnant, combined with the knowledge that she was carrying Ichigo's _child_ \- it was too much to handle.

She looked up to face him, to scold him. What she saw instead stunned her.

His amber eyes were burning with such an intense longing that she nearly melted beneath his smoldering gaze. His eyebrows were furrowed slightly, his lips parted like he wanted to say all the things he never got to tell her. Her heart returned his feelings, the urge to be with him sparking. She thought that she had tamed that desire, but he had a way of proving her wrong. She wanted to tell him she loved him, finally. Then they could be in each other's arms again, though this time they would have a finality that they both knew they wanted. She knew he wanted it, with him looking at her like that. Like he was completely and utterly in love with her.

So... why...?

'Don't touch me!' she struggled, pushing him away with so much force that she hurt herself. 'Don't fucking touch me, and don't look at me like that! Not now, not ever.'

'Rukia...' he groaned, clearly exhausted by their heated banter. He reached out a hand to her, but she swatted it away. Her cheeks were a furious pink, and her jaw was so tight he thought she was getting ready to take a bite out of him.

'You're going to be a father.' her voice cracked, and she brushed past him quickly to open a senkaimon. 'I suggest you focus on that instead.'

Damn her for being so difficult!

'This is destiny, Rukia.' he called after her. 'It's nothing personal. We didn't happen, it's not a big deal. Everyone's happy. We can all have peaceful lives, life and death don't have to mix all the time, you know.'

'Bye, Ichigo.' she ignored him and entered the portal, a hell butterfly accompanying her side.

She thought destiny was _theirs_.

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you for taking the time to read the first chapter of this story! I was very displeased with Bleach's ending, for many reasons. As an IchiRuki shipper, one of them was how it thrusted IchiHime in my face, when I genuinely couldn't figure out how their relationship had evolved past the promising strength of IchiRuki.

Kubo said that Ichigo and Rukia were more than friends and less than lovers. I thought this implied that he felt that lovers were the ultimate bond. If Ichigo and Orihime are lovers, then that means they have surpassed the bond that Ichigo and Rukia shared. And yet, I had not read the IchiHime development being fleshed out in the manga. Additionally, it was confusing to emphasize the chemistry between IchiRuki in that final chapter while also being shown their children with their respective partners. I was so conflicted as to how to feel!

Having said that, it's his prerogative. All I can do is channel my wishes onto fanfiction!

Rather than completely rewrite the conclusion, I thought to add onto what has already been established. This is a prologue to chapter 686.

I hope that you support me in this new literary journey! I have always been so thankful for the support in this community. I am forever inspired by all of you. I hope to be deserving of your attention once more with this story.

Thank you, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	2. Turn Back Now

_'If the world was different, do you think that we could be together? Do you think that we'd be free to be in love?'_

 _'I... I think I...' the tall man cupped her face, his blood red eyes boring into her frosty cerulean orbs. A hand raised to fist her short, white hair lightly, like he wanted to make sure she was real. Even though he had only known her for a few months he never wanted to let her out of his sight. He didn't know why, but the deepest recesses of his soul were resonating with this woman. Like he had known her all his life. 'What are you trying to say?'_

 _'The world is changing.'_

 _'Is it?'_

 _'Yes. And it will mean a new beginning - for you and for me.'_

 _And that was when it hit him._

 _'You're the woman who-'_

* * *

'Ah!' Rukia woke up in a cold sweat.

It was always the same dream for months now. She would always be in her bankai form, speaking to a man with long, black hair and ruby eyes. They would always have the same conversation; she'd ask some cryptic question about love, and he'd eventually start accusing her of... what? He never finished that sentence, not even once.

The image of the man in her dreams gave her chills. He was eerily similar to someone she knew but couldn't quite place, although the lower half of his face was bandaged. She thought that maybe she had been having this recurring nightmare because she was still angry at him for... Well, she didn't know what she was angry at him about exactly. There were a million things he had done that warranted a good beating, but she was trying to turn over a new leaf.

Besides, she was over it.

Kind of.

Taking a good look at her surroundings, she was momentarily surprised to see that she had been sleeping on the couch in the living room of the Kurosaki household. She quickly recalled the events of the previous day. She had come to the human world with Renji and Ichika to watch Chad's boxing match with the Kurosaki family and their common friends. Their meeting had extended past the viewing, resulting in a lengthy outing with amongst comrades. Ichika had fallen asleep upstairs, so her parents decided that they would be better off spending the night in this realm.

'Good morning, sunshine.' her husband greeted. Taking a seat beside her, he extended a hand out to signal that he wanted hold hers. She complied, smiling sweetly at him. He gave her a tight squeeze and let go. He knew she never liked such forms of intimacy for too long. She had always been a little cold to him about things like that. 'Are you hungry?'

'I'm fine. We need to get going.'

'No, you don't.' Ichigo interjected. The newly-appointed captain tilted in the direction of that voice.

There he was, seated at the kitchen table with a plate full of breakfast. His amber eyes stared at her with all the gentleness he had acquired living out the last wonderfully peaceful ten years. His orange hair was as vibrant as ever, but he cut his bangs short to reveal more of his face. She didn't mind. She thought it made him look appropriately mature. After all, he was now the doctor in charge of running the family business. He now had an obligation to be presentable at all times.

'Don't tell me what to do.' she shot back playfully.

'Why, you...!'

Smirking to herself, she stood up and smoothed out her dress. Their bickering never changed. She always enjoyed their dynamic. It was when she felt most comfortable. It was a relationship she could never replicate with anyone else, no matter how much she tried.

Ichigo was, and will always be, her other half. For the longest time, she was sour about him marrying Orihime. She thought that they had an unbreakable bond that transcended every other earthly form of love. In her mind, it was only logical that they end up together. She had been waiting for him to ask, but he never did. Besides, he seemed content with his life alongside the beautiful brunette.

Rukia's heart tightened at that.

She was over it. She had to be. There was no reversing time.

'Rukia! Good morning!' Orihime handed her a plate of hot food. The shinigami thanked her and grudgingly took it, knowing that she had to eat just a bit to be polite but that she would suffer indescribable stomach pains later on. It was horrible of her to think so, but she believed that some battle wounds were easier to tend to than the aftermath of her friend's cooking. 'Ichigo and I were thinking that we could all take our kids out to hang in the park! Ichika doesn't need a gigai, does she?'

The shorter woman's expression tensed ever so slightly. One thing she could never really get used to was hearing his name roll off of his wife's tongue. It was a reminder of their evolved relationship, of how far they had come from the unrequited love that used to eat at the busty lady in her teenage years. But more than anything, it was a slap to Rukia's face - that she wasn't the one by Ichigo's side.

It was fine. She was over it.

'No, she doesn't. Besides, she's too young. She'd be extremely uncomfortable in it.'

'That's great then! So are you accepting our invitation?'

'Umm...'

'Let's go join them.' her red-haired companion insisted. 'Ichika seemed fond of Kazui yesterday. It'd be real shitty of us to tear her away from her new friend so soon.'

She sighed. Didn't Renji realize that she had just been crowned a captain? She had to get back and get some work done. There was nothing worse than a captain who failed to fulfill her duties. Then again, he did have a point. Ichika was headstrong, so it was difficult for her to make friends. It was a surprise that she and Kazui got along so well. Perhaps taking one more day off wouldn't hurt. 'Sure, let's stay. But just for today. We have to head home tonight.'

'You got it, sweetheart.'

 _Fuck!_ She hated it whenever he was overtly affectionate in front of people. They always had to disagree on the topic of public displays of endearment. He tended to dot over her, but she was never one for tenderness. Tough love - that was what she always dished out.

'Ichigo, we're out of apples and soy sauce! Could you go to the store and buy some?'

'Sure.'

'Oh, wait. But you don't know how to pick fruit out!'

'Huh?'

'The last time I asked you to get oranges for Kazui's orange-melon-avocado-jelly birthday cake, the ones you brought back were sour! They made the cake taste bad!'

All three of her pals kept their mouths shut. They were pretty sure that wasn't why the cake wasn't very appetizing.

'Take Rukia with you!' the enthusiastic cook beamed. 'She'll never let me down!'

Renji squirmed uncomfortably in his seat. That didn't sound like a very good idea to him. He wasn't stupid. His wife had started reciprocated his feelings after her first trip to the human world following Ywach's defeat. That was when she found out that Ichigo had married Orihime, and that they were expecting Kazui. Maybe she didn't realize it at the time, but her willingness to engage in a romantic relationship with him was partly influenced by the rejection she must have felt at the time. Still, he chose not to pay any mind to it. They were lovers now, and that was all that mattered.

Yet whenever he witnessed the special energy, the unique bond that radiated between those two, he always felt that her heart was out of his reach.

What was it that they shared? It was love, wasn't it? It had to be. It was so strong that it couldn't be anything else. But it also seemed so much more than that, if it was possible. Like their worlds would cease to function without each other. Like they needed to exist for their own sanity, like they couldn't let go because letting go meant living as only half of who they really were.

It was all so troublesome.

'I... I'm tired.' she blurted out.

 _That was a lame excuse_ , she scolded herself. Just because she put the past behind her didn't mean that it wasn't uncharacteristically awkward when they were alone.

'That's a lame excuse!' the lieutenant of sixth company laughed cheerfully. Trying his best to be supportive, he convinced himself that Ichigo and Rukia had their own lives now, their own families. Whatever they had or whatever was still lingering between them no longer mattered. Neither were the type to throw everything they had built. And besides, it was all in the past!

It had to be.

'Go show this idiot how to pick some fruit out.' he gestured to the orange-haired man, who raised his eyebrows irritably.

'I don't need her help!'

'Fool!' the petite woman snapped. 'You'd be hopeless without me! You'd probably bring back some overripe mango thinking it was an orange!'

'What did you say?!'

'Just go!' Orihime giggled frantically. 'Quickly! You know Kazui can't stand breakfast without his orange juice.'

'Don't spoil him so much.'

'Me? _You're_ the reason he's so spoiled!'

'Ok, I'm going.' he conceded. He never had an argument with his wife, and he wasn't about to start one now.

Blue met brown for a split second, but that was all they needed to know that the trip was going to be anything but pleasant.

* * *

'I'm surprised that you're fine with Ichigo being alone with my wife.'

'I'm fine with it _because_ she's your wife.' Orihime clarified. 'She's obviously in love with you, otherwise she would never have married you. And Ichigo loves me.' she touched her chest. 'I can feel it. I'm secure with that. There's no need to worry about anything happening between them.'

'That's some wishful thinking.' he scoffed. 'You can still sense the tension between them.'

'I don't know what you're talking about.'

'Whatever.'

'You should have more faith in her, you know. You two have a family together.'

Renji didn't bother responding. She didn't understand. He would never be as close to Rukia as Ichigo was, not in an endless number of lifetimes. He felt it too - she was blasé about their relationship. Nothing had changed except that they now had a daughter.

But he could never get Rukia to agree to sleep with him. They did... other things in bed. It was just that one action, that seemingly forbidden act of oneness that she was utterly opposed to. Her excuse was always that she was scared or that it didn't feel right. She would jokingly poke fun at the difference in their size, though he knew she was purposely trying to stroke his ego so that he wouldn't be angry with her.

In the end, Mayuri Kurotsuchi had to extract an egg and manipulate its reaction with his sperm. The embryo was implanted in a surrogate, in one of the scientist's own products from his experimentation with gigai and soul candies. The result was a success, and Ichika was born into Soul Society without any complications.

Still, Renji thought that the fact that his wife refused to carry their child was a giant red flag.

* * *

'That doesn't smell right.' Rukia said after taking a whiff of an orange Ichigo had picked out.

'It smells fine.' he rolled his eyes, tossing it in along with the soy sauce.

'Fool!' she dove for the fruit and took it out of the shopping bag. 'I'm here to make sure you don't fuck your son's juice up! He can't have this, it has a strange scent!'

'Strange?! Damn it, it smells like a fucking orange!'

'It smells like a _dying_ orange!'

'You don't even _go_ grocery shopping!'

'That has nothing to do with my ability to pick out a decent orange!'

'It has everything to do with it!'

'Says who?!'

'Gah! Whatever!' he bellowed, aware that the other customers were staring at the commotion. Crossing his arms over his chest in angry defeat, he allowed a wide grin to grace his features.

'This one smells better.' she offered, rolling her pick to the bag. 'Ichigo...?' she probed when she caught his gaze on her.

'I missed you.'

Her breath hitched. 'What are you talking about? I make sure to visit once every few months.'

'Yeah, but it's different when...' he stopped himself.

 _When we're alone._

She didn't need to hear it. She knew what he wanted to say.

He looked away, but she allowed her saddening sapphire orbs to linger on him. She just couldn't understand it. There was something between them, something invisible but powerful. They were magnetized to each other, forever tied by fate. No matter how much time passed, they never felt distant. Each time they reunited, it was like they had never spent a moment away from each other. The chemistry they shared never waned.

She wondered what it would be like for Ichigo to love her. How would it feel to lose herself in the fiery embers of his eyes as he told her that he loved her? Were his lips soft or chapped? Would he cradle her like she was made of glass or would he throw her down and ravage her? A thousand questions darted across her brain and the longing that had been building up for so long in her heart was starting to show on her face. Her eyelids lowered slightly and her lips parted. Her whole body ached for him. She wanted to embrace him and tell him that everything was one big mistake.

They were two halves of one being.

They were meant to be together.

So why did it all turn out this way?

That was when he stole a glance at her.

Why was she looking at him like that? He couldn't bear it.

He loved her for so long, wanting nothing more than to never separate again. But she kept leaving his side, as if he meant nothing to her. Like it didn't matter that they couldn't see each other. She couldn't take that back. She couldn't choose to make him feel like she needed him when it was already too late.

'Rukia. Stop.'

That snapped her back to reality. Gasping, she turned her head away from him so that couldn't see her mortification. What was wrong with her? He was _married_. To a woman he loved very much, who had a son with. Why was she still pining after him?

Gone were the days. She had to let go.

Maybe this feeling of emptiness, this desperate yearning when they were apart was one-sided. Perhaps it was she who burned with the desire to be by his side, and he simply saw her as a precious friend. All that they had been through, all the emotions that bubbled up inside when they thought they were going to lose each other to war or death - none of that meant anything to him, not anymore.

That was how it should be. Neither of them were willing to destroy the families they had created, the present they had carved out for themselves.

But still...

Still, her heart was shattering and she could do nothing.

'I'm sorry.' she muttered, the words choking her. 'I need to go wash my hands.'

So she ran to the nearest to the restroom, not bothering to wait for a response or see his reaction. She was relieved that the women's room was available, locking herself within the dim confines of the concrete walls.

The tears were icy as they rolled down her cheeks. Her breathing turned labored, her chest feeling like someone had torn right through it. It was too much, it was all just too much. What was wrong with her? So many years have passed, why couldn't she let go? Even though she kept trying to be at peace with how everything had turned out, even though she kept smiling and laughing like nothing happened, even though she tried to be a loving wife and mother - why couldn't she just let it go?

She was still mad. She hated him. She hated how he just disregarded her.

Maybe all this time, the bond they supposedly shared was nothing more than an illusion of her mind.

Her head started pounding, but it was different from any type of headache she had ever experienced. Her fingers curled on her head, her locks entangling with her digits. Initially, she thought it was because she was crying so much, but the pain was so sharp she swore that a knife was lodging itself in her skull. She shut her eyes to try and gain some clarity, but it only resulted in white hot flashes scorching her thoughts. Her teeth clenched as fragmented visions played behind her closed lids.

 _'For you.' the man from her dreams with the red eyes and raven hair smiled as he opened his palm to reveal three lustrous pearls. She had been told by the servants that presenting women with such fine treasures was the courting custom for nobles in this kingdom._

'Ah..!' she stifled a scream.

No, this wasn't a vision. It was too vivid.

 _'You're the Queen...' he moaned before trailing kisses down her neck. 'No matter what anyone says.'_

Her body remembered. She could feel it happening to her, as if that man's lips were on her skin right now.

 _'It won't work!' he screamed as he fell to his knees._

These were memories.

Her hands roamed to find the sink, twisting the faucet open so that she could splash her face with water. Her eyes fluttered open because she didn't want to be plagued by those hellish recollections anymore.

What was happening?

She looked into the mirror to examine herself, but was surprised to see her very image standing straight and staring right at her with open eyes.

Even though she was hunched over, squinting through damp lashes.

'Heaven.' her reflection said in a strangled voice.

'What...?'

'Heaven. Go back to heaven.'

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you to everyone supporting this story! I'm so honored to enjoy your continued support!

I'm sorry that the update for this story took longer than expected. I wanted to be thorough with my plot outline before unraveling the first plot points.

This story is the product of my imagination for another final arc to the **Bleach** series. We know about Soul Society, the human world, the Soul Kingdom, and even hell - but not once has _heaven_ been mentioned. I find it an injustice to have hell without heaven. I don't count Soul Society or the royal kingdom as representative of heaven. I feel that it lacks romanticism.

The plot will revolve around the idea of heaven and the past between Ichigo and Rukia's bankai forms - what I believe to be their original personalities. I will be exploring my take on the origins of their bond, why their worlds cannot seem to function without each other, and why they should be together.

Thank you to **NekoMimiR, NieveDrop, blissbeat, BinaLove, A, AppleslovesApples, DarkUxue-sama, Shirayuki992, FunnyEasyMe, Carupin, jobananasan,** and the **Guest** reviewers!

 **Shirayuki992** , I have purposely not yet delved into Ichigo's feelings! All will be explained, he isn't as selfish or cold as I'm making him seem right now. Hehe masochist or not, I'm so honored to enjoy your support! Thank you so much!

I hope that you are interested in the story, and that I will be fortunate enough to enjoy your support!

Thanks so much everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	3. His Heart Is Broken

Rukia stared back at her reflection incredulously. There was no way this could be real. She had to hallucinating. This had to be a trick. Her mind was probably playing games with her as payback for all the stress she put herself through before the ceremony to proclaim her as a captain of the Gotei 13. That, and the emotional strain of being in such close proximity to the man she loved but couldn't have.

Yeah, that's it. This was all just the stress talking.

Struggling to regain her composure, she shook her head and washed her face again. And again. And yet again. She was delaying having to open her eyes, because she knew that her image still refused to move in coordination with her actual movements that she would run out screaming and break everything in this cursed grocery store.

Finally, her eyes fluttered open.

* * *

Ichigo's heart tightened to the point where his lungs weren't getting enough blood to function properly.

He knew it was a huge mistake to lock eyes with Rukia. There was an invisible force in the air around them that weighed down on him constantly, warning him not to get too close. He had no right to abuse the intense chemistry between them. After all, it was his choice to finally tear away from the shackles of their curious relationship that he could never quite define.

She wasn't a friend. She wasn't a lover. But he didn't feel complete without her. His world stopped revolving after they parted ways, and it was only now that it was spinning on its axis again that the familiarity of _being alive_ returned to his senses. Only now that he remembered what genuine excitement, frustration, _satisfaction_ felt like again, did the mundane emptiness of his mortal life slap his resolve.

He was idle, tired, and _lonely_. God, he was so fucking lonely.

It had been years, _years_ since he felt this way. For some reason, Ywach's defeat did not end in a happy victory. The dominant pride that soaked every fiber of his being whenever he cut down his opponents was absent as his sword pierced through the Quincy king. There was no celebration in the aftermath of the war, no room to rejoice or to give thanks for another shot at peace. There was too much death, too much blood and grief splattered across the screaming ground.

What was there to be happy about? They ensured their own survival by massacring so many others. Just like they did many times before. It was an uphill battle to just stay alive. He wanted to protect everyone, but metallic stench of rotting flesh was enough to send him over the edge.

How many times was he going to have to do this?

 **Life and death, twisted and fused together. They were destined to all be one and the same.**

That was what Ywach said. It had struck a chord in him. Why didn't that sound so terrible? Why did he sort of understand the sentiments of the dark king? Was it because he was a descendant of the same lineage?

 **Life and death.**

But they could never be one, could they? That was the whole problem. Destiny dictated that they had to be kept separate from each other. That humans were to endure this endless cycle?

Why? What for? More killing, more dying, more suffering.

 _Rukia!_

Rukia made him feel like he could trudge forward, no matter what. She had changed his world. She gave him the power to intervene in matters of existence, but their bond ran deeper than his gratitude for the fateful night she saved him. That woman had not only changed his world, she had _become_ his world. Nothing felt real if she wasn't by his side, and he could never understand why.

 _Why?_

Even when she chose to stay at Soul Society after her execution was stopped, he still had his powers. So why did he feel useless without her? She didn't physically give him more strength when she returned to his realm. It was just her presence that made him feel like he could swing his blade again. When he thought he'd never see her again, it was the most painful goodbye he ever had to give. Because she was still _there_ , somewhere, he just couldn't _be_ with her.

 _Just like life and death._

They were never meant to be together. They were from completely different worlds. She would always go back to that place, and he would never be able to leave his either. It was impossible.

In those seventeen powerless months, he actively tried to change the way he felt about her. Because that was when he started to recognize the absurdity of wanting to be with her; him, a living, breathing human being, wanted to be with a goddess of death. They would never end with one another, so to him there was no longer any point in succumbing to his emotions. He had live independently from her.

And he failed. Miserably.

Those seventeen months felt like seventeen centuries. Waking up, going to school, ending up in bed; it was hellish for him! He fell back into a depressingly constant routine, stuck with the same people who he cherished but could never make him feel the way Rukia could.

She wasn't a friend. She wasn't a lover.

She wasn't even supposed to ever meet him.

So how did she become the lynchpin of his world?

Without her, he had plunged so far down into despair that he could do nothing except cry alongside the pitter patter of rain. It was remarkable how quickly he recovered at the mere sight of her stabbing him, how his tears just ceased to flow. How the first thing they did after a long time apart was argue, and all was right again.

It had to stop.

He couldn't live like that.

It wasn't even that his happiness dependent on her. It was beyond that. He felt _weak_ in her absence.

 _Get over it. Get over her._

 _Don't do this to yourself._

 _Be your own person._

That was what he kept telling himself. That was why during the last war, he completely distanced himself from her. He had to fight without her. By his own strength, by his own growth. It was his family, his history. She had nothing to do with it.

But without her by his side, all the fighting was meaningless compared to his previous conquests. She gave him the courage to win, against her brother, against Soul Society, against his own hollow - he wanted to win! She always reminded him of who he was, of the man she was in his heart. She didn't even realize that he could only be that man when he was with her.

Overcoming Ywach was revenge. It wasn't... it wasn't winning, it was retribution. It was dark and soiled, dirtying up his weary soul.

Blood. Death. Suffering.

Everywhere.

So _ugly_.

And when the war ended in his victory, he knew that she would stay in her homeland. There was no saying if or when they would ever be thrust into each other's paths again. He conditioned himself to not expect her to visit. And she didn't, not for years. Five years, to be exact.

He wasn't about to sit around waiting for her, like a lovesick puppy who couldn't survive without her - even though he often felt that way. This time, he'd move forward with a peaceful life.

No more killing. No more dying. No more suffering.

Within those five years that Rukia had just vanished into thin air, accepting Orihime's love was the best thing he decided to do. Being tied to someone that loved you and wanted to be with you, feeling that wholesome contentedness that seemed to gloss his vision over in a hopeful sheen, gave him the kind of stability he had longed for nearly all his life. He thought that maybe she could complete him.

It was stable and comfortingly predictable. It was nice to have a family of his own. It was life, hope, and goodness.

Never underestimate reality.

It turned out that tying the knot didn't mean that he would necessarily stay in love forever. He loved Orihime in the sense that he thought she was a sweet woman and had given him a son. For that, he would forever be grateful. She always tried to protect him, and it was his fault for thinking that that was good enough.

But she wasn't Rukia. He knew that from the very beginning, but he desperately tried to manipulate his feelings.

It didn't work.

Waking up to his wife, coming to her, playing with Kazui; they were all nice moments. But there were so many more instances throughout the day that felt wrong. The sex, for example, was just that; sex. It wasn't a mind-blowing surge of uncontainable love - it was physical gratification. She couldn't dry his rain or make his world start turning again. She was just... there.

He prayed that the emptiness would just stop.

But eventually, the illusion shattered and he soon had to come to terms with the fact that no, he wasn't fine being a normal human being living out a normal life. His current situation made him feel like fate was taunting him, goading him into perpetual irritation. Now, his spiritual capabilities were the strongest they'd ever been; shinigami, Quincy, and hollow strains of reiatsu ribboning into an almost omnipotent strength. Now that he actually had the power to fight, his duties had been reduced to slicing through the occasional hollow. Now that he had full mastery of who he really was, the normalcy he prayed for in his younger years felt like a curse.

Maybe that was why Ywach's words had such a profound effect on him.

 **Life and death, twisted and fused together. They were destined to all be one and the same.**

 _You and I, I thought our meeting was fated._

 **But now... That will likely never happen.**

 _But we were never meant to collide._

 **You have yourself to thank for that, Ichigo.**

 _That's right. I was the one who made the decision to bury what we have. I was the one who ripped the heart out of my own universe._

 _It was me!_

* * *

'You alright?' Ichigo asked with forced nonchalance. After that knowing gaze they shared, he didn't want to send her any more mixed signals. 'You look like you've seen a ghost.'

'I'm fine.' Rukia insisted. 'Let's go.'

He raised an eyebrow quizzically. She was being weird. Actually, she was really tense. He noticed that she was purposely angling herself against him in such a way that hid her right arm behind her torso. Without even thinking, he reached out and pulled her arm out. An involuntarily gasped escaped him. Her limb was bleeding from where tiny shards of glass lodged themselves into her skin.

'Rukia, what the fuck?!'

'The mirror broke.' she mumbled. 'It was my fault.'

'Well, at least don't hide it! Hey!' he beckoned a uniformed man closer. 'Do you have a first aid kit?!'

'Uh, s-sure! Right over here, sir.'

The pair were escorted into a tiny storage room. Irritated, Ichigo yelled at the employee to complain about the lack of proper medical equipment. Grunting in defeat, he knew he had to make do with what he would be able to find. He sent the trainee on his way before he began rummaging through the supplies. Luckily, he quickly found bandages and tweezers. He clicked his tongue. But no antiseptic.

'Give me your arm.'

'I'm fine.'

'Damn it, Rukia! Give me your arm!'

She did as she was told, still a little dazed from her nightmarish experience in the restroom. When she had looked at the mirror again, she was relieved to see that this time, her image reflected her actual movements and outward appearance perfectly.

Minus one detail.

There were white wings attached to her back.

She blinked several times, but to no avail. The wings were still on her no matter how much she tried to deny it, even though she felt around her back and confirmed that they weren't actually there. It wasnt that she was frightened. Rather, she was fascinated. And somehow more secure. It made her feel better to see those wings on her.

Then there was a pang of familiarity. It sounded crazy at first, but she swore that she actually recognized herself in the mirror. She could feel it in her heart, in the way that something dormant deep inside of her seemed to awaken with a newfound energy. She just had to remember.

As if in a trance, her hand had come up to brush against the mirror and trace the outline of her feathery appendages. As soon as her skin touched the glass, it shattered into a million pieces. She didn't even feel the pain. What she saw was still fresh in her mind, shocking her into an ominous tranquility.

'Ah!' she winced. The sting of the chip leaving her skin yanked her back into reality.

'Sorry.' he muttered, concentrated on treating her. 'This is bad. Don't tell me you smashed the mirror.'

'I didn't. I... I just touched it and it broke.'

'What a lame excuse.'

'It's the truth!'

'Ah, whatever!'

The noble didn't feel like arguing, so she bit back an insulting retort. Her arm was way too sore anyway. It was starting to swell with heat, the skin around the invading shards reddening dangerously. 'Ow...'

'Sorry. I'll be gentle.'

 _'I'll be gentle.' he whispered, his breath hot on her lips._

Rukia turned her head away. Not now, not now! She couldn't be having one of those stupid, fragmented dreams right now. Not when she was around Ichigo. That vision only amplified the already raging longing she felt towards her former partner.

She remembered when the dreams first began. That morning, she woke up gasping for Ichigo. Renji had rolled over and asked her what was wrong. She could tell that he was panicking inside. He had always been insecure about her relationship with the orange-haired human. She lied and said that it was a nightmare about her time awaiting execution, confident that the fantasy would not repeat itself.

But it did.

Every. Single. Night.

'I'm going to wrap your arm up in these.' he raised the bandages for her to see.

She simply nodded, appreciative of his help. His head was lowered so that he could unpack the dressing. He wouldn't be able to see what she was doing, so she allowed her eyes to linger on him for far too long.

He was even more handsome than the last time she visited. His amber eyes had become strong, glowing with a confident hardness that she thought was beautiful but also a little sad. She used to get so lost in them whenever they had moments of unadulterated understanding, but now it was difficult for him to let her into his soul.

He adopted that coldness towards her ever since the battle with the Quincies. The first time she noticed it was right after she had come out of surgery, and she thanked him for coming to the aid of Soul Society. He lowered his guard and momentarily flashed a look of surprise, before defensively crossing his arms over his chest and huffing that he was of no use.

But she _knew_ he was shouldering a more personal burden, she could feel it. He just didn't want to share it with her anymore. He had thrown himself deeper into despair and no longer wanted her to interfere in his private affairs.

That made her lonely.

Being around him now made her lonely too. Even though it felt right, even though she felt complete only when he was next to her. The hurt she felt from his presence was now equal in measure. Because he distanced himself from her, because he was married, and because she could never have him in this lifetime.

It was agonizingly tempting, the way he was now smoothing out her skin with his palm.

When was the last time he touched her? Neither of them were very into hugs, so even back then the times they actually did come into physical contact were rare. She never felt a need to advance into physical intimacy either, not when the almost telekinetic closeness of their bond was more than enough to satisfy her. Plus, she hadn't perceived bodily pleasure as a serious craving.

With Renji, the secrets they shared in bed failed to quell the emptiness inside of her. Wasn't she supposed to see stars? Weren't they supposed to melt into each other? But it was in those moments that she felt so small, so aware that she was just a tiny speck in the vast universe. Because of those unstoppable thoughts, she could never go all the way.

Maybe it was because of all the strain she put on herself lately, or perhaps it was because her longing for Ichigo had allowed itself to bake for a good decade - but this time was different. This time, constellations were forming every time his skin was on hers, the innocent connection electrifyingly sweet.

Her eyes shut, allowing her senses to take in his warmth and the rough texture of his hands as they secured the gauze on her. A tight squeeze on her heart set off a fire to her abdomen. The longing grew stronger every second, and her heartbeat was so fervent that she worried whether he could hear it.

She didn't feel ashamed. Somehow, her reaction felt right. This felt right. His fingers, his words, his voice - they felt right, familiar.

 _'I'll be gentle.'_

Ichigo was starting to sweat.

All those years wasted pining after her, trying to move on without her, just for a carnivorous desire to bubble up beneath the surface the second he touched her. Her silky consistency was intoxicating, but that wasn't what was making this so difficult. It was the way she didn't even try to hide how much she was enjoying this even though she should be in sizzling pain. It was the way her eyelids closed and her lips parted in noticeable arousal, so wanting and needy - was she _trying_ to provoke a reaction from him? He felt like an alcoholic in a wine cellar.

Of course she'd do this when they were both married to different people. Of _course_. If only she knew how much she hurt him just by being here. She would never be able to understand how much it hurt to see her leave after her visits. He was convinced he was partially traumatized. Seeing her disappear as the senkaimon doors converged were a strange trigger. He'd always feel a little anxious for a good hour afterwards.

Just thinking about it was infuriating him.

He never wanted her to leave. He never wanted her to be taken away from him.

 _'No one will tear us apart.' he held her arm tighter. 'Not even heaven itself.'_

'Ow, Ichigo!' she gasped sharply, snapping him out of his thoughts.

'H-huh?'

'What's wrong with you? Why grab my arm all of a sudden? You're practically strangling it!'

He _was_.

'Sorry.' he muttered, releasing her. 'There you go. All done.'

His face was numb as he tidied the supplies away. They were starting again; the random visions that plagued him when she was around.

* * *

The stroll back home was silent. They walked side by side, a ticklish electricity radiating between their bodies. The orange-haired doctor kept switching between which hand would carry the plastic bags. It was his way of coping with the tension.

On the other hand, Rukia was struggling just to walk in a straight line. There was always tension between them, but after recognizing how stimulated her body felt under his touch, it was a whole new level of thickness in the air. She swore she could kiss the ground as soon as she saw the glass sliding doors of the Kurosaki clinic.

'Welcome back!' Orihime greeted. 'Eh! Rukia, what's wrong with your arm?!'

'It was an accident.' the injured woman blurted.

'It looks so painful...' the doctor's wife pouted. 'Thank goodness Ichigo was there! Did he bandage you up?'

'Uh... Yes.' came the distracted reply. From the corner of her eye, she saw Ichigo stiffen at their conversation. He hurriedly walked to the kitchen, occupying himself with arranging the groceries.

'Sweetheart, did you gain weight?' Renji asked playfully. He glanced at her arm, but didn't acknowledge it. She was always insulted whenever he made a big deal out of her injuries.

She rolled her eyes. 'Why do you ask?'

'I think you're getting too heavy for the furniture! Orihime and I had to dust off feathers from where you slept!'

Her stomach flipped.

'It was definitely the stuffing. It must have come off of the pillows.' he laughed. 'I guess you were rolling around way too much.'

Rukia doubted that.

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you so much to everyone for their interest in this story! Thank you so much for your support!

I would like to clarify something!

 **This will not be a cheating fic.** All the love that ensues between Ichigo and Rukia will be **direct** **and honest**. I can't see either of them cheating on their partners.

Thank you to **Kasai to Kasumi, absolutelyindifferent, Lonely Athena, E-kingmoney18, Shirayuki992, gin, NieveDrop, jobananasan, han-ichiruki, xNightDreamerx, Anon, Luna-Dara, Anonymous** , and the **Guest** reviewers!

 **Shirayuki992** , I hope that this chapter clears up some of Ichigo's feelings. Not all has been revealed yet, but I thought it was about time to provide some insight into him. Orihime's feelings will be explored later on as well.

 **jobananasan** , that meme heavily influenced this story! Orihime's feelings will be revealed as the story progresses. Ichigo may have convinced himself he's moved on, but I hope that this chapter highlights that his bond with her is still unshakably in his heart. I feel you with the mirror part LOL. I remember jumping up in my seat when I first saw a scene like that. I think it was in Black Swan!

 **Guest** , thank you so much for sharing it!

 **Guest** , bless you for giving me the courage to contribute to it!

Thank you so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	4. Breaking Borders

When the children woke up, they insisted that their parents join them for breakfast. All the adults were happy to oblige, save for one particular woman who was convinced she was on the verge of a mental breakdown. The meal was noisy and joyous, but Rukia hardly said a word. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even feel like she was a part of what was going on anymore. Her consciousness was disconnected from her body, and any sounds she heard echoed in her mind like she was listening to the conversation from inside a vat.

She didn't want to be here right now. She wanted to go to bed and enter her dreamland once more, to finally seek the entirety of her fragmented visions. Without much avail, she tried desperately to will the visions to come back. For reasons unknown to her still, there was nothing more she wanted than to see the dream till its end. There was a piece of her soul laying dormant inside of her that she needed to awaken. She didn't understand much about the significance of hallucinations, but she knew that it wouldn't be bothering her if it wasn't somehow important.

It was frustrating to only get bits and pieces, especially when she had no idea why she was being plagued by them in the first place. And she felt so connected with them too; like they were memories. They were so vivid.

It felt more real to her than what was happening that moment. Actually, her current reality was starting to feel like a nightmare.

'Okaasan, how do you hold these?!' Ichika demanded.

Rukia sighed and reached over to her left to teach her daughter how to properly hold the exotic utensils. Chopsticks were the only tools used for eating in the Seireitei, but the human world made use of foreign silverware like forks and knives. She never remembered the Kurosaki family ever having to use them either, but Orihime liked to cook Western food like burgers and hotdogs. They were impossible to cut or pick up with wooden sticks. It was troublesome for Rukia to have politely swallow the cuisine. She always found it too rich in flavour. Even when she was younger, she greatly preferred foods with a subtle quality.

 _But I'm sure Ichigo **loves** his wife's cooking._

Shocking herself with the venom in her thoughts, Rukia jolted slightly and blinked. The hell? Where did that come from?

Rukia had always been able to admit to herself that she was somewhat perpetually resentful of the way things turned out. For a really long time, she was good at hiding it. In fact, no one could actually tell that something was bothering her. Even Ichigo thought for a while that she had gotten over his decision to marry Orihime.

Subconsciously, she stole a glance at the substitute shinigami. He was quiet, as usual. His eyes were lowered to his food and he too seemed disconnected from the conversation taking place. Once in a while, he'd turn his attention towards Kazui to smile or tussle the kid's hair playfully. Rukia's stomach twisted whenever he did that.

It wasn't like she resented his relationship with his own child. It was just that, seeing them both like that just hammered it further into her skull that he really had chosen this kind of life for himself. That he had chosen not to be with her, to have children with a different woman. She wanted to convince herself that he was a hot-blooded warrior; he couldn't be genuinely happy with such a complacent, boring life. But moments like these made it hard for her to play into her own delusions. Maybe some part of him didn't want it in the beginning, but now it was impossible to exaggerate how much he loved Kazui.

And that made her happy. She was happy for him.

It was bittersweet.

But she was still pissed as hell. On one hand, he seemed content and Rukia saw genuine moments of happiness in this surprisingly normal life of his. On the other hand, she was more than pissed off that he had chosen a life that limited her involvement in it.

Her jaw clenched as she tried to will her heart to stop pushing vengefully against her chest. A concoction of anger and longing fuelled the ferocious pounding. She could practically feel the blood shot up her head. Her inhibitions were teetering too closely to the edge. She just wanted to reach out and smack him, and yell at him, and cry about how fucked up she felt inside because of how it all turned out.

She used to be so close to this man. What was he feeling right now? What were his eyes hiding beneath those thick lashes?

 _Her body was so, so cold. She leaned happily into his chest, grateful for and content with the warmth of his arms providing her some comfort. But when she peered up at his face, she saw those ruby eyes glisten with tears beneath those thick lashes._

 _A pale hand reached up to cup his face. He kissed her fingers, not once unlocking his gaze from hers._

 _'Do you remember me?' the man asked._

'Ichigo...'

'What?'

'Huh?' Rukia gasped, knocked out of her vision. 'What did you ask me?'

'I'm asking...' Ichigo couldn't hide his irritation. 'What?'

'What... what?'

'Rukia! You said my name just now, didn't you?'

'I did?' she asked stupidly. Her palms were starting to feel clammy, the blood draining from her face. Did she?

 _'Do you remember me?' the man asked._

'Yes!'

Kazui started giggling uncontrollably and clapping his hands in delight. Ever since his birth, he had always found arguments between his father and aunt to be endlessly entertaining. Orihime grinned tensely as she wiped her offspring's cheek, which was wet from spilled orange juice. She hated it whenever her husband fought with that woman. Even though it was more awkward between them now, there was an undeniable chemistry that was highlighted in times like this.

'What's so funny?' Ichigo frowned at his child mischievously. Kazui responded by stifling his laughter with his hands, only to be tickled into submission by his father. They were the image of familial love.

Rukia wanted to go home. _Now_.

'Is your back hurting again?' Renji asked his wife.

'Huh?'

'You're kind of hunching over.'

'Oh.' she hadn't even noticed. 'Yeah, it kind of hurts.'

'For months now... We should probably get it checked. I'm sure your gigai's making it worse.'

'Eh? Rukia, you're hurting?' Orihime quipped in. 'Maybe it isn't a good idea for you to come along with us to the park then. Do you just want to rest here?'

The raven-haired woman's eyes lit up in glee. Yes, _yes_! Then she could take a nap and see more of that itching dream. 'Sure! Thank you so much for understanding.'

'Look at how happy she is.' Renji snorted. 'You lazy bum! I bet this is what you've wanted all along!'

* * *

'How dare you come all the way here just to threaten me.' Shunsui Kyoraku fronted intimidation, although inside his bones were cracking in fear. This familiar woman had appeared before him in his captain's office and he knew better than to run away from her. The wings on her back were proof enough of her power over him. Trying to elude her would only anger those sitting above him.

He knew better than to trifle with Heaven.

'This is no threat. This is a warning.'

'A _loaded_ warning.'

'A warning nonetheless. Be thankful that you've been given one.'

'I never thought you were the type waltz your pretty ass in here just to spite me. Times have really changed, huh?'

'Please don't take this personally. I'm only following orders. This is my second chance to do things right.'

'What does that even mean?'

'Please don't ask questions. I can't answer them.'

'Unbelievable!' he threw his arms up. 'I never thought I'd see you again, and now you show up here with this ominous secret agent act. Heck, I didn't even know that you were... _this_!' he gestured towards her feathery appendages.

'I wasn't. The situation has changed.'

The leader of the Gotei 13 rubbed his temples. His chest tickled with anxiety. He had a horrible premonition about all of this. He had no idea what was going on, no outline to at least give him some reassurance that this was all necessary and that everything was going to be alright. No, all he had was someone he thought was _dead_ ordering him to command all his troops to stay put amidst the upcoming mayhem.

Among some other very strange requests.

'You want me to sentence Rukia Kuchiki to exile from Soul Society.' It wasn't a question. It was a disbelieving statement. As if saying it out loud himself was going to make it feel more real to him.

'That's right.' she responded calmly. 'And you will declare her punishment publicly, as soon as possible.'

'Why? What are you planning to do to her?'

'Don't ask questions. Please.'

'Look, I'll do it because I don't have a choice. I'm not about to take you guys on. I'm aware that my army doesn't stand a snowball's chance in hell of fighting you guys. But you aren't being smart about this. I can't just label Rukia-chan a traitor without any basis for it. You don't think people are going to ask questions?'

'You're their _leader_ ; tell them that it's highly confidential information.'

'The Seireitei isn't like Heaven. My men don't blindly follow orders. Besides, you guys can see everything that happens from your damn lounge up in the sky! Don't you know Ichigo Kurosaki? Don't you think he's gonna go looking for her?'

'No, he won't. We'll make sure of it.'

'Aghhh!' Kyoraku let out a throaty groan of frustration. Even if he asked questions, she wouldn't answer them. It wasn't like he wanted to willingly go along with this plan. If he had the means to fight back, he would most definitely have done so already. But from what he gathered from Yamamoto's letters of guidance that he inherited when he was coronated the new captain-general, it was that the old man had made it abundantly clear that the Gotei 13 had an obligation to take on any and all organizations that posed a threat to the shinigami - all but one.

Of course. As soon as Ywach's darkness recedes, the harsh light of Heaven begins its blazing terror on the ground.

Kyoraku knew that there was something strange going on behind closed doors, but there was no use trying to figure it out. Eventually, it would all come to surface. Maybe he would be able to understand that it was for a greater good. After all, it was Heaven's sworn duty to protect every the real world. They couldn't possibly do harm to the realm they were meant to guard over.

'You know...' he began in an effort to brighten the mood. 'Heaven's been good to you. You look more stunning than I remember.'

'You're too kind.' she bowed. 'But no compliment will allow me to extend my time here. I need to find my sister.'

'Yep. Your soon-to-be-banished sister.'

'Don't be that way.'

'I'm not.'

A long silence ensued. There were so many topics both parties wanted to go over. She wanted to explain, he wanted to know what was going on. More than that, he wanted to know if she still had an attachment to her life in the Seireitei, if there was someone she wanted to see before leaving again. He wanted to know if he had to prepare for war, or if celestial intervention would finally bring uninterrupted peace.

'Just one question, please.' he croaked, tipping his hat downwards to hide the upper half of his face.

' _One_ question.'

'Is Ukitake with you guys up there?'

She didn't answer for a long time. There was a buzzing rigidity between them, as if a line had been crossed. There was nothing wrong with what he asked, but it brought him into great emotional distress to even gather the courage to have asked it, and it caused a profound sadness to bubble up inside of her.

'I should go.' she whispered, ignoring his inquiry.

'I understand. See you later, Hisana.'

* * *

Rukia rolled over to her side and growled. It was useless. First of all, she wasn't the least bit tired so there was no way she was going to be able to sleep. Secondly, the living room couch was extremely and uncomfortable, plus is spooked her out that she apparently left bloody _feathers_ in her wake. As if the wings didn't freak her out enough. Lastly, it was impossible to relax with her mind constantly tugging at thoughts of Ichigo.

She wanted to be wholeheartedly happy for him and get over her useless feelings towards her former combat partner. As time went on, it was getting harder and harder to tame the wild longing. She was torturing herself by replaying her fondest memories of him in a loop in her head. So lost in her recollection, she didn't notice a secondary presence enter the living room until it made direct contact with her.

'Rukia...' a masculine voice whispered as a familiar hand caressed her arm.

She froze at the uncharacteristically intimate touch. Was he seriously doing this right now? She shook her head to clear her brain. No, she was just misinterpreting things. Just like in the storage room of the grocery store. Yeah, that's it. She was just imagining it all. 'I thought you left with everyone else, Ichigo.'

'I could never leave you.'

No, she wasn't making anything up.

Before she could snap back at him, she felt a pair of lips massage her neck.

* * *

'She's been sick for _months_?!' Ichigo exclaimed incredulously.

'She's not sick.' Renji rolled his eyes. 'Her back hurts. That's pretty normal, you know. She's been under a lot of stress from the higher ups. There's a lot of pressure on her to prove her worth to the Gotei 13.'

'She should still take care of herself.'

'She _does_.'

'Obviously not well enough, if her body's reacting this way! Why haven't you been taking care of her?!'

The redhead clicked his tongue and buried his face in his hands. He hated this shit.

Of course his wife's _true_ love would be telling him off about her health while the clinician's wife was literally fifteen feet away and playing with the children.

The ridiculousness of it all!

Every time he and his wife would visit the human world, Ichigo and Rukia would always be so tense with each other that it was actually embarrassing to watch them. It was more the doctor's fault - he had an invisible wall whenever he interacted with the woman who changed his world that kept her at arm's length at all times. Like he was afraid that getting too close to her would flip a switch and he'd decide that he'd drop everything and pursue her. He didn't want to fall too far in love with her. Love was explosive, dynamic, and unpredictable. And Ichigo knew that he might not be able to control himself around her given the opportunity.

Still, Renji took comfort in the fact that his friend was far too prided on his code of honour to touch another man's wife, especially when he has his own family to cherish. It was just a little disconcerting to observe that Ichigo would go the extra mile to keep his feelings for Rukia at bay. For example, by being a complete jerk to her. He would ignore her, purposely pick fights with her, and show a general apathy towards her wellbeing. Then the microsecond Rukia turns her back, berates Renji for being an "irresponsible husband," "inconsiderate man," "unsupportive lover," blabla, etcetera.

Damn it! It was _so_ condescending!

Especially considering Rukia was his wife, not Ichigo's!

But the vice captain just allowed his longtime comrade to let it all out. He knew it was therapeutic for the hybrid soul.

'You know, I have some stuff at the clinic that might help relieve some of her pain.' Ichigo offered, standing up to leave.

'Fool! What good will your medicine be once we return to our soul forms?'

'Try to take it with you. Or something. I don't know! But if she's been in pain for months, don't you think it's a little cruel to just let her suffer?'

'She's not suffering.' he muttered. 'She doesn't like it when people interfere with her. She gets pissy when I ask how she's doing.'

'You know how she is. Don't pay attention to it. She'll respond to your concern eventually.'

Renji narrowed his eyes. _Only to you..._

* * *

'I-Ichigo...!' Rukia breathed as the shapely lips kissed and sucked at her neck. Her hands snapped upwards to try and push him off, but strong hands grabbed her wrists and held them at her sides. She struggled to break free of his grasp, but it was futile. 'You asshole! What the hell are you doing?!'

'Rukia...'

'Ngh!' she squeaked as he traveled lower, sucking at her collarbone. Heat pooled between her legs and tears of fulfilment swelled up in her glassy orbs. This was wrong. So, so _wrong_. But she felt within herself that it was _right_. It was like she had felt his body on hers before, doing these things to her, and making her feel _loved_ for the first time. His scent was driving her mad with desire, his hot skin melting her frosty exterior surrounding both her body and heart. Despite these emotions, she thrashed beneath him, resisting every tempting move he made. 'Ichigo...! Stop, you're such a... grr! Stop! _Stop_!'

'Never leave me, Rukia.'

Her eyebrow twitched. _Hmm_. Who left who, exactly? Had he seriously forgotten?

Gathering all her strength, she whipped around to tell him off. He was _not_ going to put the onus of their situation on her. He was _not_ going to coax her into cheating on her own fucking husband! It was his damn fault all this happened!

Who she saw instead startled her.

'My sweet Queen.' the man with the red eyes and black hair leaned in for a kiss.

* * *

'Rukia!' Ichigo called out as he keyed the lock to his house. He excused himself from the outing with the children so that he could attend to the shinigami's wellness. There was just no way he could enjoy the excursion with that petite freak looming at the back of his mind. He sighed. Some things never changed. He still worried about her all the time. 'Rukia!' he called again when he received no answer.

Kicking his shoes off, he surveyed the living room quickly. He missed her at first. But when he gave the area another quick scan, he saw her pale body draped on the sofa. He guessed that she was way too deep in her slumber to acknowledge him.

He walked over to her with the intention of waking her up. Kneeling down in front of her so that his face was on the same level as hers, he allowed himself a selfish moment to take in her peaceful form. His chest stung. She really was beautiful. She had the most immaculate flesh and the darkest features. She was like the moon against a completely starless evening.

He chuckled humourlessly. To think that she could still take his breath away a decade later. Even though he had a stunning wife who everyone thought was a goddess.

Rukia was the only goddess he recognized.

And he was human. Humans and heavenly entities... don't mix.

He cleared his throat loudly. No response. He did it again. Still no response. He shook her once, twice. Absolutely nothing. Now he was getting angry. 'Rukia! Hey!' he screamed, jolting slightly and bumping his foot into a plastic container on the floor.

He glanced at it, squinting to try and read the label. Realizing it was useless to rely on his waning eyesight, he picked up the bottle and examined it. After a few seconds, his eyes widened to the size of saucers. He rattled the case, his stomach somersaulting when it sounded emptier than it should have been. His fingers fumbled with the lid, and his nervousness was skyrocketing to untold proportions when he saw that a good fourth of the contents were missing.

Sleeping pills.

That stupid bitch took sleeping pills.

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you so much to everyone supporting this story! It really couldn't happen without al of you.

 **NieveDrop** has been so kind as to Beta the historical part of the plot. That is, the IchiRuki relationship from their first lives. It's been a really difficult process, but **NieveDrop** has been really patient with me. Trust me, I can be a handful! We're still tweaking a lot of things, but hopefully you guys end up liking the end product. We are both doing our best to stay true to their characterizations.

The past will begin unraveling next chapter.

Thank you to **achalida, Luna-Dara, Sooo, Shirayuki992, great stories, anon, jobananasan, NieveDrop, Kuchiki24,** and all the **Guest** reviewers!

 **Guest** , yes they will be romantically involved!

 **Guest,** I don't trust myself to give you a set number of chapters!

 **Sooo** , I have no interest in Ichigo harem stories. Also, I find it unjustly judgemental for people to think that they know something about an author from what they write about. Just because I don't write about cheating plot doesn't place me morally above someone who does.

 **Shirayuki992** , trust me I also thought that he was going to end up at Soul Society! I feel that Kubo wanted Ichigo to be the ultimate power-up without actually exploring the implications of his existence.

 **great stories** , Rukia means she never felt that connection no matter what they did. But they never went all the way!

 **jobananasan,** I think what I wanted to show more was his exhaustion with that kind of life, constantly fighting. Perhaps that was why he craved normalcy again? Quite frankly, I struggled to find a reason as to why he would go the way he did!

Thanks so much, everyone! I can't wait to hear your thoughts!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	5. The King's Heaven

The man locked his ruby eyes with her sapphires as he leaned in for a kiss.

Every needy fibre in Rukia's body suddenly ached for him. Her heart was pounding pleasantly uncontrollably, her lips were parting subconsciously, and her skin was scorching her bones. She wanted to feel him on her. She wanted this kiss, she wanted to be intimate with him. Although starting to wane, the logical part of her brain wondered why she felt this way towards a supposed stranger.

Upon closer inspection of his features, she made the disturbing observation that the structure of this man's facial features were identical to Ichigo.

'Agh!' she shrieked, throwing her head back and shutting her eyes. An extremely sharp pain shot up her spine, reverberating towards her shoulder blades. Her wrists were still pinned by him at her sides, but she desperately needed an outlet for the insurmountable agony she was experiencing. So she angled her nails to scratch the skin on the top of his hands, knowing that she was drawing blood but not caring about anything except for the scorching heat burning her back.

'Rukia...'

'Help me!' she screamed at the top of her lungs, hoping that someone outside the house could hear her. She didn't even care who. She didn't even think about how they would get in - she'd smash the window open if she had to! The only goal in her mind was to seek an end to this hellish torture. Never before had she felt pain like this - no slash, punch, or kick could ever compare to the demon trying to claw its way out of her body. 'Help me, please!'

'Why?'

She screeched nonsensically, a frustrated reply to his nonchalance. Why? _Why_? Because she was about to die, _that's_ why! And if that wasn't the case, she _wished_ that she was about to die. The pain was growing exponentially worse with time, every fraction of a second feeling like centuries of having countless knives lodging themselves at her back.

'Help... me...!' she repeated brokenly, sobbing dryly. It was a struggle to speak. She was blinking furiously to fight back tears. She had never cried over a physical injury before, and she wasn't about to start now - especially not in front of a stranger who had been haunting her dreams.

'Why?'

'It... _hurts..._! Please, please help!'

'It's supposed to hurt. You're remembering.'

 _'Help_ me!' she was begging, but he didn't seem very concerned. 'Please!'

'Rukia.' He let go of her wrists to cup her face, and somehow that made her a little calmer. The longing she felt earlier returned when he leaned in, his breath hot on her lips. He hushed her comfortingly as he brushed away a tear that had escaped down her cheek. More tears fell as the familiar scent of the man she loved most permeated her senses. She was now crying freely, wondering why this was happening. It was just too

'Ichigo.' she whispered without thinking.

'Yes.' ruby eyes glittered in delight. 'You're remembering now.'

She didn't respond. After all, she couldn't even focus. She could feel herself slipping in and out of consciousness, the dulling pain still too great for her to bear if she remained awake. A welcome sleepiness swept over her and she succumbed to it, her breathing slowing and her body finally relaxing

'Remember me, Rukia. Remember us.'

Before she could fully lose her grip on reality, his lips enveloped hers.

* * *

'Nee-san! Nee-san!' Kon chanted uselessly with comical tears in his eyes. 'Nee-san!'

'Shut up.' Ichigo snapped, trying to get a decent read on Rukia's blood pressure. He had carried her into the clinic area of the Kurosaki house, laying her down on a bed and wrapping the velcro of the blood pressure machine around her. Interpreting the results as satisfactory, he sighed in relief before detaching her from the machine. He had already taken her pulse and checked her breathing, so he knew that she would fine.

It didn't meant that he wasn't worried as hell.

He lifted her into an inclined sitting position, supporting her back by placing two pillows beneath it. Her head tilted to the side, and he took the opportunity to check her skin for signs of paling and her lips for any bluish discolouration. He nodded to himself when he found that no, there were no urgent signs that he needed to panic. Even though she already gave him a mini heart attack.

He stared at her motionless form, the slow rising and falling of her chest giving him some reassurance. An arm was still bandaged from the incident in the grocery store. The gauze was reddening, evidence that she still bled for a decent amount of time after being treated. Her expression wasn't at all peaceful; her eyebrows were furrowed and she looked a little sad. Was she having a bad dream? Was she in pain from the pills?

He hated seeing her like this.

He never wanted her to suffer. He always wanted to protect her.

'Why, Rukia?' he asked, though he knew she couldn't hear him. Despite being fully aware that her hung head wasn't supposed to be a problem, it still felt odd for him to see her like that. He supported her chin with his palm, angling her face so that it was raised proudly rather than the shy position it was in a while ago. 'That suits you better.' he smiled, his thumb brushing against her cheek subconsciously. The smooth texture of her skin brought him back to his senses, and he stopped his affectionate caressing abruptly. However, he refused to withdraw his palm from under her chin.

His chest tightened painfully.

'She was trying to sleep.' Kon started explaining. 'She was twisting and turning on the couch and she just couldn't sleep at all!'

'She wanted to sleep? But she just woke up a couple hours ago.'

'But that's what I saw! She couldn't sleep, so I told her you take those pills sometimes!'

'You what?!' Ichigo demanded, turning around to face the stuffed animal. 'Kon, you fucking idiot!' the doctor was livid. Not only was that totally irresponsible of his the little cretin, but his semi-nightly ritual was also supposed to be a secret. Who knew that Kon had seen him taking those pills?

Ichigo tried to tell himself it was no big deal. He was found out, so what? It wasn't a big deal. People take pills to sleep, that was fine. That was why the medication was produced in the first place. It was normal for people to have trouble sleeping. There was no reason for him to find shame in that.

It was just hard sometimes.

To dream about Rukia and wake up to Orihime.

'Kon, this is your damn fault! All damage incurred by shinigami while they're inside a gigai will be sustained when they return to their soul forms!'

'B-But you're not helping her at all! Why are you taking her vitals?! Shouldn't she be puking the pills out?!'

'She could.' Ichigo conceded, his gaze returning to the petite captain. 'But she could also choke on her own vomit. That would be worse.'

'Is... Is she going to d-die?'

'No.' he mumbled, softening his gaze. 'I just hate seeing her like this.'

Seeing her so... harmed. He wanted to shield from everything and anything that could possibly hurt her. He felt powerless, useless. He couldn't safeguard the one person who meant the most to him; the one who gave him power, who changed his world. Even though he knew that she would be alright, just the sight of her weakened state was triggering so many emotions inside of him.

Waiting for her wake up was agonizing. He would do anything to make her better that very instant.

Without a second thought, he took her into his arms. She looked so cold and he wanted to warm her. Although she was in an artificial body, she felt as real to him as his own wife. His hands were shaking from the pang of reality hitting him, that he married a woman who could never hold a candle to Rukia in his life. He thought that his former partner and he could be friends, but it was hurting both of them more. Now she was in dire condition and he never saw it coming. She was acting so strangely lately, and he turned his back to her instead of trying to come to her aid.

Why? Because Orihime would nag at him again with her incessant jealousy?

It used to be so hard to keep Rukia at arm's length. There were times when he seriously considered telling her how he felt when Orihime wasn't around. But for what? For closure? They already had that. He essentially gave it to himself when he decided to distance himself from her so many years ago. And he wasn't that kind of guy, especially now that he had a child who he loved very much. So he buried his feelings away and adopted the motto that his thoughts didn't mean anything so long as he never acted on it.

And then Rukia had a daughter with Renji.

That was it. Ichigo resented her for a long time after that.

But mostly, he was just really sad. He wanted to turn back time and never let her go. Even if was doomed and would never have worked out, he would never have let her go. Because this was just torture; being around a woman who holds all of your heart and soul but never being able to openly dedicate yourself to her.

 _'Ichigo.' a woman with silvery white hair and frosty blue eyes looked up at him. 'Don't be sad.'_

'Shit.' Ichigo keeled over with Rukia still in his arms. He jerked forward as if he had just been struck by lightning. His chest was tightening again, like it was being crushed by a skyscraper sitting on top of it. His eyelids were unusually heavy and a course of adrenaline pumped through his system. He was shaking all over, but he wouldn't lose his grip on the smaller body he was holding onto.

That woman again.

That woman, who had been surfacing in his dreams for months now. Now she was bothering him in random visions during waking hours? It was mortifying. He couldn't get her out of his head, no matter how much he tried. And he felt so attached to her as well, her image so vivid in his mind that she may as well have been in front of him, close enough that he could reach out and touch her.

It was a strange phenomena that he couldn't explain, but his gut tugged at a revelation he had from the very beginning.

That woman was Rukia.

* * *

 **It's time we remember _us_.**

* * *

When Rukia woke up again, it felt like she had been asleep for ten lifetimes. Her eyes fluttered open lazily and her muscles were rigid. She took a deep breath in and sat up on the oversized bed in the middle of her private chambers, stretching her arms above her head as her wings paralleled her limbs' movements.

'Tired?'

At the sound of another person's voice, she crossed her arms defensively. Her feathery appendages twirled and disappeared into thin air. Since her attachments were really just a manifestation of her reiatsu that could fuse with her skeleton, they could appear and disappear at her control. Besides, it was probably wiser for her to hide them.

Considering _he_ didn't have them.

The king of this nation sat in front of her with a worried frown. His eyes were bloody red, a shade she never knew humans could inherit. The vibrant hue was highlighted by the frame of dark bangs on his forehead. His long, jet-black hair cascaded down to the floor and she wondered if she should advise him to get a hair cut. That made her laugh internally. Imagine what his reaction would be if she actually did. It would be hilarious! He was a hot-headed one, this man.

'A little.' she admitted, twirling a silver lock around her finger. 'I think we exhausted ourselves.'

Just hours ago, they had a horrible fight. It wasn't one of their usual slapstick episodes - it was real, angry, in-your-face arguing. Normally, she would have retained her composure, as she had been trained to be. But it seemed as if she had stayed in this world - by his side - for far too long. She was already emotionally invested in him and there was no way she could be objective about her "assignment" on Earth.

Despite knowing that she was out of bounds when they fought, she still allowed herself the rare luxury of vocalizing her hurt. She needed that moment of unadulterated rage to stay sane. Even though she didn't really believe in what she was telling him, even though it pained her to say those things - it had to be done, because that was why she was sent to him in the first place.

Because even though a heart she never knew she possessed was breaking into a million pieces, she had a duty to fulfil.

'I'm not going to marry her.' Ichigo announced sternly.

'You _will_.' she insisted, pointing a finger at him as she stepped off the mattress and onto the floor. 'Do you have any idea how lucky you are?'

'Lucky?'

'You could end this war if you accept the proposal of the princess of the neighbouring land. You could finally give your people the peace they deserve, the peace _you've_ been praying for!'

'Peace brought about by dishonesty.' he stood as well, walking towards her with disbelief shining in his eyes. 'I would be lying if I said I loved her in front of our people, in front of the altar, in front of _God_.'

'You'll learn to love her.'

'I can't.' he shook his head and cupped her face. 'I can't look at any other woman anymore.'

'Fool!' she blushed madly. 'I told you that we can't.'

'I can't stop myself anymore.' he whispered, bending down so that his face was hovering intimately close to hers. 'I can't convince myself that I don't love you.'

'Ichigo... Please...' her heart was threatening to punch through her chest. She didn't know if she could control herself at this point. 'I can't...'

'Open your mouth.' he commanded huskily, tracing the contours of her lips with his fingers as his scarlet eyes glazed at her with an almost animalistic desire. 'Open it for me.'

She shook her head, averting her eyes away from him. Her heart was beating unnaturally fast and loud, echoing deafeningly in her eardrums. A tight heat formed in her abdomen, but she fought every desperate urge to respond to his touch.

'Rukia...' he began in a low voice. His lips brushed against hers, tempting her. She refused to part her trembling lips, but didn't pull away from him. The seductively spicy scent of his cologne made her dizzy with desire, and she could feel his lust as his hot breath fanned her face. 'If you don't want me, I'll back off. But... I know that you feel for me what I feel for you.'

Why?

Why did she have to fall for this man?

Why was her heart beating so fast when she wasn't even supposed to have a human soul?

She had so many questions, and no answers. But the one she knew, was that she had formed a bond with the King that could never be broken no matter how much she tried to sever it herself. Transcending worlds and divine law, this happened.

 _They_ happened.

She shut her eyes and parted her lips. His tongue wasted no time in snaking into her crevice, as if he were worried that she would change her mind. A throaty moan left her, encouraging him to seal her lips in his. He was surprisingly gentle, his tongue massaging hers with tantalizingly slow movements. She leaned into the kiss, whimpering and breathing sharply as his hands fumbled with her white garments. Once undone, he pulled them down with all the neediness of a starved man.

Instinctively, she pulled away and crossed her arms over herself, suddenly embarrassed with their current predicament. She peered up at him to see what he was doing and immediately regretted it. His gaping mouth and wide eyes were just adding to her humiliation. They stayed that way for no more than a second until he finally snapped out of his stupor with a hard swallow. Gently but firmly, he took her by the arm and captured her lips in another wanton kiss. This time, she didn't hesitate to play her part. She moaned into the kiss and in his excitement for her participation, he lifted her up to straddle his waist. Her hands came up to his chest for support, and she noted something peculiar.

'Ichigo... Your heart is beating really fast.'

'I know.' he admitted sheepishly, carrying her over to the bed and laying her down onto the white sheets.

'Are you regretting this?'

'It's not that.'

'What is it then?'

'It's just... I don't get to see this much of you all at once.' he breathed, sitting upright so that he could see her naked form. If she thought his heartbeat was quick a while ago, it was absolutely thundering against his chest now.

This was the woman he loved. The woman from the skies of Heaven; his angel, his moon, his ray of light. She was here, in the flesh, and only in her flesh. He ran his fingers through the impossibly white skin that seemed to glow amidst the darkness. He wanted her so badly. But never in his wildest fantasies did he ever believe that he could actually have her.

'You really are from Heaven.' he murmured, red eyes turning glassy with happy tears that would not fall. 'You're too beautiful to be an ordinary woman.'

And with that, he began undoing the bandages around his body that served as his armour. She watched in fascination as inch by inch, he revealed himself to her. The scorching tightness she felt between her legs was aching more and more by the second, and her mouth was starting to feel unbearably dry without the lusty dance of their tongues. Trying to alleviate some of her thirst for him, she raised a finger to bite down on it. The gesture excited him more, and his undressing had turned brisk and clumsy.

When he finally stood before her in all that he was, she swear that she had become so hot he could the heat radiating from her body. He really was a powerful man, boasting large but lean muscles that he had carved out through years of toiling on the battlefield alongside his army. His tan skin looked warm and inviting, the blackest hair sticking to his damp skin as those ruby eyes examined her as if he were getting ready to devour her.

'You've made my prayers come true.' he murmured into her ear as he lay on top of her. He gasped as she arched her body up against him, wanting to feel every ripple of his strength as he moved.

'You prayed for strength.' she clarified. 'And peace.'

'You _are_ my strength, and I'm not at peace without you.'

'Ichigo.' she begged, her eyes pooling with tears from his kind words. 'Don't toy with me.'

'I would never.' he reassured her, caressing the soft skin of her stomach. Sensing that she was still tense, he frowned and cupped her face lovingly to try and soothe her. She leaned into his palm and kissed his fingers before taking two of them into her mouth. He bit his lip and watched her work on his digits, his arousal turning his member painfully erect. He withdrew his fingers and kissed her deeply, wrapping his arms around her in a strong embrace. She inhaled his clean, masculine scent, all her insecurities suddenly disappearing. She didn't know what to do, but she understood from her observations up in Heaven that this was a sacred ritual between two mortal entities. Would it be alright for her to partake in it, just once? 'Rukia.'

'I trust you.' she planted a chaste kiss on his lips. He nodded and spread her thighs with his hands. He looked at her again as it ask if it really was fine, and her pretty smile gave him all the consent he needed.

He felt light-headed as her warmth welcomed him inside of her. He could hear her moaning at the penetration, pushing herself against him to bury him deeper inside of her. His fingers dug into her hips, surprised by her boldness. But he wasn't ready to move, not when electricity ran up his back, making him stiff with the shocking new sensation.

She was so _tight_ , so hot, wet, and tight. His whole body was humming with satisfaction by just the reality that he was inside of her, the woman he loved more than anything in the world. The one he wanted to protect and cherish for all eternity. She changed his world and had effectively _become_ it. Was that why this felt so different? Was that why he almost wanted to cry with happiness? He had indulged in bodily pleasures before, but none of his partners could ever provoke such a reaction from him. And the wetness; she was _so_ wet for him. She was squeezing him with a stubborn grip, her juices coating his cock lewdly. It took all he could not to fuck her mercilessly then and there.

He wanted to make this last.

'My Queen...' he groaned, pulling back slowly so that she could feel all of him moving inside of her. Her body jerked in what he perceived to be pain. Alarmed, he stopped what he was doing and looked down at where they connected.

His stomach sank in guilt.

But his heart swelled with pride.

She could always tell what he was thinking. And she knew, at that moment, that he was victorious. She knew that in his mind, he was savouring every second inside of her so much more now that he was equipped with the knowledge that he was the only one who had ever been inside of her.

Her blood stained him, proof of her broken virginity. Her thighs shook in shock, and he caressed them with his hands to try and soothe her. Ruby eyes darted to her watering blue orbs. A sting of pain pierced him when he saw her like that. Instinctively, he removed a hand from her leg and cupped her face, wiping a fallen tear away with his thumb. 'Why?'

She didn't respond. Her lips quivered and tears seeped from her oceanic eyes.

'You're shaking, my love.' he started to pull out of her, but she stopped him by crossing her legs behind his waist.

'Am I really your love?'

'Yes.'

'No one will approve of that, not my people or yours.' she choked towards the end, turning her head to the side so that he couldn't see the suffering on her face. 'This wasn't supposed to happen. We weren't supposed to be like this.'

 _I don't care,_ he thought with conviction, _Now that I've met you, I can't live without you._

'I can't be your Queen.' she faced him again with sad eyes. 'I'm not even a princess.' she joked half-heartedly.

'You're the Queen...' he moaned, trailing kisses down her neck. 'No matter what anyone says.'

He rode her slowly, both of them moaning and whimpering what couldn't be said with words.

She yelped when he started a vigorous rhythm, his hips bucking wildly into her. His arms stiffened around her, his chest pressing against her as if trying to imprint every curve of her body on his. She couldn't hold back a moan when he his mouth breathed hotly into her ear, every intoxicating groan of his loud and clear in her mind.

'I love you.'

His words were still ringing in her ears when they were both spent, Ichigo cradling her in his arms as he fell into a much-needed slumber. She stared wide-eyed at the ceiling, still unable to comprehend what was happening. She had overstepped a line. She messed up. She should have known better. If she didn't fix this, they'd take her away forcibly with possible repercussions on her and the human world.

 _'I love you.'_

She closed her eyes and let the silent tears fall.

She should have known better.

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you so much to everyone supporting this story! All the work **NieveDrop** and I are putting in is all for you! Thank you for your heartwarming reception.

The last line break brings us back to the first lifetime Ichigo and Rukia shared. I started in the middle of their history as I don't want to reveal everything just yet. The confidentiality of the missing pieces will become important later on.

Thank you to **Kasai to Kasumi, jobananasan, Shirayuki992, ArtanisRose, blissbeat, achalida, anon, Kuchiki24, NieveDrop,** and the **Guest** reviewers!

 **Shirayuki992** , unfortunately I can't answer a lot of your questions without spoiling it! I hope to enjoy your continued support and interest until this story's conclusion. Ichigo planned a long time ago not to pursue her, which is why he actively tries to sabotage their relationship at this point. I'm playing up on his insecurities from the very first arc, where he wonders whether he should bother saving Rukia if that was where she was meant to be anyway. Yes, RenRuki and IchiHime are very awkward for me to write. I literally spend a good ten minutes staring blankly at the screen, wondering how I can go about it.

 **achalida** , everything will be revealed in time!

 **anon** , I hope this chapter clears up some questions! The conclusion of last chapter was meant to highlight more that Rukia was losing her grip on reality as her memories are bleeding onto her current lifetime, considering she doesn't remember taking the pills.

 **Kuchiki24,** she took them before the dream sequence!

Thank you so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	6. The Angel's Hell

**A/N** : Before you start reading, I would like to preface this chapter! Last chapter, the flashback was experienced by both Ichigo and Rukia. The flashback in this chapter is Rukia's vision only. Ichigo has yet to remember it. Thanks so much for your interest in this story and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

* * *

Rukia's eyelids fluttered open. The harsh sunlight came in through the chamber's large windows, but she didn't even have to squint to be comfortable with the lighting. She was used to this brightness. If anything, it actually made her nostalgic. She had been in this human realm for a few months now. Truthfully, she was missing her home amongst the stars. The light shone the most intensely up there.

She searched the room for the king, finding him seated right by her bedside on a wooden chair with intricate carvings. At first, she panicked and scrambled to hide her naked form with the bedsheets. Then she realized that he wasn't paying attention to her.

He was preoccupied. His head was bowed down and his fingers were intertwined so that his hands were in a prayer position. He was mumbling silent words. She had seen him do this before - he was praying.

She took the moment to admire his handsome face. Never before had a man struck her as so stunning. And she had been examining humans for a long time now. It was every celestial entity's duty to check up on the human world once in a while. Heavenly beings were not responsible for human beings, but socio-cultural development has encouraged the people of this world to glorify Heaven. The astral spirits above thought it only just that they reciprocate that idealism by heeding the prayers sent to them.

'What were you praying for?' she asked when he opened his eyes, a sign that he was finished with his meditation. 'What were you bothering my world about this time?'

'I wasn't asking for anything.'

'Then what were you doing?'

'I was giving thanks.' he explained, walking over and kneeling in front of the bed so that they were face-to-face on the same level.

'For what?'

'For the most precious gift that you are to me.' he sealed her lips in a kiss, his hands cupping her face ever so lightly.

Forgetting all her inhibitions, she participated in their romantic dance. Elation overtook her as their tongues intertwined. She had never felt so happy in her life. She never knew how powerful emotions could be. She had always been headstrong, her duties taking precedence over anything else. But now here she was, seduced by the sweet words of a human man as he secured her in his arms. And she had never felt more complete or confident in all her years of existence.

Last night, as she lay staring wide-eyed at the ceiling, she swore that would be the only time she lowered her guard. It was a stupid vow to make. It turned out that she couldn't resist his charm. Nothing could compare to the love between them, to the electricity magnetizing their bodies together like they were made to be stuck to one another.

'I love you.' he whispered against her lips. She gazed at him through half-lidded eyes, her sapphire orbs glistening with longing she never knew she could feel. 'You complete me.' he continued, brushing against her bottom lip with his thumb before pulling it slightly downwards to open her mouth a bit. He dove in again for another open-mouthed kiss. She was perfectly content allowing him to have his way with her, completely trusting that he would not take advantage of her. True to his character, his touch never strayed from her face and he remained fixated on tasting more of her flavour as he groaned out flirtatiously honest confessions. 'I can't keep up with the speed of the world without you in it.'

His climbs onto the bed so that he's on his fours on top of her. She feels a happy heat radiate from her body, completely content to be engulfed by his strong weight. His hot fingers graze her cheeks before traveling down her neck to hover by her bare shoulders. She was covered by the sheets from her collarbone down, but even such little exposure made him burn with a desire only she could put out. His scarlet eyes intensified, his breathing turning ragged as he thought about last night and how he took her.

His moon, his ray of light.

She was his, now and forevermore.

'I love you.'

'Ichigo...!' she whimpered as he kissed the curve of her neck. She wouldn't say it back. No matter what, she wouldn't say it back. If she did, then she'd have lost everything to him. Love; such a needless emotion was just so troublesome. Persuading herself that it was only out of curiosity, she only allowed herself that experience for just last night. When their limbs entangled and their souls mixed so that they melted into just one single light. She was so happy that she actually entertained the idea of staying in this realm so that she could be by his side.

Preposterous. She would be too human, unbecoming of the creature that she was.

 _Don't forget. Don't forget who you are and why you're here. Don't lose sight of what you have to do._

 _Don't... Feel this way._

'Ichigo...!'

 _Have I become too attached to this world?_

'Will you marry me, Rukia?'

 _And to this man?_

...

The entirety of Heaven was cloaked in white, pure and unstained. The ground, the sky, all of its surroundings were blanked out in the clarity of that singular colour. It was simple and clean. That aesthetic used to bring Rukia great comfort during her most challenging times in her training as a celestial maiden. Yet for some reason, the whiteness brought a sickening feeling of emptiness that carved a jagged wound in her heart.

It had been a month since Rukia left the human world and returned to Heaven. Since her arrival back to her homeland, she tried desperately to stop thinking about the human man who had captured her heart. Her efforts were futile. She felt out of place in her own world, unable to feel whole again without the person who had effectively become her other half without her even realizing it. It wasn't the intimacy or the strange experience of living amongst mortals that she missed - it was _him_.

And now that their paths crossed, she couldn't stop herself from feeling so human. She thought that once she parted ways with him that she would return to her compliant state of mind, equipped with a passionate dedication to her function as a celestial agent. Her sense of duty had always come first, up to now. Even though she had known for him only a few short months, the deepest depths of her heart opened up to him and learned to trust him.

Every fibre of her body ached for him.

Her neediness was starting to paralyze her.

She was slumped over an icy hill, the grass beneath her prettily frosty in its colourlessness. Despite its appearance, Heaven wasn't really cold. The chilliness she was experiencing was brought about by her own fatigue that resulted from her loneliness.

Even though she wasn't alone. Even though her family and friends were all here.

It still felt lonely.

It's always lonely when the one you love isn't by your side.

'Rukia.' Hisana's called as she glided to her sister's side.

Despite being older and wiser, Hisana was of a lower rank than her sister in the heavenly hierarchy. She had failed to develop the silvery sheen on her body that was a sign of entities of a higher position, and her reiatsu wasn't strong enough to fuse with her skeleton. Therefore, she was unable to produce wings. She had a much more tamed appearance than her sister, retaining the black hair and blue eyes that they both displayed when they were children. As Rukia aged, her aesthetic changed.

It was a sign that she was gifted. The council was delighted to watch her grow up into a fine instrument of the divine. She was full of promise.

But now...

'Rukia.' Hisana repeated with the same honey in her tone.

Rukia remained motionless, not even turning to acknowledge her sister out of respect. She feared that if she moved a single inch, her limbs would fall and her heart would finally give out. She felt like there was something inside of her trying to split her apart from the inside out. She could no longer breath without every inhale feeling like a hunk of ice was being shoved into her lungs. She felt like her bones were disintegrating and her skin was melting. Her throat was dry even though she shouldn't ever experience thirst.

She felt like she was dying.

Today, the pain was simply too great. Perhaps it really would break her.

'You've been like this ever since you came back!' Hisana chirped. It was always a wonder why Rukia was so unlike herself since her arrival from the human world. At first, the elder of the two genuinely believed that it was because she was spent from her trip. But it had been too long now to use that excuse, and the reality of it was that there was something even more off about Rukia.

Her little sister had returned with an unspecified injury that rendered her unable to sit or walk properly. She always needed to lay down, and would complain about a dull pain in her abdomen. Apart from the physical abnormalities, Rukia had also become withdrawn from everybody she once knew so well. The sisters were always a close pair. They would tell each other everything.

But this one thing was still a mystery to Hisana.

Whenever Hisana tried to gain some understanding of Rukia's life in the human world, she would only be given random retellings of instances that Rukia thought were worth recollecting. While certainly engaging, those stories never struck Hisana as having any coded meaning or providing any insight pertaining to her sister's uncharacteristically gloomy disposition.

However, one detail did in fact send a jolt of anxious adrenaline through Hisana's brain once she figured it out; all Rukia's stories consistently mentioned the king.

She thought it would be wise to consult Rukia's superior, the man in charge of her training and overseeing her first mission in the mortal realm. If anyone would have answers, it would be him. But when Hisana approached him, he simply told her that it would take some time for Rukia to recover from her "trauma" and that it would be best if she probably never returns to the human world - at least for the duration that the king she was assigned to guide was alive.

 _'I don't understand.' Hisana pouted involuntarily. 'Why won't you tell me what happened down there?'_

 _'It's best if you don't know.' Sousuke Aizen flipped his hand at her dismissively. 'Why would you bother yourself with someone else's business?'_

 _'She's my sister! And she's been acting so...'_

 _'So...?'_

 _'Odd.' she blurted for lack of better wording._

 _'Well she **did** just spend quite some time fully immersed with the humans.'_

 _'It's more than that. She's changed, somehow.'_

 _'She has indeed. Sending her to the human world was... a miscalculation on the Council's part.'_

 _'What do you mean by that?'_

 _'It seems as though some unforeseen circumstances have emerged as a result of her actions there. Thank goodness she decided to come back of her own free will. When I learned of the things she had done... I was shocked, to say the least.'_

 _'Forgive my impudence...' she muttered cautiously. 'But you're giving me more questions than answers.'_

 _'All you need to know is that under any circumstances, Rukia must not return to the human world. You now see what an effect it has had on her... If she returns, her condition will only worsen. And that's not something you want, now is it?'_

 _'No, sir.'_

Hisana just wanted to know what went on so that she could help. But Rukia was always a stubborn one.

Nevertheless, she had learned from experience that if she approached her younger sister with suspicion or aggression that the older sibling would only be met with hostility. Rukia had always been a delicate soul. She had to approached in such a way that didn't make her feel like she was being backed to a corner.

'Rukia, won't you tell me what's wrong?' she asked sweetly, hugging her sister protectively. 'I've been so worried about you, my dear.'

'I'm sorry, Nee-sama.' she responded absent-mindedly. She wriggled herself free of her sister's grasp, not wanting to be touched. Every loving sensation of another person's skin on hers just reminded her of _him_. 'I'm just... Tired, maybe.'

The same excuse.

'Tired of what? Are humans that exhausting?' she joked.

Rukia smiled sadly. Exhausting, indeed. She thought of all those times Ichigo argued with her to no end, how he always just had something to say even though he knew he was wrong. Thinking about it now, maybe he was just relieved to find someone to talk to that wasn't trying to control him or be condescending. Maybe he was just glad that someone saw him as a person, and not as a king of a large nation. 'They can be.'

'And what is that supposed to mean?' Hisana caught a glimpse of that suspicious smile. It was an interesting expression, one that she had never seen before. It was happiness and nostalgia with a bit of remorse and a whole lot of desire.

It made Hisana's stomach flip sickeningly. She had an ominous premonition about all this.

'Rukia, why do you still watch over the king? Isn't your mission over?'

'Umm...' Rukia narrowed her eyes in contemplation. 'I just... I wonder how he's doing.'

 _You what?_

'I'm... sure he thinks about you too.' Hisana replied awkwardly, a little taken aback that her sister really had become so invested in this man.

The unsolved mysteries were just piling up. Rukia always had trouble making friends, even as a young child. She was often perceived to be rash and brutally honest, which were traits that were misunderstood by most of Heaven's demure population. From what she heard of the humans, they were even more judgemental. How could it be possible for Rukia to create a meaningful bond with someone down there, when she found it challenging enough to do so up here?

'I doubt that.' Rukia mumbled, her eyes glassy. 'I took his memories.'

'Why would you do such a thing?'

'It needed to be done.'

'What do you mean?'

'My assignment was to see to it that peace returns to that war-ridden land. The easiest way to achieve that would be to loosen the tensions between his country and the other one. That foreign nation has a princess who is absolutely smitten with the king I was assisting. Initially, he refused to marry her. But without his memories, I'm sure he will resolve to seal their partnership in matrimony.'

'Without all his memories? Would he even remember how to run a kingdom?'

'I didn't take away _all_ his memories.'

Hisana waited for Rukia to continue, but soon realized that her younger sister had no intention of completing the thought. Afraid of the answers, but too close to the truth to back down now, she asked nervously, 'Which ones did you take away then?'

Rukia turned her head away and immediately Hisana knew she had said more than what she was comfortable sharing. But Hisana wasn't going to leave it at that. It was astounding enough that Rukia dare physically tamper with a human's cognitive abilities. Especially since she was never one to take unnecessary risks. There had to be a reason for it.

But would that reason reveal something _ugly_?

'Rukia, what did you make him forget?' Hisana shook her sister lightly. She was sure that she was coming across as rude, but she didn't care. 'Rukia?'

Nothing.

Then, a single teardrop crashed onto Rukia's hand.

'Rukia... Why would...' and then it dawned on her. 'Oh, no.'

'You can't tell anyone.' the grieving angel hissed as she whipped her head around sharply so that she was now facing her companion. 'No one knows about this except for Aizen and the Council.'

'Rukia.' Hisana gasped sharply, a hand flying to her gaping mouth. 'The pain you've been complaining about... Could it be that it's because-'

'Don't.' she choked, keeling over at a sudden sharp pain in her chest. 'Don't say it.'

'You slept with him.'

Hearing those words aloud struck Rukia's heart with lightning. Her tears now flowed uncontrollably, although she wasn't audibly sobbing nor was her face contorting in hurt. Rather, her expression was totally unchanging and her eyes had dulled. She only moved when Hisana reached out for her, hunching over and turning away once more to signal that she didn't want to be touched.

She wasn't sad. It wasn't that.

It hurt, but she wasn't sad.

She was happy that she met him.

She was so happy for all the memories they shared, that it destroyed her to know that he forgot their supposedly unbreakable bond - all because of her. Their laughs, their fights, the silent moments when their souls resonated perfectly and all they had to do was see into each other's eyes - he had forgotten all of it.

There was nothing more painful than that.

'Rukia, why?'

Why?

How was she supposed to answer that? Even she didn't fully understand why herself.

It felt right.

That was probably a stupid answer, but it was also the truth. Nothing she had ever experienced prior to his lips on hers, his arms around her, their bodies thrown into the throes of pleasure, had ever felt so _right_ to her. She couldn't fathom how there could possibly be consequences to doing something that felt so right. How could something that makes her so happy, possibly be wrong?

The humanity in her was taking over again. It was the human heart she had acquired, or that he had awakened inside of her, that was clouding her judgement once more. Even though she was no longer with him, even though he had forgotten everything - she could never forget, not for as long as she could breathe.

She didn't understand her own feelings because she had never felt this human before.

And how would she explain that to her sister? Her sister, who was forbidden from interacting with the humans, who knew nothing other than an existence governed by the rules of Heaven?

'Rukia.' she cupped the girl's face. She felt her own tears burning her eyeballs when she felt Rukia's icy ones slide onto her hands. It was mortifying. Rukia had always been the more headstrong of the pair. Her formidable character only added to the devastating effect of seeing her cry. 'Rukia, why?'

'I wanted him.'

'Rukia, why?'

'I just... I don't know.'

'Rukia.'

'Over time, I just felt so comfortable with him. I started to feel excited and happy whenever we were together. I...' she inhaled sharply. 'I wanted him; his heart, I wanted to be the one who held his heart. Until finally, when the opportunity presented itself, all I could think of was how much I wanted to feel him. And when I did, even though it hurt, it felt so good to love him like that.'

'Rukia.' Hisana's face darkened. 'Did you just imply that you feel something for this man?'

Needless emotions.

They were all so troublesome.

'Rukia, you know the consequences. If his essence was inside of you, that's poison to you. You know that anything from a human - blood, sweat, _anything_ at all - has an ill effect on us. That mortal substance tampers with our astral genetic makeup. The pain in your body is proof of human toxicity. It makes us... more like them. Weaker, susceptible to death. It creates the possibility that we could _die_.'

 _Is that such a horrible thing? To be able to die, to be mortal?_

'Rukia, _you_ could die.'

'I already know that.' she whispered, collapsing onto the translucent grass and burying her face in her hands. Hisana hovered over her, alarmed by her sister's frail nature. 'But it didn't matter. It _doesn't_ matter. Nee-sama, I've never felt such happiness in my entire life. I felt like I _belonged_ with him.'

'You belong _here_!'

'I don't know anymore!' her voice choked with tears. 'There's a small part of me that's happy to know I could die. Because then I could _live_ by his side! Humans are so lucky - they can act on their love, they can have families. But I... All I can do is watch him from here. I thought it wouldn't be so bad, but it's horrible! He's going to get married next week! And I hate that! He's going to marry a human woman and have children with her! They're going to grow old and die _together_! And I'm going to watch that happen! That's hellish! _I_ want to be with him, no matter what that means! I returned because I want him to marry her and fulfil my duty - to see to it that peace returns to their nation. But at what cost? They'll find peace, and I'm forever _broken_!'

'Rukia!' she scooped her sister up in a tight embrace. 'You're not broken. We can fix this.'

'No, we can't.'

There was no way she could go back to the way things were before she met him. Now, they were one and the same being. He made her realize what it meant to be a part of a whole, and to be whole for the first time ever. For that whole to be taken apart, for her to be ripped from that completion - it hurt. Even though she was meant to live on for all eternity, the endless flow of time couldn't take away even a fraction of the pain away.

 _Do your duty. Don't be distracted. Fulfil your mission._

And fulfil her mission she had. But as she subconsciously envisioned how joyous he would be on his wedding day and how beautiful his bride would be, her teeth grit together so hard she thought that they might actually fall off. She decided to leave him so that the two war-torn nations could finally find some peace.

But her heart was drowning in chaos.

* * *

'Orihime.' Ichigo knocked on the bedroom door again. He could hear her weeping inside, but no effort was made on her part to unlock the door.

It must have been the hundredth time he tried to get her to talk to him.

Apparently after that surge of painful throbbing coursing through his body, he passed out with Rukia in his arms. Because when he awoke again, his wife and Renji were both standing at the end of clinic bed with dubious faces. Still groggy from his slumber, he stared blankly at them as if to ask them why they were looking at him so intensely.

Then he suddenly became aware that he was lying on top of Rukia, his arms wrapped around her.

Before he could even try to come up with a believable explanation, his lover ran up the stairs and shut herself in their bedroom. Renji darted to _his_ wife's side, pushing Ichigo away a little too harshly. His back was turned to the doctor as he attended to Rukia's unconscious body. A heated tension radiated between the two men even though they refused to acknowledge each other.

But Ichigo had no time to deal with that. He had to go and make things right with Orihime. They had never gotten into arguments, but her jealousy towards the shorter woman would sometimes be evident in micro aggressions that seemed to pop up out of nowhere. And although he obviously couldn't really understand the context of it all, Kazui would become visibly frightened whenever he sensed that energy between his parents.

So for the sake of his son, Ichigo had to go make things right again.

'Orihime.' he insisted, trying to turn the knob. It was futile. There was no way he was getting in, and he wasn't the type of guy to force his presence on a woman who wanted nothing to do with him. At least for the moment. Of course that didn't mean he couldn't try to convince her to talk things out. 'That wasn't what it looked like. Please open this door.'

Of course it wasn't what it looked like. Orihime already knew that.

It was just... It was a horrendous sight to see, like reality gut-punching her or the universe giving her the middle finger.

Even in his sleep, Ichigo looked so peaceful next to the one who changed his world. It was a peace that Orihime knew she could never give him, no matter how much she tried. For years now, she had to watch as the love of her life deteriorated into an unambitious shell of the person he once was. Despite her best efforts to please him, to make him happy, she could never do for him what Rukia could achieve so effortlessly.

And to be reminded of that...

Orihime couldn't stop sobbing. It was impossible to exaggerate just how pained she was.

To love a man who could never love you back; there was nothing worse than that.

* * *

'Don't move her!' Kon scolded the redhead. 'Ichigo put her on the bed for a reason!'

'I bet he did!' Renji barked, stubbornly picking Rukia up in his arms. 'I can only imagine what he was thinking!'

'It wasn't like that, you fruit-head!'

'Fuck you, you stuffed devil! As if you'd know anything. Rukia's been under so much stress lately, I knew it was a bad idea for her to come here! And to be stuck in this gigai... The air here isn't good for her! I need to take her back to Soul Society!'

'I'm telling you, Ichigo said she needs to be monitored!'

'Ichigo's a wannabe doctor! He can play that profession all he wants to, but he'll never be able to compete with the centuries of knowledge the scientists at the Seireitei have acquired!'

'Stop! You're hurting her!'

'The only person who ever hurt her is him.' he spat venomously.

The lieutenant recalled how heartbroken Rukia was when Ichigo married Orihime, when she found out that he had gotten her pregnant. She was so moody, snapping at anyone who tried to so much as ask her how her day was. She had become more conscientious of her appearance, growing her hair out to look "more feminine" and her appetite withered into nothingness. Whenever he tried to goad her into eating something, she'd laugh and ignore him.

 _'Are they happy together?' Renji had asked absent-mindedly during dinner one time._

 _'I'm sure they are.' Rukia replied with tight lips. 'Otherwise they wouldn't be together.'_

 _'To be honest, I never even knew he was into her. I mean... We know him pretty well, I thought for sure I'd notice something.'_

 _'Well, she **is** beautiful. It would be strange if he **didn't** like her.'_

At that instant, for just a fraction of a second, her expression was as if the world around her had just crumbled.

And that was when Renji knew that he would never have her heart.

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you so much to everyone supporting this story! I felt like there was a lot of confusion and questions last chapter, so I prioritized this chapter of this story to hopefully clear some things up. Of course, the whole past has not been revealed. That will happen later on in the story. Another reason for that is because **NieveDrop** and I are still working out the kinks of some aspects of it. We want it to be as airtight as possible!

I'm going to try and loop in some plotholes that bother me. For instance, I couldn't really understand why Aizen was so angry towards the Soul King's rule. In my opinion, Aizen was such an interesting villain and I would have loved more backstory on him. His appearance in this chapter is the beginning of my attempt to explain his past, and why he would choose to send Rukia specifically to Ichigo in Karakura.

I also want to reiterate that IchiRuki will happen in this story! They absolutely will end up together. The intimacy is not limited to the description of their past lives.

Thank you to **blissbeat, malea anne , Shirayuki992, NieveDrop, achalida, jobananasan, gin,** and the **Guest** reviewers!

 **Guest** , yes it will be a full multi-chapter story! So honoured to have your interest and support!

 **malea anne** , I hope this chapter answers some of your questions!

 **Shirayuki992** , no problem at all! I love it when people ask questions. It makes me feel like you're interested! There is absolutely is a deeper reason and there are more of his feelings that I want to explore. But for the sake of the plot, I have to be very Rukia-centric right now. And no, IchiRuki will happen in their present lives as well. There will be no infidelity, but they will be romantically involved. And yes, they will have touchy feely moments as well! Don't worry!

 **achalida** , I'm happy you enjoyed his characterization!

Thanks so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	7. The Angel's Hell II

'Why have they sent her back?!' Hisana was dumbfounded.

Earlier, she had woken up and searched for her sister so that they could brainstorm ways of alleviating Rukia's incessant abdominal pain. That symptom was bothering Hisana, for she was older and wiser and therefore knew all too well what it could mean. But as she waltzed through all of Heaven, she soon realized that Rukia was nowhere to be found. Eventually, a comrade had asked if Hisana was looking for her sibling. The older sister nodded vigorously, hoping that her friend had answers.

Instead, he told her that the Council decided that Rukia should be sent back to the human world.

To that King's side.

'Aizen!' Hisana hissed, trying to catch the attention of her superior.

'Quiet.' he commanded in a growl, hurriedly marching towards her. When he finally stood before her, he grabbed her by the shoulders and dragged her down to sit with him on the frosty grass. 'What do you think you can accomplish if you throw a tantrum?'

'I'm not throwing a tantrum.' she pushed his hands off of her. 'I want to know where my sister is! You know she's been weakened. You know what happened between her and that king. So why is this happening now?! What good will it be to return her to him?!'

'You're not stupid, Hisana. You know just how he's managed to sway the Council.'

'Oh, please! Is that really why they've chosen to send her back? That's pathetic! To think that we in Heaven can be manipulated by a mere human-'

'It wasn't manipulation at all. At least, that's not how the Council sees it. To them, it was the raw humanity in him - the courage and faith he held onto for your sister that proved to the Council that he is one most deserving of the greatest gift Heaven can offer.'

'Don't tell me you actually believe that!'

'I don't. But I'm not privy to the Council's meetings and their decision-making.'

'This is bad.' she chewed on a nail to quell her anxiety. 'This is beyond catastrophic. That man is just going to take advantage of her. She'll become weaker, more and more like a human. She could...'

Die.

She didn't want to say it out loud. Her eyes filled with tears as she thought of her beloved sister degrading into a mortal being, doomed to roam the Earth in fear of death. Why? Why would Rukia want that? Why, when she was seated at the almighty realm? Humans looked up to them, strived to become them - they were the ideal. Why would she devalue herself like that?

'I need to ask the Council why they've chosen this.'

'No.' Aizen seized her by the wrist, yanking her to him. 'That is _not_ how we do this.'

'Why do _you_ care?! She's not your sister, she's not your family! She was just one among many students of yours! You don't give a damn about her! Why would you involve yourself in this?!'

'You're right, I _don't_ care what becomes of her. But I do care about what happens down there in the human world. About how it's going to affect us here.'

'What are you talking about?'

'Think about it this way; one of us is now living amongst the humans. Two worlds that were never meant to mingle are colliding, even if it seems like an insignificantly small disturbance now. Whose to say what could happen? For humans to be exposed to that much power... After all, even the mere flutter of a butterfly's wings can set the conditions for a tornado.'

'Aizen.' she grabbed his white kimono. 'I don't understand what you're trying to say.'

Hazel eyes twinkled in calculated mischief. Perhaps he would have some use for this woman after all. This unbecoming rage she was exhibiting... Maybe Rukia's newfound humanity had crept over to her sister as well. Well, whatever. Humanity was advantageous to his plans.

Since humans were so weak.

'Aizen!'

'This King was inside your sister, Hisana. Who knows what else he could do to her. Especially...' he leaned in to plant the seed of maddening doubt into her ear. 'If he sees her as a means to power.'

'Then what do you suggest I do?'

'You mean what _we_ can do.'

* * *

'Rukia.' Ichigo must have breathed her name for the millionth time. His hands were still shaky as they roamed through every curve of her body. His kisses were deep and breathless, with him only removing himself from her reddening lips to chant her name like it was a desperate prayer. 'Rukia, Rukia...!'

The celestial maiden allowed herself to succumb to him. Tears flowed from freely from her eyes as he ravaged her, the overwhelming feelings of love and satisfied longing pumping through her heart and threatening to punch it through her chest. His masculine aroma was permeating all her senses, the slick heat of his body intensifying every sensual step of their lusty dance. He travelled downwards with soft kisses and she threw her head back as he nipped and sucked at her sensitive flesh. Even though they were apart for a month, her body still remembered him. In fact, it was yearning for him.

She was so happy. So, so happy.

'Rukia...' his breath was hot on her abdomen. Daring to look down at him, she found his mischievous ruby eyes leering up at her with a glint of predatory desire. He placed his hands on her shaking thighs, and she grew excited at the thought of him entering her again. Instead, he remained where he was and parted her legs. She tilted her head to try and see him better, but she couldn't for the life of her understand what he was doing. Before she could say anything, his lips latched onto her slit and an exotic wave of pleasure rocked her.

'Anh!' her scream was shrill. It bounced off the walls of his chamber, exciting him like an audible aphrodisiac. His fingers dug into her inner thighs as she arched her back impressively, her hands flying by either side of her head to grip the sheets until her knuckles turned a ghostly white. 'I-Ichigo! Ichigo! Ichigo!' she didn't know what to say, so she called his name in moans. Her eyes were watering with every lick of her folds until she cried a loud shriek when his tongue drew circles at the ring of her entrance. 'Ichigo, please!' she was practically sobbing. 'I want you inside me!'

But he wasn't done with her yet, not by a long shot. For the first time, he was _tasting_ her; the woman he loved, the woman who was nearly taken away from him in this lifetime. He fought so hard to get her back, and he was now enjoying the flavour of their reunion. Her sweetness was just making him salivate more. He just couldn't get enough of her, of how wet and sloppy she was for him, in anticipation of him fucking her like she was his for all eternity.

He intended it to be that way.

'A-Ahh!' she howled when her climax hit, her whole body convulsing as she stared wide-eyed at the ceiling. His hold on her thighs remained firm, and he lapped at all of her fresh juices. She jerked at the overstimulation, with him giving her no time to come down from her high. 'Ichigo... Please...' she managed, still quaking from his merciless attention. 'Ichigo...' she didn't even know what she wanted to say. It just felt so damn good to say his name.

'My Queen...' he teased her again, sliding up her body and suckling on her neck as he kneaded her breasts. She inhaled sharply and he gyrated his hips on her, wanting her to feel just how needy and hot she was making him. He felt her stiffen, so he tried coaxing her with the sweetest voice he could muster, 'Rukia... I love you...' She turned her head to face him. He wasn't prepared for such a beautiful sight. He could never really lighten the impact of those sapphire eyes locking with his. 'I love you.' he whispered again, kissing her wantonly.

He thought that she was going to be exhausted from her orgasm, but her tongue fought his for dominance that he was unwilling to give. She moaned against his mouth, trying to please him. He grabbed her by the sides and rolled over so that she was on top of him now. Without his weight pinning her down, she pulled herself from their locked lips and slid down his body just low enough so that she could curl her fingers around his painfully hot erection. Her boldness caught his attention and he extracted himself from her, raising an eyebrow suggestively as he tried to suppress the urge to lick his lips in arousal. He was practically salivating.

Tentatively, she looked up at him as if asking for permission. The sight of her face just a breath away from his throbbing dick was enough to send a bit of essence dribbling down his length from his tip. She noticed the sudden eruption and blushed as she eyed his aching member with a mix of fear and excitement. She gazed up at him again and he nodded in approval. A hand reached down to stroke her face and eventually slipping his index finger into her mouth. She sucked eagerly, turning an even more saturated shade of pink. He retrieved his digit from her moist mouth with a _pop_ , and she leaned towards the retreating finger with a protruding tongue.

'You liked that, didn't you?' he groaned as both his hands entwined in her silver locks. It was taking all he could not to thrust into her eager mouth and fuck her throat. He shivered. Just the thought that her swollen lips would wrap around him... It was too much. 'What do you really want, Rukia?'

'I want to taste you.' she whispered. He wasn't expecting that. As she spoke, her hot breath tickled his pulsating cock. His eyes threatened to roll back in his sockets just then. The teasing had to stop.

'I can't believe this.'

Rather than say something back, she opened her mouth to him. Her tongue swirled around his tip; a move he was entirely unprepared for. 'Ru...!' he couldn't finish his sentence. The sensation was double in its intensity. There was the virginal hesitancy of her tongue manipulating the bulbous head of his cock, added to just the thought that she was actually tasting him - it was too much for him to take in all at once. 'Unh, aghh...!' his grip on her hair tightened when her mouth wrapped over just a bit of his length. She tried to take half of him in, but she felt her eyes water as she struggled to accommodate him. He sensed her difficulty and decided that he had enough of this anyway.

He tilted her head back to release himself from her oral affection. With one swift movement, he lifted her by the arms and positioned him over his cock so that she was straddling him. She braced herself by placing her hands on his abdomen. She began to lower herself, but he halted her movements by squeezing her hips. He held her above him, prodding her entrance ever so slightly. The lewd taunting brought her crumbling down on his muscular torso. His name tore from her mouth in moans, screams, and whispers as she waited for him to end her frustration.

He wanted to tease her until she begged him to take her, then throw her into the fires of passion until she begged him to stop.

But he would have to save that moment for when he had more self-control.

He slipped into her hastily, and her back arched as far as it could go as she let out a guttural moan. The initial entry hurt her a bit, but she displayed no signs of pain. He gave her no time to adjust, thrusting in and out of her with a force that seemed intent on breaking her. Nevertheless, she propped herself up in a sitting position to push him deeper inside of her. Her sobbed groaning accompanying the sight of her juices running down her thighs as he fucked her with abandon made his heart race dangerously.

'I love you.' he said without thinking and she shot him the most stunning smile he had ever seen. She laid her hands on top of his on her hips, as if giving thanks for his confession. His lips parted as he just watched her as she writhed in the pleasure he was giving her. His declaration of love still hung in the air like unfinished business. So, mustering up all the courage he could, he asked her a question. 'Do you love me?' his voice cracked with a thousand emotions he was keeping at bay. He felt their intense connection in his bones, but he wasn't quite sure if their bond was mostly due to his attachment to her. He wanted to be sure that he wasn't crazy, that he wasn't imagining their passion.

That she felt the same way.

He was insecure, and he wanted some reassurance.

There was nothing wrong with that.

'Rukia...?'

'Haven't I...' she began, taking one of his hands off of her hips to bring it up to her face. 'Shown you every way I can?'

Tears were pooling in his eyes, but he didn't want her to see them. He pulled her down so that she was laying on top of him again as he rode her with need. She squirmed at the harshness, shrieking his name as he brought her to her climax over and over until he finally emptied himself inside of her. When they were spent, he ravaged her anyway with kisses on every inch of her body. Exhaustion eventually hit him and he conceded to laying side by side with her, staring into each other's wordlessly until she finally broke the silence.

'I love you.' she said for the first time.

'I love you too.'

* * *

'Did I wake you?' Ichigo winced as Rukia stirred in bed in the morning. He was dressing himself with his makeshift armour, wrapping the bandages around his upper body before slipping his black hakama on. His lover eyed him worriedly, but he gave her a reassuring grin. 'Don't worry. I won't be gone long.'

'But where are you going?' she tried to get up, but the perpetual pain in her abdomen intensified as she did so. She hunched over, burying herself in the sheets to try and comfort herself. Sensing that something was wrong, he rushed to her side and rubbed her back. Anxious, scarlet eyes scanned her for any telltale signs that she was in serious physical harm. 'I'm sorry.' she exhaled. 'I just... I'm not used to laying with you.'

'You're in pain? From last night?'

'Not just last night. It's been this way ever since the first time.'

'Rukia.' he ran his fingers through her hair. 'Why haven't you mentioned this before? You don't have to lay with me.'

'I just...' she bit her lip. 'I like it; making love with you. It feels good.'

He blushed, but hid it behind his jet-black locks. Leaning in to kiss her forehead, he took her hand in his and gave a tight squeeze. 'I don't want to hurt you. Get well soon, my love. Then I'll please you as much as you want.'

She wrapped her arms his neck, burying her face in the curve of his neck. The sheets fell to her waist so that her bare back was exposed to him. He reached down pull the sheets up, holding them over her shoulders. She refused to let him go, so he nuzzled her hair and breathed in her cherry blossom scent. Gently, he pried her limbs off of him and cupped her face. 'I won't be gone long.'

'But why are you going?' she pressed. 'I thought that you had no plans today.'

'Foreign troops are headed this way to raze our land. They had hoped to ambush us, but our watchmen are excellent at what they do.'

'Ichigo.' she shook his hands away, her eyes widening in panic. 'I thought you said they agreed to partake in peace talks. That was supposed to begin tomorrow.'

'Yes, but it seems like these foreigners are not men of their word.'

'And what will you do now? An emergency meeting?' she surveyed his attire and caught a glimpse of his sword's hilt. 'Why do you have your armour?'

'I'm heading to the battlefield.'

She wanted to berate him and beg him not to go, but she knew that being overly emotional was no way to support him. As always, she just had to believe in him. She had to have as much faith in this man as he did in her. Besides, he always came back to her. No matter what, they would inevitably find themselves reunited. This time was no different. She just had to trust him.

'Don't look at me like that.' he smirked. 'I've gotten stronger while you were away.'

Her eyes shut to try and contain herself. He gave her a light peck on the cheek before turning on his heel. He told her to take it easy today and that he'd make up for his absence later. She would just nod at random intervals, hoping he wouldn't notice her tension. When he finally left, she decided that it would be best to tend to her mysterious ailment.

She clicked her tongue with annoyance. She was examining herself in the full-length mirror at her bedside, but she could find no wound or bruise. Even if she were injured, she would just be able to regenerate at the blink of an eye. But without a physical indicator, she couldn't quite place why her abdomen always felt like it was being crushed by a constantly unpleasant weight. It was getting worse every single day.

She dressed herself in the white robes she would always have to wear in Heaven. The King had appointed a seamstress to be of service to her, but she refused to have anything made. She wanted to wear her astral cloak proudly to serve as a reminder to herself that of where she came from. Not that she was trying to belittle humans, but she thought it would be wise to remain astute to the fact that she wasn't one of them.

'Rukia.'

The said woman snapped her head to the direction of the familiar voice.

'Nee-sama.' Rukia greeted her sister with a warm smile. Her expression dropped when she saw just how angry her sibling looked. 'Nee-sama?'

'Enough's enough.' the wingless angel sauntered over to the younger woman, extending an arm out as if she wanted Rukia to take it. 'You have to come back now.'

'Nee-sama, I'm staying here. The Council has decide-'

'I _know_ what the Council has decided! But the Council has forgotten how cunning human beings can be. That King of yours will only hurt you, Rukia. Open your eyes! You have to come back to us before it's too late!'

'You're wrong.' she took a step back as her visitor took a step forward, as if the action repelled her. 'He's not like that. You don't know him.'

'It's _you_ who doesn't know him. You're naive, you can't remove yourself from the illusion of his manipulation!'

'He's not manipulating me!'

'Of course he is! Look at you! Look at that human expression you're wearing on your face! You had so much potential - all wasted! You've been training all your life to eventually earn a rightful seat at the Council! But now, you're content being that man's toy! You've forgotten your obligations! You've forgotten your duties! You've forgotten who you are!'

'Nee-sama, please listen to me!'

'There's nothing for you to say!'

'You don't understand, Nee-sama! He's _good_! He can change this world for the better! He's changed _me_ for the better! I need to stay. I need to help him. I need to support him.'

'Your responsibilities lie in Heaven, _not_ with him!'

'I believe in him!'

'Enough!' Hisana barked, grabbing her sister's wrist intending to take her back by force. But the minute she touched her own flesh and blood, she sensed something different, something she hadn't been able to detect before. Her grip loosened and she retracted so swiftly one would have thought she had just been burned. 'No...'

'Nee-sama?'

'Rukia, you're pregnant.'

'What?' she couldn't stop a soft upward tugging of her lips. She was surprised, but more than that she was so happy. Pregnant? With Ichigo's baby? Euphoria swept over her and she swore that she had never experienced such joy in her life. Was this what it meant to be human? Were all human wives this happy to bear children of the men they loved? A dainty hand subconsciously laid on her womb, rubbing in small circles as if to make sure there really was life forming in there.

A lifeform that would grow up to be able to walk, talk, and breathe. Proof of her and Ichigo's love for one another, forever tying them together in blood.

She would tell him the good news as soon as he returned.

They were going to have a family.

'Rukia, you have to come back.'

'No!' she snapped out of her thoughts. 'This baby is partly human, it won't be able to survive up there!'

'Rukia, forget human essence! This is a literal human being inside of you!' Hisana's icy tears choked her words. 'This is the mother of all poisons! It's weakening you! You're too human now, you're... You _are_ human!'

'Nee-sama, I don't care! This is what I want! I want him, I love him! I want to have this family with him!'

'As if I'd ever let that happen! After today, you won't ever see him again!' after realizing she had said too much, Hisana quickly averted her gaze.

But it was too late. Rukia had already heard and seen enough to ignite her suspicion. She shook her sister by the shoulders, fear freezing her over.

'Nee-sama. What do you mean by that?'

* * *

'Agh!' Ichigo placed all his strength into holding his sword to block the swing of another. But it didn't seem like any of that mattered. This army was different. Evading physical attacks didn't make a difference in this battlefield. Strength wasn't a main concern right now. That wasn't the issue here.

No, it was far worse than that.

'My King!' a wounded soldier threw himself in front of his majesty. An arrow forged from the reiatsu of a foreign henchman shot right through the footman, who coughed up blood but struggled to protect the King. Ichigo steadied him as best as he could, giving him thanks and reassuring him that his sacrifice was not made in vain.

The foreign army could perform magic.

They formed bows and arrows using some innate spiritual force. It was unlike anything the mortal King had ever come across before. He had never even heard of such a technique. It was absolutely terrifying. Who knew what else their evil forces were capable of doing?

'Ichigo!'

His head whipped to the side. It couldn't be. How? Why? 'Rukia!'

'You have to head back to safety, Ichigo!' the angelic being halted every attack on her with an icy wave of her hand, but it was evident that she was getting weaker by the second. She was floating past the warfare, but her flight was jagged as she swayed every now and then. She was also hesitating to use the full extent of her powers, knowing that if she froze her body to unleash her most advanced technique that the temporary drop in temperature would harm the baby. Ichigo rushed to meet her, concern sharpening his instincts. He pushed past all the war-hungry men, slashing at anyone that got in his way. Once he was close enough, he caught her hand and pulled her lithe form into his arms.

'Why did you come?!' he asked, but gave her no time to answer as he kissed her quickly. When he pulled away from the kiss, he made sure not to release his hold on her. This was dangerous. She couldn't be here. It was too risky. ' _You_ have to head back. I know you're strong, but I can't bear to see you in harm's way.'

Normally, she would have scolded and remind him that she was a heavenly being. And as such, she was immortal.

But that was no longer the case. Not with the most potent form of human essence inside of her.

'Ichigo!' she screamed when an opposing soldier managed to wound the King with a stab to the bicep. Her lover was forced to disengage himself from her, fearlessly extracting the blade from his flesh and using it to cut his foe down. Though he was able to subdue his enemy, another one tried to slash at him, though he easily evaded it.

It was only when a third man came up to him and blew the same light they used to create the arrows into his eyes that he felt his sockets burning. He was forced to shut his eyelids, instinctively spearing his sword forward to try and avenge his possibly discarded vision. He had no way of knowing the exact location of his opponent, especially without his ability to see, but he couldn't do nothing and remain vulnerable to be attacked.

He felt the weapon lodge into a body, fracturing bone and digging into flesh.

The stinging of his eyelids quickly disappeared after that.

He opened his eyes.

And found his sword piercing through Rukia's womb.

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you so much to everyone supporting this story! This chapter was completely dedicated to putting in the final moments that Rukia remembered before she died in her first lifetime. Of course, there are still bits and pieces missing that will come to play later on in the story. Questions like, how did Hisana know that Ichigo was going to be in a dangerous situation? or What did Aizen tell Hisana? or How did Aizen and Hisana end up in Soul Society? will be key points in the plot!

Next chapter will bring us back to the present.

Thank you to **blissbeat, malea anne, Shirayuki992, jobananasan, BinaLove, han-ichiruki,** and the **Guest** reviewers!

 **blissbeat,** yes! Their original meeting will be recalled in Ichigo's memories later.

 **Shirayuki992,** I agree with your analysis of the IchiRuki bond! There really was something flat about Ichigo in the last chapter. it was like his his spunk disappeared. For the entirety of the last arc, I just found him so boring. Like he didn't really progress as a person. And to have been involved in a genocide... I don't believe that that didn't screw with his head. Also, their first lifetime is the only one being explored because it will directly affect them in the present. I hope this is not a disappointment!

 **jobananansan,** yes Hisana did gain the ability to produce wings! All will be explained in later chapters! Ichigo will be explored in later chapters as well! It is very Rukia-centric now, but I need to pace it like this to advance the plot in the least confusing way.

 **Guest,** some people do find a weeping Orihime humorous!

 **BinaLove,** thank you so much for your support and interest! The ending will indeed be IchiRuki.

 **han-ichiruki,** Ichigo will be explored in a couple of chapters!

Thank you so much everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	8. Hell's Angel

_'This wasn't supposed to happen.' Sousuke Aizen gazed down at Ichigo's lifeless body from the reflection of Heaven's all-seeing lake. It was a moderate body of water that served as a means for highly ranked celestial residents to observe the human world from the comfort of their home. The surface of the water mirrored anything happening down below in the mortal realm. The user only had to will it, and it would be._

 _But Aizen didn't want to see **this**._

 _'This is a catastrophe.' he mumbled to himself, becoming all too aware of his shaking hands reacting to this horrific scene._

 _The mighty King had fallen. His lengthy, ebony hair was matted with blood that still seeped from a gaping gash at his stomach. Bloody scarlet eyes were wide open but were dull without life in them. Surrounding him were soldiers of his own army, and of the aggressor nation's. Some men screamed and sobbed at the sight of their ruler dead on the dirty soil, while others had turned mad with rage and slashed at anything their sight landed on. It was a gruesome scenario and Aizen was glad that he didn't have to go all the way there to actually see it. He could only imagine how the coppery smell of bloodshed would just nauseate him by highlighting the faulty nature of humanity. It was pathetic._

 _But perhaps what was most pitiful was the fact that Ichigo was still clinging onto Rukia._

 _She was wrapped in his arms, her own body turning as cold as her aesthetic. Her arms were folded over her womb as if she meant to protect her child. As if the poor thing could be saved. Tears had stained her cheeks, evidence that her last moments were pure agony._

 _This wasn't good._

 _Without warning, thunder clapped through all of Heaven. The ground quaked furiously, bringing Aizen to his knees. He collapsed to the ground on his fours but he didn't even bother getting up. His hands balled into fists and he grit his teeth. This wouldn't do. He had to move fast. He had to move now. He knew what was_ _coming, and he'd be damned if his dreams ended today. No one would take it from him; not the humans, not Ywach, and certainly not his own mistakes._

 _'It doesn't matter what you do.' he said to no one in particular. 'I will succeed.'_

* * *

'Orihime, please.' Ichigo knocked for the hundredth time. 'Please. I don't want to do this.'

On the other side of the door, his wife was leaning on the mahogany as she fought an internal battle. She didn't want to do this either, but it was too painful to face him right now. To see him with such a peaceful expression that she could never put on his face and his arms around the woman she envied more than anyone in the world. Because she was the very reason Ichigo's heart always seemed to belong to her rather than his actual spouse - it was enough to drive the human mother insane with pain.

'Please. Do you want Kazui to see us like this?'

Even though he married her and had a wonderful son with her, Orihime couldn't stop the looming question always at the back of her head.

'Orihime!'

Did he love Rukia?

Since Orihime was a teenager, she had always asked - no, _known_ \- the answer to that question. It was in the little things; the way that he couldn't breathe when she was hurt, the way that his eyes lit up whenever she returned from a prolonged absence. It was always there. The strong chemistry between them simply could not be destroyed. Rukia was his soulmate, effortlessly peering into the depths of his heart like he was an open book to be read.

Orihime had always wanted to be able to do that. She wanted to be the person Ichigo relied on most. The last decade was spent trying to learn more about him so that she could be of some use to him. But no matter how much she tried to get him to open up to her, he always maintained at least ten feet of ice around him, barring entry to anyone who dared search his soul. Ever since the war against the Quincies, he'd become jaded. She used to think it he had just matured and therefore mellowed out. When she really thought about it, it was like a part of him had frozen over. She tried for years to get to the bottom of the issue, but there was no way he would ever let her inside his mind.

Rejection time and time again. How long was she supposed to be subservient to him to convince him that she was enough? That he could trust her? That she wouldn't hurt him, that she just wanted to help? How long was she supposed to play second fiddle to a comrade? The betrayal stung. To think that Ichigo still didn't trust his own wife. To think that his first love was married to another man. And still, _still_ he refused to expose himself to anyone other than Rukia.

Even thought she left him.

It was frustrating! It was easier to not think about it now that they Orihime was his wife and mother to his child. As they went about the day-to-day motions of ordinary lives, Rukia seemed to fade into the background and Orihime thought that it was only natural that her petite friend and husband would drift apart. The redhead had hoped that this distance between her comrades would widen and that her fantasy of finally being the apple of Ichigo's eye would come to fruition.

It was only natural. It was only natural. It was only natural...

That a man's wife and mother to his children would be the one he loved most...

He loved her. He had to. It made sense.

Right?

Forcing herself to muster up enough confidence, she wiped the tears from her eyes before finally swinging the door open. Ichigo ceased his knocking, his expression one of utter surprise. He didn't think that that would happen. He was expecting her to continue sulking for a good portion of the afternoon. Orihime flashed him a calculated smile that she had mastered throughout her childhood; one devoid of pain. He relaxed upon seeing her light up like that. Maybe they could just put this behind them without her interrogating him. And maybe this meant that she was finally getting over her insecurities about Rukia.

'Ori-'

She swung an arm over his neck and kissed him.

His eyebrows crinkled in confusion, but he guessed that this was probably her way of reassuring him that all was well between them. He hugged her close to him, and her other hand rested on his chest. He partook in this display of intimacy for a good minute before attempting to pull away. His wife simply leaned into the distance he put, refusing to part her lips from his. So he kissed her again so that she wouldn't feel rejected.

It wasn't that he hated doing this kind of stuff with her. He was _married_ to her, so it was only natural that this type of thing would occur frequently. It was just that, when he envisioned such an act in his head prior to having any experience, he expected his heart to threaten to burst with overwhelming... something. He just wanted to feel something. Anything. Not even love, just desire. Or possessiveness. Something, anything!

It wasn't that he didn't find her attractive - because she _was_. But not more so than other women he had seen, sometimes unwillingly so. Like when he saw Yoruichi transform for the first time, or when Rangiku began unbuttoning the top of the female version of his school uniform which wouldn't have looked as provocative on anyone else. Moments like those excited him, but also embarrassed him in equal measure. He was a _man_ damn it.

But just because his instinctive reaction was one of eager anticipation for the unraveling of the womanly anatomy, didn't mean that the experience was particularly special. Sex with Orihime was pleasurable, but only as pleasurable as the body _could_ feel pleasure. His heart, his soul - they were unresponsive. And here he thought that intercourse with the one you loved was the strongest instance one's heart eclipsed one's soul.

But he _loved_ Orihime. He did.

Right?

A dry sob escaped his lips and she mistook it for a groan of pleasure. In reality, he was in pain. This felt wrong. So, so wrong. Intimacy with Orihime never exactly felt right, but it never made him feel as guilty as it did at this very moment. There was always something off about their lips brushing against one another, about how cold and strange she felt in his arms.

Then again, normalcy had always felt strange to him - even before he became a shinigami. He just knew from the bottom of his heart that the lifestyle he found himself indulging in was not what had to be in store for him.

There must have been something more.

Something fulfilling.

A moment in time as satisfying as looking into the eyes of the person who knew you best. Deep, rich eyes that were endless in their understanding; so much so that he thought he could get lost in them.

Orihime's eyes weren't like that.

'Hey.' he cleared his throat turned his head to the side. 'We have guests.'

'Yeah.' her smile was weak. 'You're right.'

* * *

'Rukia!' Renji cried happily when his childhood sweetheart finally opened her eyes.

The thing was, Rukia wasn't necessarily lucid. Though she was finally awake, her mind was wandering elsewhere. She had just regained her memories of all that she went through; centuries of holy training, the bond with her older sister, and the lost lives of the ones she loved most. Poor, innocent souls that were stripped of their vitality...

Because of _her_.

'Rukia.' his eyes were tearing with concern. She was confused by his emotional state, wondering what got him so worked up. His worrisome display was only driving her further into anxiety, especially since she was still trying to come to terms with what she had just remembered.

'Ren-!' she remained tight-lipped as his tongue begged for entrance. His large hands were clutching her shoulders so tightly he might as well have been gripping some railings he was hanging off of. His wiggly organ felt slimy and cold against her stubborn lips, and a bitter bile was building at the back of her throat. This was so disgusting. _He_ felt disgusting. This didn't feel right at all. She hated being intimate with him.

Not now, not when she remembered.

 _No._

He slithers his way into her open mouth.

 _No..._

His body isn't warm.

 _Please..._

His hands ran through her hair and she swore she would vomit then and there.

 _Stop..._

Why was this happening? This wasn't right. She couldn't do this again, not with anyone, not after him. Not after her Heaven found itself on Earth, in Ichigo's eyes and in his arms. Not after she remembered his spicy scent, his muscular embrace, and his all too familiar voice that whispered seductive nothings in her ear as he made her feel human. Even though she knew it was a lifetime passed, she found him again. And even if they couldn't be together because they weren't destined to be, there was no way she could ever mirror their romance with anyone else.

 _You're not Ichigo!_

'No!' she pulled away from him, thrusting one arm in front of his chest to quickly place some distance between them. Her breathing was laboured and her heart was thundering in her eardrums.

'Rukia, what-'

The sudden formation of ice on his feet stifled his sentence. He panted in chilly shock at the sensation. His eyes flew to his wife, but it was what was behind her that distracted him before he could focus on her. A good five feet of a radius around her was starting to frost over. To his horror, he felt the atmospheric temperature dropping. It was yet to hit a dangerously low point, but bit by bit he could feel the biting iciness of it.

'Rukia... What are you doing?'

Her breaths were coming in in sharp inhales. Her azure eyes were tearing up, and he didn't understand why. He was beyond confused at this point. He didn't know what to do, so he pressed her for more information.

'Rukia, what happened?'

She keeled over in heartbreak. Soft sobs periodically escaped her lips and her hands were clutched at her chest. She was rolled up into a ball, but she could still see the redhead reach out to touch her. In response, she shifted away from him to make it fairly evident that the affection was unwelcome. She didn't want to be touched. She didn't want to be felt. And she certainly didn't want to feel.

Damn it. Damn it all to hell! Why was she reborn? She didn't want to be here. Why was she given a second chance to thwart Ichigo again? If she hadn't been such a fool, Ichigo wouldn't have had to suffer so much. Had she not played right into Aizen's plans, had she listened to her Hisana and simply extracted herself from her ridiculous notion of love, Ichigo wouldn't have had to die by the Quincies' hands.

Her baby wouldn't have had to die.

'Ohhh...' she whimpered, tucking her face between her knees. Her body went cold and her skin was starting to feel clammy. Her limbs shook vigorously, but she no longer had any control over her movements. All the grieving that she had been deprived of for so long - she was catching up to it now. Sadly, it was actually quite merciful that she died moments after her unborn child. She didn't have to go through the pain.

Had Aizen not succeeded to an extent, the Quincies wouldn't have evolved and razed innocent countries. Back then, she shuddered at the realization that the group of magician-like archers had reigned victorious over Ichigo's mortal army. As she lay on the bloodied ground surrounded by the pungent smell of death, she prayed that Heaven wouldn't allow these madmen to destroy any more lives. But in this lifetime, she had learned about their following acts of terror and even come face-to-face with the Sternritter. She had literally lived through her greatest fear, and she hadn't even realized it.

And to think that Ichigo had been reborn with Quincy blood.

Fate was a cruel, sadistic, fuck.

When she died in his arms, her last wish was that despite everything that happened between them and although their happy ending was ripped away from them, that they would find each other again. That they would have another chance. Perhaps not even as lovers, but just to be together. To exist in each other's presence and complete their lacking souls. She just wanted another chance.

But what happened?

Once she found him again, his life had turned into an utter mess. She blamed herself for ruining his destiny, but he reassured her and everyone that he didn't see it that way at all. According to him, she changed his world - for the better. Now he was able to fight to protect a mountain load of people.

That _liar_.

What kind of bullshit was that? She scoffed at the fact that she had actually bought that crap!

If that were true, what was he doing now? If normalcy really was what bogged him down, why did he settle for it? And at such a young age too. Perhaps it was the bitterness inside of her still creeping into her thoughts, but she had never anticipated that he would marry so young. She never got the impression that he wanted to settle down. If anything, she was hoping that he would eventually end up at Soul Society - with her. That was why she visited after five years. She thought to see how he was doing and what his plans were after his graduation from university - imagine her surprise when she had been greeted by an expecting Orihime!

Rukia thought he wanted more than that. Rukia wanted him to want more than that.

She thought she knew him.

But maybe she was just bitter. Since their first encounter, humanity disgusted and attracted her at the same time. The killing, the betrayal; it was horrendous. But the love and the warmth of the people you held most dear to you - and the product of such a pure union that would eventually talk and walk the same world - that beautiful hallucination seduced her.

Of course he'd want that. Even now, even in this lifetime, of course he'd want that. Who wouldn't?

 _She_ wanted that.

But to think that that was taken away from her in the blink of an eye. And for him to forget all of it; what they were, who they were to each other - nothing was worse than that! All the love, the passion, the sleepless nights yearning for each other; he had forgotten all of it.

And for him to have what they could have had with another woman. For him to have a son. To have to watch their growing father-son bond surpass any endearment she had ever seen before. To think that he had sex with Orihime, making her feel the same things he made Rukia feel during all those heated hours beneath the light of the moon.

To think that he _loves_ Orihime.

'Rukia, stop!' Renji grabbed her by the wrist, but immediately retracted his hand. Her skin was colder than ice. Touching her was like dipping your hand into the darkest, deepest waters of the Arctic. It felt like an animal with sharp teeth had taken a bite out of the skin that made contact hers. He examined his hand and noted that ice crystals had formed and instantaneously given him frostbite.

'Ahh... Ahh...' she bit her finger to stop her wailing, but it was no use.

She had been hurt countless times. Both she _and_ Ichigo.

It didn't matter if it was in their first lifetime or this one. And it wouldn't matter if they would cross paths again a million times over in the future. At this point, she was confident that no one would let them have their peace.

She didn't want to be torn away from him. It was just how things were. It was fate. She tried to overcome it once, and she tried to trifle with it again this time. Shinigami and man should never meet. Life and death can never become one. What was she thinking?

But what was wrong with thinking that way?

Why should she want to part with him? Why should she have to give him up? To her knowledge, she had done nothing so unforgivable that her heart would be crushed right in front of her twice over now. No, she didn't deserve this at all.

She deserved better.

Her sister had forsaken her.

Her lover had abandoned her.

Her baby was dead.

Her tears had stopped.

Her pride was wounded.

Now, she was furious. Her blood was boiling and she was seeing red. She was still shaking, but it was now out of rage. Her teeth clenched so hard that her jaw looked locked in place.

Renji had never seen her like that before. She looked like she was absolutely seething with fury. Her wide eyes betrayed no emotion other than wrath. He didn't understand why she was being this way. Had something happened between her and Ichigo while they were alone in the house? What had gotten her so angry that it seemed as though she couldn't control her reiatsu?

The tattooed man eyed the thickening ice on the ground. To his horror, he realized that it was now creeping upstairs. The small circle surrounding her was now rapidly expanding, and with it, the temperature continuously dropping. As if waking up to the reality of the situation, Renji huffed as the chilly air nipped at his extremities. That was _cold_. So fucking cold.

He wanted to tell her to stop, but he couldn't speak. He wanted to rush to her side, but there was no way he could move. He didn't even know if he had the balls to actually do anything. What if it was something to do with Ichigo? Then he didn't want to know. What if... What if they did the unthinkable? All the more he didn't want to know that shit.

The moon was right in front of him. It was glowing with a crazy temper; pure and beautiful.

He closed his eyes.

He didn't have the guts to jump at it.

* * *

'What the hell is going on?!' Ichigo's attention was brought to the wooden floor of the corridor that was increasingly icing over. The trail was ascending from down the staircase, indicating that the source of this strangeness was emanating from downstairs. Although he was slightly miffed that his house - which he took pride in maintaining - was getting damaged, relief blossomed within him. He knew this type of power. Did this mean that Rukia was awake?

'Ichigo!' Orihime called after him. Her husband was already gliding down the stairs, but not before she was able to catch a glimpse of that joyous face. He was probably thinking the same thing she was - that Rukia had finally woken up. Interestingly enough, Orihime's features didn't mirror his expression at all.

Actually, she looked crestfallen.

But Ichigo had failed to notice that. He contained his excitement and continued on his way to the clinic section of his home. He completely ignored the glassy aesthetic of his living room and kitchen as he passed it, knowing full well that it was all Rukia's doing. It was certainly chilly, but he knew that the temperature would revert back to normal once Rukia called off her tantrum. Maybe she was trying to pull a prank. Either way, he'd let her have it later. But as for now, he was just so happy that she-

Ichigo stopped in his tracks.

Renji was on his knees, shaking like the last leaf on a wilting tree battling out a typhoon. If Ichigo thought the other parts of his house were bad, they were nothing compared to the patient room of the clinic. The ice was so thick, he almost slipped on it when he stopped walking. He was sure that when this all melted that he would have to attend to some water damage. The air was cool in the other rooms, but in here it was practically winter.

Rukia was sitting on the bed, her limbs protectively folded over her body. Crystallized dew drops shone like snowflakes in her hair, lighting up her midnight hair like stars in the sky. Her lips were reddening from the cold, highlighting the paleness of her skin that he knew would shine under the dim light of the night. She was absolutely stunning, but none of the aforementioned traits were what was at the top of his head right now. No, what was most distracting about her was that she had wings on her back.

Wings as black as her hair.

'Rukia...' Ichigo whispered without thinking. Upon hearing him call out to her, her raging sapphire eyes snapped to him. He met her gaze, but the look she gave him made his breath hitch in his throat.

After a few seconds of locking into each other, her eyes reddened as if she were about to cry. It wasn't like the time Byakuya took her away to Soul Society to be executed. It wasn't like the time she thought they were never going to see each other again after his shinigami powers disappeared either. It wasn't remorse or pity, or even sadness.

It was just pain. Genuine, rich pain as if looking at him was physically traumatizing her.

And to a certain extent, it was. Now fully equipped with the knowledge of their first encounter in the history of time, the sight of him in the flesh was even more agonizing than she thought it would be. It wasn't just that she was hurting. A million other emotions were flashing through her this very instant; anger, resentment, longing, fear.

Love.

She felt like she was a computer with too many programs running at the same time. On one hand, she wanted to hold him and tell him that she was sorry, and that she didn't blame him for what happened. On the other hand, she wanted to scream at him and demand to know if his feelings for her were ever real, since they apparently failed to bleed onto this lifetime. But in the end, she settled for just continuing to stare at him. Tears stung her eyes, but she wouldn't let them fall. No, her dignity had been stripped too far down for her to degrade herself any further. He wouldn't get it anyway.

He had forgotten all about her, about them.

'Ichigo!' Orihime burst into the room to join her comrades. She gasped at the scenario that greeted her. 'Rukia!' she screamed. 'W-What are those on your back?!'

But Rukia didn't even hear her. Seeing Orihime again was like being punched in the gut with a clunk of iron. Seeing another woman next to the man she once gave everything up for, having the reality that this person was now his wife and mother to his children, was too much all at once.

Rukia still wouldn't let the tears fall even though they were flooding the rims of her eyes now. But not out of jealousy or misery, oh no. She was so heated with rage that she thought the glaciered room would start heating. She had to let him go now, there was no choice. It wasn't fair to ask him to reciprocate her feelings. He was a new man now, with a new life. She knew it was the right thing to do. It was what she was _going_ to do.

She had never felt so _humiliated_ in all her life. So pissed and burning with the urge to just _kill_ somebody.

She tried to blink away the urge to cry, but it was futile. Her lips were starting to quiver and pulling back into a half-snarl half- _O_. Before the tears finally blurred her vision, she looked deeply into Ichigo's amber orbs and said her peace.

'Don't come after me.' she hissed. 'No matter what, don't come after me.'

 _I love you_ , she wanted to add.

But she just left it in her thoughts.

'Rukia, why-'

But with a wave of her hand, she was gone.

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you so much to everyone supporting this story! I know that this update took a while, but there were so many kinks that needed to be sorted out.

 **NieveDrop** and I have literally been messaging back and forth the entire day trying to sort it out. She's such a jewel, and so patient! Honestly, this story wouldn't be able to be what it is if it wasn't for her. Most of the material is plotted with her guidance!

Thank you to **MugetsuIchigo, blissbeat, Shirayuki992, anon, Luna-Dara, achalida, Kelisidina, Boomkarakarakara05, jobananasan, RukiYuki, NieveDrop,** and the **Guest** reviewer!

 **blissbeat** , no other lifetimes will be explored! But there is a reason for this. It will be explained in later chapters!

 **Shirayuki992** , the reason they've only had these two lifetimes will be explained in later chapters! I promise there's a reason behind it, which is very crucial to the plot. Hisana and Aizen's pasts will be revealed later as well. You're asking the right questions though! I gave a hint to Aizen's backstory in the beginning of this chapter. I hope you liked it!

 **anon** , Ichigo stabbed Rukia through the womb, ending her life and the baby's.

 **achalida** , I hope this chapter cleared up your questions!

 **RukiYuki** , I promise the baby's fate won't be pointless!

 **jobananasan,** you're also asking the right questions! Yes, the enemies were indeed the Quincies. Orihime's reactions will be more of a focus later on!

Thanks so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	9. Rage

_'It's so hot.' Ichigo wiped the sweat off of his forehead._

 _It was summer in the kingdom and it was the King's duty to see to it that the harvest was good every year. His predecessors would send spies to gather information on the status of the crops. The agents would then pen a comprehensive report to give to the King, who would choose his next course of action based on the findings. But Ichigo liked to go see the fields himself. More than that, he liked to actually converse with the farmers and give words of encouragement. He didn't necessarily like being treated as an authority. He saw himself as equal to any of his people._

 _So today, he was actually tending to the rice paddies himself._

 _At twenty years of age, he had five years of combat training under his belt - three of which were on the battlefield. He was pretty confident in his physical endurance and stamina._

 _But it certainly hadn't prepared him for this rigorous labor._

 _'Farming doesn't suit you.' a deep, feminine voice teased._

 _A vein threatened to pop in his head._

 _It was bad enough having a wake up call that he wasn't as fit as he thought he was, but his companion always had something snarky to say._

 _'Well, you should try it.' he countered. 'Let's see you try to look fabulous as you tend to these weeds.'_

 _He didn't want her to shoot back with a witty comment, so he left her side and went over to the lake. He crouched in front of it and washed his hands. It was such a warm day that even the lake was suffering. He was hoping it would be cold. He heard Rukia's footsteps drawing closer. Trying his best to ignore her, he then scooped up a handful of water in one hand and placed it over his lips._

 _'What are you doing, fool?'_

 _'I'm drinking.' he barked back at her. He swore, this woman was so condescending all the time!_

 _'Here.' she murmured, hovering her palm over the water cupped in his. She traced circles in the air with a rigid hand._

 _'What...' ruby eyes gleamed in delighted shock when he felt the water temperature in his palm drop._

 _'There.' she repeated, withdrawing her hand. 'Drink.'_

 _He took a refreshing sip of cool water, chewing little chunks of ice between his teeth. He eyed her cautiously, but she was oblivious to his amazement. He wondered if all the celestial maidens had this arctic ability, but decided that he wasn't interested in the others._

 _He was interested in her._

Ichigo's daily life was plagued by random flashes of a vivid dream.

He would always be interacting with one woman. She was the spitting image of Rukia from ten years ago, although her hair was snow-white and her eyes were a much lighter shade of blue. Just like the woman he knew in person, the woman that seemed to be a figment of his imagination had powers that were icy in nature. She didn't have a zanpakuto, nor did she don the uniform of a shinigami. She was always dressed in a white kimono made of a sheeny fabric he had never seen before. She looked like a storybook character come to life.

He assumed it was because he was bitter.

His mind was playing tricks on him. That had to be it. He wasn't sleeping well either, so it was probably a lack of rest for his brain as well. Or maybe it was a side effect from the pills he was taking. Whatever. It didn't matter. He'd deal with it when it became a problem.

Wasn't it already a problem?

'What did you do?' Renji asked softly.

Neither of the Kurosakis answered because they weren't sure who he was speaking to. Orihime thought he was speaking to her husband, but Ichigo didn't see a reason why Renji would ask him that question. So the inquiry was left hanging in the icy air, amidst the frozen clinic room left behind by Rukia's rage.

'Ichigo, what did you do?'

'What?' the human was confused. 'What do you mean?'

'I mean, what the hell did you do?!' he lunged at his friend and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. The orange-haired man's instant reaction was to grab at Renji's wrist painfully. The redhead didn't budge. His glare was piercing with pain. He looked as if he had been scorned by his lover. 'What did you do?! Why is she like this?!'

'The hell if I know! Renji, what the hell?! You sound crazy right now!'

'I... I'm going to go see the children.' Orihime muttered, hurriedly exiting the room. The tension was suffocating.

'She's my wife, you bastard. What have you done to her?!'

'Lower your voice, you fucking idiot.' Ichigo hissed back. 'Do you want your daughter to hear you acting like a lunatic?'

'Don't threaten me! Answer me! What have you done to her?!'

'I didn't do shit. _You're_ the one responsible for her well-being.'

'Oh, being a smartass, are we? You fucking-'

'You know what I walked into? She took half a bottle of sleeping pills.' he reached out and grabbed his friend by the shirt, pulling him closer so that the two men were almost nose-to-nose. 'Half a bottle. She was trying to sleep. Because _you_ weren't looking out for her, _you_ didn't do anything even though you knew how sick she's been. If anyone's to blame here, it's _you_.'

'Oh, please. Don't pin this on me. Don't play me like you're fucking innocent. You _love_ my _wife_ , don't you?'

Ichigo stiffened. His breathing shallowed and he scoffed without thinking.

But Renji smirked tightly with anger. Those surprised brown eyes told him all he needed to know. He suspected that Ichigo had fallen in love with Rukia ever since they clashed swords. He felt it in Zangetsu's strike - a strong need to protect, a deep emotional investment in the woman. And the way Rukia was absolutely taken with him. How deliciously she called out his name, how her eyes filled with tears at the sight of him wounded on the ground, blood mixing with rainwater.

It made Renji mad with jealousy.

'You love Rukia, don't you?'

Ichigo swallowed. He searched his comrade's eyes for any sign of that maybe he was joking.

No. Renji was serious. He was _furious_.

'How...' _How long have you known?_ 'How messed up of a question is that? Renji, please. Rukia's my friend.'

'You know, you brought she and I back together. Thanks for that. But you're also the reason we're torn apart now!'

'Renji-'

'You know what? She loves you too.'

Ichigo wanted to say something, but a senkaimon appeared.

* * *

'Rukia.' Hisana whispered with a mix of nervousness and delight.

As she glided over Karakura at the highest altitude she could, she managed to spot a figure in her likeness looking over the town from the hospital's rooftop. Hisana noted that her sister had much longer hair now, and that her wings were absent. This would be her first time seeing her long lost sibling after a ridiculously long time.

'Rukia.' she called a little louder, catching the attention of the younger sibling.

'Nee-sama.' Rukia mumbled impulsively. Her eyes were wide and disbelieving.

'Rukia!' Hisana tried not to squeal.

Nee-sama.

Rukia referred to her as _Nee-sama_!

Oh, it had been far too long since that magical title last graced her ears! Growing up, the pair had been inseparable. So without Rukia all this time, Hisana always felt a gaping hole in her heart that only her sister could fill.

She had been so lonely and guilty about her role in Aizen's failed experiment. She envisioned how she would apologize every single day in her head, imagining how Rukia would react and whether or not they could return to their sisterly dynamic after all that. Hisana must have composed a million scenarios, ranging from acceptance to rejection. And to think that this moment was finally happening, with Rukia still using the respectful honorific to refer to the older woman... It was looking pretty good! 'Ruki-'

'Nee-sama!' Rukia growled with the meanest snarl on her face. She extended her palm and charged a concentrated beam of illuminated ice at the floating figure.

'Rukia!' Hisana leaned to the side to dodge the attack. As if on command, Hisana broke out into a cold sweat then and there. She watched as the powered trail disappeared into the clouds before snapping her neck to Rukia to see if she was preparing for a second strike. To her surprise and relief, Rukia wasn't. Instead, she had her arms folded over her chest as she tapped her foot impatiently. A menacing scowled graced her usually soft features. Hisana gulped at the sight. Whatever came, she most definitely deserved it. Besides, she had been preparing for this moment for centuries now.

'Hurry up.' the wingless of the two narrowed her eyes.

'Rukia.' Hisana cleared her throat as soon as her feet touched the concrete. She retracted her white wings and tried to count to ten in her head to sedate the butterflies in her stomach. They were practically nipping at her insides now. 'I am very, very sorry for what I've done to you.'

'You should be!'

'And I _am_. I hurt you. I betrayed you. I thought I was protecting you, but I only destroyed everything you built. I will never be able to make up for any of that. And I will never be able to apologize enough for my sins against you.'

'Why didn't you believe in me? I told you that I _wanted_ to be by his side. I told you that I knew what I was doing! Why didn't you believe me? You're supposed to be my sister, my confidante!'

'Because I didn't understand. I _couldn't_ understand. Rukia, before then, I was never allowed to set foot amongst the humans. Humanity, feelings, _love_... They were just fairytales to me.'

'You should have believed in me!'

'I know.'

'You should have trusted me!'

'I know.'

'Why didn't you?!'

'I was scared, Rukia. I was frightened of the possibility that he would hurt you. He was human! Humans hurt each other, they _kill_ each other. And I couldn't bear the thought of that - losing my younger sister to a man she was in love with. I didn't know if he truly loved you back, or if he saw you as a means to power.'

'I _told_ you he wasn't like that! Why didn't you believe me?!'

'Nothing I knew of the humans at that point in time gave me any reason to believe that they were capable of such profound emotions!'

'Nee-sama, answer my question! Why didn't you trust me?!'

'Because back then, I thought you were too human! I thought that your vision was obscured by notions of love. I didn't think that you were able to see the situation objectively.'

'Whether or not I was "rational" enough was not your conclusion to draw!' Rukia's voice rose higher. 'My life was not yours to interpret! Those were _my_ experiences that _I_ lived through, not you! You're my sister, you should've supported me! No matter what, you should've been there for me!'

'I know, Rukia! I know!' Hisana was close to tears. 'That's why I left you in the Rukongai. I couldn't bear to be reminded of what I had done to you. I knew that I didn't deserve to be called your sister, and that's why I gave you up. I thought that anyone else who found you would be more deserving of that role. Because I...' she shook her head. 'I don't deserve that title.'

Rukia didn't respond. She felt a sharp tug at her heart, but she maintained her composure. It was so strange to see her sister like this, so... human. Not that Hisana had ever been stoic or emotionless per se. She was always warm and kind. But in all Rukia's memories of her, she lacked a certain fragility that only someone who had been through human experiences could possess.

It wasn't shocking. Rukia didn't have to ask her about it. She knew that this newfound likeness to humanity was because of her marriage to her ex-husband, who thought she was dead.

The thought was driving Rukia homicidal with madness.

'You know, at least you shared five years with your first love.' Rukia spat the sentence like a curse. 'I _died_.'

'But you both found each other again in this lifetime.' Hisana's tone was airy. The mere mention of Byakuya stirred precious joy within her. It was like his name was a trigger and now she was seeing the world through rose-tinted glasses. The situation now seemed romantic to her; for two lovers who had been crossed in their first existence to find each other again in another one. 'You truly are meant to be with that King.'

'He's not a King anymore.' the mother of one pointed a finger accusingly at her sister. 'Or didn't you know that?'

'Rukia...'

'He's a husband! And a _father_!' the last word was drawn out. 'And guess what, Nee-sama? I'm married and have a daughter of my own!'

'I-'

'Why did you bring me back?!' Rukia raised her arms and shouted at the skies, hoping Heaven would hear her. 'Why?! You should've destroyed my soul the minute it left my body! Why did you give me this second life?!'

'Ru-'

'I gave up everything!' her attention snapped back to Hisana. ' _Everything_!'

'I know.'

Hisana knew that there was nothing she could say to sponge her sister's anger, so she stayed still and listened to every word thrown at her. Rukia was in shock. It was as simple as that. She had just remembered all that she went through. She was in pain. She was angry, understandably so.

'I relinquished my position in Heaven. I willingly had sex with him, knowing that I was giving up more than my virginity - giving up my _immortality_! I gave up eternity for numbered days with him!'

'I know.'

'I did _everything_ to be with him.' Rukia continued, sauntering towards her sibling. 'I did absolutely everything I could. Did you know...' she took her sister by the wrist and guided her palm on top of her womb. 'That he was inside of me? That he said that he _loved_ me? And that his - _our_ \- baby was...' she trailed off but maintained eye contact with her sister.

Hisana observed those glossy sapphires redden and water. For the longest time, Rukia didn't even blink. She was scared that if she did, that a tear would fall and she would look weak. Eventually, she closed her eyes and tiny drops streaked down her cheeks. But she didn't cry any more after that. Her eyelids fluttered open slowly, revealing two cobalt orbs that were darkened by the fading light of orchid embers.

They stayed that way for a while. The two sisters looked at each other, not saying anything. Strange enough, it wasn't an uncomfortable silence. It was a serene interruption that allowed them to catch their breaths up to the present. It had been centuries since they last saw each other, and the realization that the mystery behind the creation of the Quincies was much more deeply tied into their past than Rukia initially thought before she remembered it all was a bit hard to swallow.

No wonder the Quinces were far too superior to other human beings. While Chad and Orihime were special with their own abilities, they weren't expected to live outrageously longer lives.

But the Quincies outlived generations of societies.

Of course they would. They were celestially endowed.

Rukia shook her head. She couldn't think about that. Not now. Her skull would crack with all this extra information.

'You can still be with him, you know.' Hisana whispered.

'No, I can't.' the younger sibling stated. She tried to sound matter-of-factly, as if the situation wasn't hurting her, but her relative could always tell when something was eating her up. The grief crept ever so slightly into her tone. 'I can't. Not anymore.'

'Why not?'

'He has a family.'

'But-'

'There's no "but" about it. He has a family. He's happy.' azure eyes lowered. 'It wouldn't be right for me to burden him with my feelings. Besides, I had a chance to be with him in this lifetime too. But it just wasn't meant to be.' she smiled sadly.

'How do you know he's happy?'

'Would he choose that life for himself if he wasn't happy?'

'I don't know. You know him better.'

'No, he wouldn't.' she sighed. 'Ichigo has always wanted to be normal. Orihime - his wife - told me that since he was young, all he wanted was to not see spirits. The only reason his powers amplified is because we met.' she shrugged. 'Had it not been for me, he would have gotten his wish to be just an ordinary man much sooner.'

'He's... Impotent?'

'No. He's still a shinigami.'

'Then what do you mean by "normal"?'

'A peaceful life. I wanted that too.' she added. 'I wanted that with him, but... Really, Nee-sama, it just isn't meant to be. I love him, but he's never felt the same way.'

'Where are all these assumptions coming from? How could you know that? Did he tell you so?'

'No, not at all. There's no need for us to talk. We've never really had to, to come to an understanding of each other. I could always read him pretty well. I thought he liked me, but...' she gazed up at the sky. 'Maybe you were right all along.'

'Eh?'

'Maybe he saw me as a means to power. Maybe he was grateful that I had _given_ him power. And so he treasured me in some way, but... Over time, that disappeared too. I faded into the background. I somehow thought that when he looked at me, all he could see was me. That's how he made me feel. But gratitude is not love. I know that now. When he was able to acquire power for himself, I suppose I was useless to him.'

'That... That doesn't sound likely, Rukia.'

'He doesn't visit me. I always have to come to him. You know, when I became captain of my squad, he didn't even show up to the ceremony.'

'Maybe he was busy.'

'Sure.'

'You can come home, you know.'

Rukia laughed at that. 'Home? How? I have a family here. I have Ichika. I can't just leave her.'

'But you can't stay for her either.'

'I have to.'

'This is your life.'

'I've had two lives now.' she waved her hand dismissively. 'I've had two chances.' she paused. 'So has Ichigo. In this second life, he's found what he's always wanted.'

'Rukia, can you just humour me for a second? Why do you keep saying that this is what he's always wanted? I don't understand. I get that he wanted to be peaceful, but who's to say he can't have that with you? There are many ways we can live out peaceful lives. He-'

'A wife and child.'

'Eh?'

'A wife. A child.'

'Rukia?'

'That what he's always wanted - a wife and child. He told me so.' she turned her back to her sister. 'He told me he wanted to marry me and have me bear his offspring.' she stretched her arms up and arched her back. She thought that the movement would physically relax her. She felt the tears coming on again. Her voice didn't waver. She wouldn't allow it to. 'Umm...' though she had to take breaks. 'I guess he got what he wanted, right?' her arms fell to her sides.

'Rukia...'

'I just hate that I'll never be able to look at Ichika without thinking of Ichigo. It's bad enough that I can't look at Renji in the eye anymore. Even taking care of Ichika was mentally exhausting enough without these memories. I look at her and I find myself wondering how Ichigo and Kazui are. How their bond is like, how proud Orihime must be to have given him such a beautiful boy. Even so, I tried hard to repress my feelings. But now, when I see Ichika, I'll just think about my baby.' she bit her lip. 'My baby that never stood a chance. My baby that could be breathing, walking, talking to me. If I could talk to my baby, I would say that I'm sorry.' she sobbed but covered her mouth with her hand.

 _I'm sorry, Ichigo. I can't let you go after all._

It was horrible enough living day-to-day with her circumstances. Now equipped with the knowledge of her history, she couldn't fathom what it would feel like to get through the day without wanting to rip her arm to shreds. She was so angry, frustrated, and sad all at once. She dreamt of being with Ichigo. She wanted that so badly. But he made his choices, and she made hers. There was no going back from that. There were too many people involved.

And he made his choice.

He didn't choose her.

Why would she confront him? Why would she force her feelings onto him? What if he didn't remember? Or worse, what if he remembered but chose to feign ignorance? Is that why he was so angry with her? Was he pissed at her for trying to push a second opportunity for them to be lovers?

She didn't even care anymore. At least, she didn't want to. There was no use mourning. The least she could do now was not get in his way, or in the way of those who were depending on her for their happiness.

The whole fiasco was disgusting. There was no other way to describe it. She felt sick to her stomach.

'Rukia...' Hisana walked over and hugged her sister from behind. 'I am sorry. I love you.'

'Nee-sama...'

'I love you so much. You're my pride and joy. How can I be of assistance to you? How can I make things better? I don't want your forgiveness, and I won't ask for it because I know I don't deserve it. But please, I beg of you - let me be of assistance to you.'

'I've forgiven you a long time ago.' she admitted, turning around to face her sister.

Hisana blinked twice, dumbfounded. 'So then... Earlier, why did you fire at me?'

'I forgive you, but you totally deserved that!' she squealed, hugging her sister.

'I did, didn't I?' she smiled warmly. Her eyelids lowered sympathetically and the sisters shared a minute that was reminiscent of the early stages of their bond.

Back when Rukia was still training under Aizen and would return to her sister's side at the end of the day weary and tired. She would never want to tell Hisana about it so that the more mature of the two would have no reason to worry. But Hisana could always tell which days had fatigued Rukia more than usual, and which days Rukia had been more satisfied with her accomplishments. What they had was silent, almost telepathic communication. Even now as they were wrapped in each other's arms, it was like nothing had ever happened. No hatred, no resentment.

'What will you do now, Rukia?'

'I've got to get back. Ichika's headstrong, but she looks for me before bedtime. She can't sleep otherwise.'

'You've still got some time. It's only the afternoon.'

'I suppose. But I left quite a mess back there. I've got to find some way to explain my outburst earlier.' she rubbed her temples. 'Ahh... This really is a bad day.'

'Wait. You're heading back?'

'That's my plan.'

Hisana winced. 'That... You can't do that.'

* * *

'Exiled?' Ichigo choked.

'That's right.' Isshin folded his arms over his chest. He had just stepped out of the senkaimon by himself. He prefaced the encounter by saying that Kyoraku initially intended to give the news himself, but Isshin volunteered to do so instead.

After Ichigo married Orihime, Isshin went back to Soul Society. It wasn't out of spite, but he just felt like he was no longer needed now that his son was old enough to care for his sisters. He was also concerned about Rukia. When Isshin and Masaki first started dating, his only other relatable companion was Kisuke. And even back then, the ex-scientist warned that whoever he put his hogyoku had to be watched closely. Isshin never quite understood that, but he thought it would be wise to follow that advice.

Besides, it was about time he return to his shinigami roots.

'What did she do?!' Renji demanded.

'That's not for me to say.'

'Dad, please.' Ichigo was fighting a bubbling anxiety. 'You have to explain.'

'Actually, son, I don't need to do anything. This is a highly confidential matter.'

'Dad, you can't be serious.'

'Fine. I'll just... I'll just head back on my own.' Renji groaned.

'What? Renji, what?'

'Ichigo, just leave me alone.'

'She's your _wife_!' Ichigo failed to suppress a growl. 'She could be in danger! How is this not a big deal to you?! You should be looking for her!'

'You're right, she _is_ my wife.' Renji snapped. 'So stay out of it!'

'Ichigo.' Isshin placed a hand on his son's shoulder. 'Stay out of this. This doesn't concern your family.'

Ichigo wanted to go off on both of them, but one look at his father silenced him. The old man was right. He was a family man now. He was a father, a husband. He had responsibilities. He had no business getting worked up over something like this, not if it didn't directly concern him. It would be irresponsible. He'd be allowing Kazui to feel the same loneliness Yuzu and Karin felt whenever he disappeared for an unspecified period of time.

'Dad...'

'Yeah?'

But it was Rukia. Rukia wasn't supposed to disappear like this. Rukia was always supposed to be around. She made the universe whole, she turned the Earth on its axis. Without her, without her, without her... There was no "without her"!

'You're right, Dad. I'll, umm... I'll step away from this one.'

Impotence.

He was powerless yet again.

He watched wordlessly as his father and friend disappeared behind the sliding doors of the senkaimon. Once he was alone in his clinic, he trudged up to his old room - Kazui's room. Yuzu and Karin were at university, so he knew they wouldn't be there.

It was nostalgic to enter his old room. He thought of Rukia living in his closet, of how much less lonely he felt knowing that that woman was a few feet away from him during the night. She gave him more than just power. She gave him companionship, hope, wisdom.

Love?

That was one he could never figure out.

'Hey, little guy.' Ichigo picked his son up. He cradled his child in his arms, bobbing him up and down soothingly. Kazui clung to his father like white on rice. The paternal bond was always a stronger one to this little boy. He loved his mother in equal measure, but his attachment to his father was unrivalled.

 _'No, Ichigo...'_

He shut his eyes and held his child closer. Why? Why did this have to happen again? Why was Rukia in his head once more? Why now? He wasn't in the proper headspace to deal with it right now.

 _'My baby! My baby! Please, don't... It hurts... My baby...'_

'Otou-san, can I play with you and Aunt Rukia later?'

 _'Ichigo... Our baby...'_

'Otou-san, why are you crying?'

'Sure, Kazui.' he managed. 'She'll be back.'

 _'Ichigo, we have a baby.'_

'She always comes back.'

 _'Sayonara, Ichigo.'_

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you so much to everyone supporting this story!

Thank you to **RukiYuki, blissbeat, BinaLove, Shirayuki992, Anon, , Cate-Deriana, NieveDrop, achalida, han-ichiruki,** and **jobananansan**!

 **Guest** , I'm so glad that this story was able to stimulate such an emotional response from you! Unfortunately, you have misinterpreted the text and made a few assumptions too many.

 **blissbeat** , that is exactly what Rukia is feeling. Your interpretation is spot on. Rukia's wings used to be white, but in this lifetime they've turned black. That will be important later on!

 **Shirayuki992** , I feel like at this point, Rukia is generally mentally stronger. I hope this chapter clears up a lot of her inner turmoil. She's grieving, but she respects Ichigo and the people around them too much to do anything. Ichigo's recollection is slower because Rukia was the one who experienced the shock of seeing him with a family so suddenly. On the other hand, Ichigo made a conscious decision to get to where he was. But his feelings are still ambiguous for now and I'll delve into them next chapter! The hogyoku and Urahara will play a part in this story. Thank you so much for your continued interest!

 **malea anne** , Ichigo will remember very crucial parts next chapter!

 **Cate-Deriana** , thank you so much for giving this story a chance despite the dodgy beginning! Really grateful for your support.

 **achalida** , Ichigo experiences a different kind of pain right now. He's trying really hard to move forward with his life, whereas Rukia has been more openly unhappy about it. She's not only lost the love of her life, but she has all these obligations as a Kuchiki and a captain. Those will play a part later on! And thank you so much, love you too always!

 **jobananasan,** HAHA oh my gosh you're hilarious! And no, I don't take that as flaming at all. I can see the comical side of it now. Renji did indeed see her wings! Rukia's powers and the fate of her gigai will be the in the first section of next chapter. You're asking all the right questions.

Thanks so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	10. The Thousand Year Grudge

**THE NIGHT OF RUKIA'S DISAPPEARANCE**

'Captain-Commander, I know you know something! Tell me! Please, so that I can understand this whole fiasco!' Renji pleaded from his superior, Shunsui Kyoraku. The head of the Gotei 13 remained silent as the lieutenant trembled to prevent tears from falling. The boy was evidently furious. Understandably so. He had no idea what was going on. Suddenly, his world had turned upside down and no one was being of any help to him about it.

It must be terrifying to be going through that all alone.

'Your frustration is warranted.' Kyoraku allowed. 'But let's get back to business, shall we? Regarding your testimony...'

'We've been going over what I said a million times now.' the redhead threw his arms up.

He was seated on a wooden chair in front of the Captain-Commander's desk. Three witnesses to this confidential exchange - Byakuya Kuchiki, Kenpachi Zaraki, and Soi Fon - were standing behind their subordinate at equal distances from each other. Their presence was instilled only to verify the happenings of the hour. But the more they were learning about the events that occurred in the human world, it was impossible not to gain some personal curiosity themselves.

Especially for the leader of the sixth squad, Byakuya Kuchiki. They were talking about his sister-in-law, after all.

'Like I said.' Kyoraku was struggling to maintain his composure. 'Your frustration is warranted. I understand that this is a stressful situation for you. But I need you to clarify the sequence of events you described in your testimony.'

'Fine.' Renji conceded with a low growl.

'Now, you left with Rukia-chan right after her coronation as captain to meet with Ichigo and his family. Then, you stayed overnight at the substitute shinigami's house...'

'Yeah.'

'Then in the morning, you wanted to take your kids to the park.'

'Yes.'

'But you left Rukia-chan at home because she was feeling sick.'

'She wasn't sick. Her back was hurting.'

'Alright. Then you got to the park, all of you, with the kids?'

'Yeah. Both of them.'

'Ok. And out of nowhere, Ichigo-kun decided to head back home alone?'

'It wasn't out nowhere. He wanted to check up on Rukia.'

'But he returned to his home alone, right?'

'Correct.'

Kyoraku cringed. That sounded sketchy as hell. 'I see. Then after a while, you and his wife follow him back with the kids?'

'After a good hour, yes.'

'Then-'

'Then Orihime and I walk into them canoodling on a bed.' he raised his eyebrows and flashed a tight smile. 'Sorry. Wanted to say that one myself.'

From the corner of his eye, Kyoraku saw Byakuya smirk.

'Anyway...' the interrogator continued. 'This is the part that confuses me. Past that point, I almost feel like you don't have a solid recollection of what happened. The story just kind of explodes.'

'I'm telling you the truth.'

'You told me that after you walked in on them, Ichigo-kun fled the scene with his wife and Rukia-chan woke up with wings on her back.'

'Yeah.'

An awkward pause. 'Don't you think that's a little vague?'

'What's vague about it? He left 'cause he's a pansy, and she sprouted wings. That's literally what happened. Oh!' he jolted. 'She also froze half the house. Without using her zanpakuto. So go figure.'

'Why didn't you speak to her about it?'

'She left before I could.'

'Isn't your shunpo faster?'

'That wasn't shunpo.' he grit his teeth together.

'What do you mean?'

'She wasn't running at an enhanced speed. She moved her hand a little and her presence simply vanished. Poof! Gone! It was like she teleported or something.'

'And you don't find this strange?'

'Of course I find it strange.' Renji bared his canines. 'It's _weird_. But even if I ask you what that was about, something tells me you aren't going to tell me. You're the one who exiled her after all - for no reason! So why would I seek answers from you about all this?'

Kyoraku kept silent, but made a conscious effort to soften his gaze. Everyone in the Seireitei knew just how much Renji loved Rukia. His heart belonged to that woman for an eternity. His devotion to her took up a large chunk of who he was, and he identified with that aspect of himself with pride. It was like his dream came true when they married each other.

So to be put in a situation like this...

The head of the Gotei 13 understood. He sympathized.

But he'd be damned if this became a bigger mess than it already was by allowing more players to be privy to this sick game.

'You may leave now.' he adjusted his floral kimono top.

The hot-headed member of the sixth squad didn't want to go. He wanted to stay and demand answers to questions that hadn't really formed in his mind. He wanted to scream, throw things, beat somebody up - he wanted to stop feeling this way, like he had been _rejected_.

He had stood there. In front of her. Unable to reach out to her or convince her to calm down. A demonic version of herself appeared before his very eyes. It was obvious that she needed help. But all he did was observe her in frozen fear after trying desperately to show her the same affection she craved from his rival, from the man that was most important to her.

Of course he'd never be able to reach the moon.

Of course his desperate howling wouldn't get her to so much as budge in his direction.

The moon was busy waiting for the sun to come up.

And he wasn't her sun. He already knew that.

But he _loved_ her.

'Thank you, sir.' his bruised soul mumbled before taking his leave.

Kyoraku propped his elbows up on the desk. He folded his hands and rested his chin on top of them. The three captains were still in the room, awaiting his next order. 'Soi Fon, Zaraki - you may go.'

'What a load of shit.' the burly figure yawned and stomped away. The petite chief of the Onmitsukido trailed by his side wordlessly. Once the pair had stepped out, she slid the door behind her to give the remaining two gentlemen their privacy.

'Wings.' Kyoraku whistled. 'Rukia-chan has wings. Can you imagine that?'

Byakuya didn't even acknowledge that he was being spoken to. He remained unmoving. His eyes were downcast and he gave no indication that his attention was elsewhere but in his own mind.

'Hey...' Kyoraku faced his junior. 'Are you alright?'

'Yes.'

'Then what's going on? Why aren't you saying anything?'

'The entire situation at hand fails to follow any logical rationale. Why are you so concerned that my sister has wings? Have you exiled her because you suspect that she is a bird and not a shinigami?'

Damn. Looks like Hisana didn't tell him anything after all.

Kyoraku scratched his beard in deep thought. He had hoped that Byakuya would be able to assist him in formulating a plan to pre-empt whatever it was that Heaven was planning. He had this nagging feeling that the foreign realm was plotting against them, but couldn't figure out why or how they would go about an attack without jeopardizing their spotless reputation of being mediating pacifists. The general idea was that if it didn't concern Heaven, then Heaven would not interfere or take part in irrelevant matters. And for exemptions when they did, they did so quietly. They were supposed to lack the aggression of the inhabitants of the other dimensions, but Kyoraku knew the truth.

Heaven was the most brutal of all.

The power to smite, punish, and condemn at will without the requirement of a reasonable foundation; that ability may belong to the jurisdiction of the purest world of celestial organisms, but it was an ability that undoubtedly corrupts even the most resilient of souls.

'I understand Rukia.' Byakuya continued. 'I understand why she is not allowed to enter the senkaimon. What I do not understand is Ichika being unable to do so as well. You exiled Rukia. Therefore, Rukia must be the suspect of a crime. How is it that even her daughter is dragged into this mess? So much so that she incurs the same punishment?'

'She's Rukia-chan's daughter.'

'And?'

'And that means that she poses a threat to Soul Society. She could be...' he shook his head. 'She can't be allowed back in here just yet, and I can't allow Renji to go be with her because it could just make matters worse for everyone.'

'This is such a big deal to you. What has my sister done?'

'Rukia-chan didn't do anything. She's not a criminal.'

'Then why is this happening?'

Kyoraku rubbed his temples. Talking to Byakuya was just giving him a migraine. 'I can't tell you that.'

'Then why have you asked for privacy with me?'

'I thought you might know something.'

'About what? I do not know anything. I do not probe, I do not ask. I simply accept the choices of my sister.'

Kyoraku chuckled. 'Are we seriously still salty about Rukia _Abarai_?'

Byakuya lifted his chin defiantly. 'I do not believe she is in love with that man. And even if she were, I would not approve of that union, had she come to me to talk about it first.'

'And why not?'

'Granted, I was a horrible brother. But he was a horrible comrade. He hurt her - physically. He swung his sword at her - a woman, a defenseless gigai, his supposed love of his life. Even the most heartless of shinigami have that one person that they cannot cut. And he _cut_ her.'

'He thought she committed a crime.'

'So did as well. We all did. Ichigo Kurosaki did. He knew it the best because she was charged with that crime because of him. Yet he chose to save her.'

'Are you implying that you'd rather your precious baby sister be in the arms of a human, umm... What was it that you used to call him? Oh yeah: brat?'

'I want Rukia to be with the man she loves, and who loves her back.'

'You don't believe she loves Renji?'

'After he abandoned her as soon as I entered the scene? If she loves him, it is sad to say that she is quite foolish. Why love that man, when the other man never gave up on her? Actually, he abandoned his family, friends, and even risked his life to get her back. The difference in the level of care between these two cases is impossible to ignore.'

'Man, you're one scary guy!'

'What?'

'I'm just saying!' Kyoraku laid his palms up in a surrender as he roared with laughter. 'If I was a young girl, I wouldn't ever bring any boys home to meet you!'

Byakuya shrugged the joke aside because he simply couldn't understand what was supposed to be so funny. Instead, he continued, 'Rukia these past five years has been a hollow version of what she used to be. It is almost like she had forgotten what was important to her.'

Forgotten?

Huh.

 _Wait._

Alarm bells were dinging at the back of Kyoraku's eyelids. His gut twisted sickeningly with the realization of what was actually going on.

Before his predecessor, Genryusai Yamamamoto, died, the old man had already arranged for the confidential files containing information that only he should be privy to to be locked in a vault bolted to the floor of the Captain-Commander's quarters. When he passed away, Kyoraku inherited all his belongings and was expected to always reside in those chambers. Eventually, the vault caught his attention and he unlocked it through manipulating his reiatsu. Perhaps Yamamoto anticipated his death and made it so that the vault would recognize his successor's reiatsu.

There was a lone folder hidden in the depths of the pitch-black safe. When he had flipped it open, it only contained one sheet of paper. Reading through its contents, he remembered feeling giddy. Like he had just been told the secret to Christmas. Oh, no, what he had uncovered was far more scandalous. But because he thought there was never going to be any use for it now that everyone had moved on with their new lives, he locked it back in the vault and forgot about it.

But _now_...

'Yes...' Kyoraku stared into space. 'Yes, she did forget...'

'Captain-Commander?'

'Maybe that's why.' Kyoraku stood up and grabbed the aristocrat by the wrist. Byakuya's face scrunched up in disgust, but chose to say nothing about it. Although this man was not nobility, he was still his ultimate superior.

'Captain-Commander, where are you leading me?'

'To my quarters. I have to show you something.'

'Captain-Commander, what-'

'I think you're right. Rukia-chan _has_ forgotten. But maybe she now remembers. That explains the wings, the powers... everything!'

'Tell me what is going on!'

'I will.' Kyoraku let go of him when they reached the front of his room. He slid the doors open and motioned for Byakuya to get inside. Once he closed the doors behind them, he headed over to the vault that he had chosen to hide behind stacks of books. 'Here.' he waggled the folder in front of the stoic man's face. Reluctantly, he took it but didn't open it.

'What is this, Captain-Commander?'

'The truth.'

* * *

 **ONE WEEK AFTER RUKIA'S DISAPPEARANCE**

'Otou-san, how long is Ichika gonna be staying with us?' Kazui beamed at his father from underneath the covers. Ichigo was just tucking him into bed, arranging an assortment of pillows around his offspring. Despite being crass in the battlefield, he was actually a very loving family man who wanted nothing but happiness and comfort for his child.

'I don't know.' the orange-haired man sighed. 'But be nice to her. I'm sure she must miss her parents.'

'No, she doesn't.'

'Kazui.'

'She sees them all the time!'

Ichigo hung his head. He wasn't about to argue. Ichika had been saying for quite some time now that Rukia was still around, even though that was evidently not the case. The poor child must have been seeing things. 'Alright. Just be nice to her, OK?'

'Yes, Otou-san.'

'Good.' he kissed his son's forehead.

'Otou-san...'

'Yeah?'

'Do you love me?'

'More than anything.' he smiled.

'And you love Okaa-san too, right?'

'Yeah.'

'But do you love Okaa-san the way you love Oba-san?'

'You mean Rukia?' he swallowed involuntarily.

That was a very specific inquiry to make.

It was making him nervous.

Why would his son ask him such a thing? Actually, why was he being anxious about it? He never cheated on Orhime, and never gave Rukia an opportunity to suggest that she had feelings for him, if she had any at all. If he said so himself, they were pretty good at veiling over the complex web of hurt that now comprised their friendship. Especially in front of the children, who didn't deserve to How could a young boy be so astute to the dynamic they so meticulously attempted to gloss over?

'Yes! Rukia Oba-san!'

'Of course not.' he laughed forcibly. 'I love your Okaa-san. I can't love Oba-san, she's just a friend!'

'But can't you love your friends?'

'Sure. But I mean-'

'I'm asking because I feel like you don't love Oba-san. And I think that's making her a little sad...'

The older of the two tilted his head quizzically. His eyebrows furrowed and amber orbs widened disbelievingly. What an unusual observation to make. Was Kazui seeing things? Because Ichigo didn't feel that way at all. No, it seemed like Rukia had moved on years ago. After all, she went ahead and had a family of her own. 'What makes you think that?'

'Because Ichika and I think that Oba-san loves you more than an Oba-san should.'

'Kazui, that's not true.'

'I think you hate Oba-san for feeling that way.'

'Kazui, don't concern yourself with adult problems. And that's not true. I could never hate her. She's very important to me. You know what she's done for me, for all of us. You know that we wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her.'

'But Otou-san, you don't look at Oba-san the way you look at Oka-san because you don't even look at Oba-san anymore. Ichika thinks she's lonely. I think so too. I think Oba-san is all alone.'

'Kazui, Rukia is stronger than you think she is.'

'Oba-san doesn't depend on you like Oka-san does. So how would you know if she's really hurt inside? Oba-San does things by herself, even though it hurts. Ichika said that Oba-san is really like that; she does things on her own and doesn't tell anybody. One time, Ichika went to Oba-san's bedroom because she had a nightmare and saw her crying. But when Oba-san saw Ichika, she stopped crying and pretended to not be sad.'

'That... That sounds like her.' Ichigo conceded. His heart warmed at the image of Rukia swallowing up her sorrow to come to the aid of her daughter. That woman never changed one bit. She was still as self-sacrificing as ever. He wished that she would take care of herself more, but that selfless nature of hers was one of the reasons he simply could not get over her. 'But I don't think your Oba-san's alone. She has Ichika, your Renji Oji-san, us...'

'I don't think she feels like she has us. I don't think you want to be there for her either.'

'Huh?'

'You fight more with Oba-san. You get mad at Oba-san. You ignore Oba-san. And Oba-san looks hurt when you do that.'

'No, Kazui, we've always been that way. I'm sorry that it bothers you. But when she and I first met, we were already rowdy with each other. That's just how we've always been.'

'And you're friends with each other? Otou-san, you tell me not to be friends with people that hurt me. So why does Oba-san get to be your friend when you hurt her?'

'I'm not hurting her.' Ichigo was panicking.

He knew that Kazui was always an intelligent boy, but the level of perception he was displaying at the moment was that of a gifted prodigy. Or perhaps they were simply innocent remarks that the adult was taking too hard because although he tried to deny it, a big part of him felt so _guilty_ about sabotaging their bond. He was naive to think that marrying Orihime wouldn't change the dynamic between them. Had Rukia not reciprocated his feelings, the situation wouldn't be so awkward now. He knew that, and yet there was no way he could just walk away from this life he had chosen for himself.

His feelings for Rukia were as powerful as ever. He couldn't call it friendship, but he gave up on the idea of it being love a long time ago. He still felt a head-spinning connection to her, a security that only she could provide him.

But it just wasn't worth giving everything up for her.

No, not anymore. Not with Kazui. Not with Orihime.

Too many people were depending on him.

'Good night, Kazui.' Ichigo ruffled his son's bright hair. 'Don't think too much. I'll see you in the morning.'

'I love you, Otou-san.'

'I love you too.'

Ichigo stood up from the side of the bed and closed the lights before shutting the door behind him. He leaned against the mahogany and sighed deeply. That was a stressful conversation to have. He felt like he was being interrogated in the highest court. He felt like a witness on the stand, a criminal who had to explain himself to the jury.

He was wracked with guilt over Rukia leaving - why? He had been trying to brush away the feeling for a while now, but he couldn't shake off the idea that he was somehow involved in that. The way she looked at him - like he had taken her world and crushed it in his hands right in front of her - embedded on his mind.

His gut felt like his insides had been scooped out. _Fuck_. Why did she look at him that way? Like he _hurt_ her?

He couldn't bear it.

 _'Ichigo...' she groaned, gliding her fingertips over the sword lodged into her womb. 'Ichigo...'_

The thunderous pattering of the rain outside was static to his mind. It was uncomfortable, but there wasn't much he could do about it. Truthfully, he was sort of thankful that there was a constant interruption to the random scenes playing out in his head. He was seriously considering the notion that he was developing symptoms of mental illness. It must be due to all the stress he was in. There was no other explanation.

It was always the same damn choreography too; a woman that was the spitting image of Rukia, save for her silvery sheen, painfully muttering something about a baby and calling his name as a metal weapon pierced through her.

It was fucking terrifying.

It felt so real. He could smell the coppery sweetness of her blood mixed with the sweat and anguish of the battlefield, he could hear the screams and cries of at least several hundred soldiers surrounding them, and he could even feel his own soul crack every time it played in his mind.

 _Fuck._

Rukia told him not to come after her. She commanded him to stay put. He had to have confidence in her. Maybe she knew what she was doing. Perhaps this would all blow over soon.

He wanted to have faith in her.

'Ichigo.' a voice interrupted his thoughts.

He turned around to see who it was. A pathetic plea at the back of his head hoped that it would be Rukia, but it was just his wife. Her long hair, which was usually tied up in a loose ponytail, was now free flowing to show off its voluminous shape. She was already in her pink pyjamas. She was normally asleep at this hour. Why was she up? 'Orihime. What-'

'Even my own son.' she started darkly. 'Even my own son is rooting for you and her to get together!'

'Orihime.' Ichigo rubbed his temples. 'Are you serious right now?'

'What you're doing is wrong.' she accused in a shrill tone, walking over to him. Her hands came up to his chest, clothing his black dress shirt with an iron grip. He paid no mind to that, but knew that nothing would become of them if he lost his shit. He used to love it; her sensitivity. He used to love having motivation to be kinder, gentler. But at times like this, it was just exasperating to have to bottle up his own vexation to ensure the sanity of another person. He couldn't begin to image what would happen if he dared bite back at her.

'Tell me then.' he responded cooly. 'What am I doing that's so wrong?'

'You have me. And Kazui. But it's not enough for you.'

He chuckled humourlessly. _Here we go..._

'You promised me.' tears pool in her eyes. 'In front of the priest. You said we'd be together forever.'

'And we will. Nothing's changed.'

'That's the problem!' she hissed, the tears now streaking down her cheeks. 'I thought that over time, I'd be the only woman you ever looked at!'

'Orihime, please think about this for just one second.' he was getting irritated. Before they were married, he never had a chance to spot her rampant insecurity. But now it was driving him insane. He never would have guessed that a woman as unmistakably beautiful and well-mannered as her would even find reason to be uncertain of so many things. She was blessed with everything in the world. So why the lack in confidence? 'You were my first and only girlfriend. You're my _wife_. What are you talking about?'

'But you never loved me. Not like-'

'Stop.' he raised a finger. 'Don't go there. I don't know how many times i have to tell you that I don't fucking love her, OK? She's done a lot for me. She's been there for me. But what we have is platonic.'

'Then why is she your everything?! Why are you broken when she's gone?! Why aren't you the same Ichigo that I love when she isn't here?! Do you know horrible it's been, having to endure your moodiness, watching you beat yourself up inside, without you ever opening up to me!? The only time I can glimpse that strong, powerful man I fell in love with is when she's around and you're avoiding her eyes!'

'Endure my moodiness?' he palmed his chest like she just electrocuted him. 'Me? What about you? Over and over, you talk about this stupid obsession with Rukia! One minute, you love me, you're sweet, you're kind. The next minute, you throw a tantrum! Why are you crying? There's nothing to cry about!'

'Why can't you just admit that what you and Rukia have is special?! Why can't you admit that she does things for you that I can't?!'

'Orihime, enough.'

'Ichi-' she was cut off by him lightly grabbing her by the shoulders.

'Not where Kazui can hear.' he whispered, leading her into their bedroom. He locked the door and raised his hands in surrender. 'Orihime, enough. I don't like this topic. I don't want to discuss anything related to Rukia with you.'

'Is Ichika even Renji's?'

 _God._

'Fuck me.' he rubbed his face vigorously. That pissed him off. His heart was racing out of anger. He didn't like feeling this way, especially not towards his wife. But she was egging his rage on. He asked her numerous times now to just drop it, but her jealousy knew no bounds. It was fucking ridiculous. He had done everything to make sure that she had no grounds to be this way; ignoring Rukia, never asking about Rukia, showering Orihime with affection even on days when he just wanted some alone time.

'Is she, Ichigo?' her bottom lip quivered. 'Is she yours?'

 _'Ichigo...' she groaned, gliding her fingertips over the sword lodged into her womb. 'Ichigo...'_

 _She smiled through the pain._

'I-I've never...' he stammered. His tongue was numbing. He felt light-headed.

Was the room spinning?

 _'My... Our...' she choked and tears fell._

'Ichi-nii?' Karin knocked. 'Ichika wants me to sleep with her and Yuzu tonight. Just so you know, in case I'm not in my room.'

 _I'm sorry_ , _he wanted to say, but it was impossible to speak or think with his dying lover in his arms._

 _I'm sorry._

 _I love you._

 _I didn't mean to._

'Ichi-nii?'

 _I'm sorry._

 _I love you._

'Ichigo!' Orihime tried to catch him, but he fell to the ground.

 _I'm sorry._

 **. . .**

'Who the hell are you?'

'Is that any way to greet a guest?' Rukia's frosty eyes gleamed. She sauntered confidently along the red-carpeted leading up to his throne, her silvery kimono trailing behind her with the brilliant twinkle of snowflakes whirling amidst a blizzard. The guards of the palace were frozen in place, an invisible force paralyzing them.

The King was unaffected by this unseen power, but he wasn't about to charge recklessly at this stranger.

Friend or foe? What was she?

'Who the hell are you?' he repeated, finally standing up to meet her halfway. She stopped in her tracks and waited for him to approach her. He didn't unsheathe his sword. He didn't even so much as touch her. He simply stood before her, scarlet eyes darkening in suspicious and looking all the more intimidating with the frame of his long, black hair around his face. 'Are you deaf?'

She stifled a laugh.

'Answer me, intruder. Who the hell are you? What are you doing here?'

'I've come to answer your prayers.' she grinned.

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you so much to everyone supporting this story!

Thank you to **RukiYuki, Shirayuki992, blissbeat, Luna-Dara, achalida, Anon, hey, Cate-Deriana, jobananasan, Frost, E-kingmoney,** and some **Guest** reviewers!

 **Shirayuki992** , Orihime's tired of his hot-and-cold approach too, mainly because it gives her reason to believe that there are romantic undertones to Ichigo's feelings that he's trying to suppress. That's something I tried to explore in this chapter. Isshin will play an important role in this story!

 **jobananasan** , I laughed so hard when you said "UFC style"! Too funny. But all those motivations you mentioned for them potentially fighting is going to come up later. Isshin will have more appearances in this story and he will eventually play an important role. The hogyoku may or may not have played a role in triggering her memories. The hogyoku's origins will be explained. As hurt as Rukia is, I don't think it would have been very in-character for her to rage out on her sister! Rukia has always struck me as very self-sacrificing and understanding - often too a fault! Yes, I will be bringing in Uryu! He deserved better. The voices in the Ichigo/Kazui scene were just that - voices. Ichigo will only start regaining full comprehension of his memories next chapter. Yes, it is because Rukia is now neither angel nor human. She has shinigami abilities in her as well now. The ramifications of this will play an important part in the story.

 **blssbeat** , next chapter I'm going to start exploring Ichigo's memories from the very beginning! I hope this pleases you!

 **Guest** , I've discussed this with NieveDrop and she was very convincing and saying that Ichigo is older now and he's a family man. He's more mature. He has different priorities. He wants to have faith in Rukia. But you'll see how his decision not to interfere changes after he regains his memories.

 **Anon,** hope this explains Ichika's whereabouts. I'll be expanding on the children later on. Assume the children are five years of age.

 **hey** , no! Those types of comments never bothered me. When I was thirteen, I got into the fashion industry and received much harsher personal attacks that I just had to shrug off. Words don't shake me.

 **Frost** , your English is lovely, don't even worry about it!

 **E-kingmoney** , wow thanks for clearing that translation up! That makes me feel a lot better about this ship.

 **Cate-Deriana** , thanks so much for noticing that! I find that it helps me keep the characters more believable to their true personalities. The following chapters will be much more plot-heavy.

Thank you so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	11. The Thousand Year Grudge II

'You show up here last night with a shitty explanation that makes no sense whatsoever.' Ichigo complained, and Rukia was visibly irritated by his crass language.

It didn't help that she was already annoyed by the fact that he entered her space while she was resting. She sat on her bed, the white robes she wore that were the staple attire in Heavin in disarray and a deep frown etched onto her features from her rude awakening. He had just barged in without knocking and seated himself on a wooden chair that he pulled up from her dresser.

What a rude King.

'My explanation was perfect.' she crossed her arms over her chest.

'It was shit! You expect me to just believe you without question. Then, you sleep through the entire evening without a care in the world in this chamber that I've provided for you. Don't you think you're getting too comfortable?'

'A little.' she allowed, cautious of her new "assignment." 'But it doesn't deter my abilities to advise you. You are, after all, my first assign-'

'And stop referring to me as your assignment! I don't even know what the hell that means!'

'Well, aren't you snippy?'

'I'm not snippy, I'm confused. Do you really expect me to believe that a celestial maiden is down here, on Earth? I bet they don't even exist!'

'You fool! You pray to Heaven and yet you do not believe in celestial entities?!'

'Well, I've never seen one before. And if I haven't seen something, then I can't believe in it.'

'Even if you don't believe me, I can't leave until my job is done.'

'I never said outright that I don't believe you. I kind of do. The only reason I sort of buy your folktale is because of your _wings_.' he said the last word with a snarl.

Oh, yes! Her wings.

They towered behind her magnificently. Her feathery appendages were grand and snowy. Each separate pinion measured longer than her actual height so that it was no wonder how easily they carried her up in the sky. When she descended from the heavens, the spectators on the ground either cowered in fear or remain paralyzed in awe. They thought it was a joke. They tried to make sense of it. Never before had they seen a creature like her, nor did they believe such a being actually existed.

Which was why for Ichigo, he felt compelled to at least bring up the most unique characteristic of her in conversation right this very instant. Of course, there were other physical aspects that supported her claim that she was not a normal human being. Her skin had a luminous aura that made her glow, her short hair looked like it had been threaded with silver, and her large eyes had a glossy sheen to them. It was like she had just stepped out of a fairy tale.

He couldn't decide if that made him uncomfortable or intrigued. Either way, he had to bring those damn wings up.

'Do they bother you?' she asked as if she read his mind.

'No. I just...' he searched for the right words. 'I've never seen them so big. And on a human...'

'I'm not human.'

'Well, you greatly resemble a human woman.'

'I beg to differ.' she lifted her chin defiantly and flapped her wings.

'C-Can you, umm...' he stammered. 'Can you put those things away?'

She nearly toppled over in disbelief. The poor thing was practically frightened of her.

'Fine.' she rolled her eyes and with a snap of her fingers, her feathery accessories twirled, narrowed, and disappeared. He was visibly calmed by their disappearance. His rigid shoulders slumped slightly and his breathing had normalized. With that out of the way, he leaned forward as if to get a closer look at her.

Now that he could really inspect her features, he noted that even her eyelashes and eyebrows were the same metallic white of her hair. The clips on either side of her head had to be made of ice. They glistened with the fragile brilliance of a glacier, but showed no signs of melting. Were they enchanted? The very garments she wore appeared to be charmed with a glamour spell. They had to be. To his limited knowledge of fashion, there was no fabric that gave off that otherworldly incandescence.

This woman looked like she was completely frozen over.

It was just as he thought. She actually was telling him the truth. There was no way she was human. At the very least, she was a fairy or sprite. But a messenger of Heaven; that he couldn't wrap his head around. Wasn't all that religious jargon just make-believe anyway?

Come to think of it, _she_ kind of looked make-believe.

'Why are you here?' he mumbled without thinking.

'I told you.' she started, her eyes never leaving his. 'I've been sent here to help you.'

'To help me _what_?! And sent by who?!'

'Look.' she shifted on her bed. She was getting impatient. 'You pray to Heaven, do you not?'

'I do.'

'And in your recent prayers, you asked for strength, did you not?'

'I did.'

'And how did you suppose that would happen? How did you think your wish would be granted? You'd wake up one day and have all the answers pop into your head out of nowhere?'

'Well... No. To be honest, I didn't ask for those things thinking that they would actually be "granted" or anything like that. Praying is just a form of meditation for me. But even if that were the case, that still doesn't explain what the hell you're doing here!'

'You're trapped in your current situation because you have no idea how to navigate yourself out of it. That's because you're human. You're prone to committing human error. You're emotional, impulsive - those aspects of a mortal personality don't bode well in negotiation tactics. We in Heaven have been briefed on all the major events that have happened in your world. We know of your mistakes, and of your successes. I anticipate what you cannot. With this knowledge of mine that transcends time, I can help you. I can coach you through this.'

'Are you calling me stupid?' he looked offended.

'No! Just... Young and inexperienced, I suppose.'

'How dare you!'

'Look.' she was losing her shit. This man was making matters more difficult than they should be. 'I don't want to argue with you. I don't want to sabotage what you're trying to accomplish. I would like to help you. So, let me _help_ you get out of this hostile relationship with the neighbouring country. Does that sound like a good deal?'

'What do you get in return?' he eyed her suspiciously.

'Nothing. I'm just doing my job.'

'And you guys answer all prayers?'

'No.' she smirked. 'So you could say you're special.'

'Is that so? So then... Why me?'

This is Heaven rewarding you for your good character and faith in the unknown.'

* * *

Having Rukia around was like having a cat. A very mouthy, hot-tempered cat.

She was highly opinionated and didn't hesitate to call him out when their perspectives didn't align. That was the case more often than not. He would bite back out of irritation because he was high-prided and thus didn't like to be corrected or taught.

But even he had to eventually admit that her advice was helpful. She came from a place of compassion and coached him on how to remain astute to the needs of the opposition. She implored him to understand where they were coming from while highlighting that although their justifications for their actions didn't absolve them of their aggression, the only way to view the situation objectively was to educate oneself in the history leading up to the positions of both parties.

Ichigo's kingdom was going through some tough times. The soil of the land was infertile and mother nature was not so kind, plaguing the people with decades of harsh winters and scorching summers. Not having adapted to the extreme weather, many died of sickness or fatigue. The population was dwindling and the country was unable to sustain itself when previously its economy thrived on agriculture and cheap labor.

The only course of action was to import goods.

Unfortunately, the nation was not in good political terms with the only other government within these lands. Otherwise, Ichigo would have to do business with foreigners across the seas. Not only was the duration of that excursion at least a couple of months, but there was a language and cultural barrier. No translator was familiar with their tongue, so communication would be next to impossible.

So really, the only option was to bite the bullet and see to it that political ties with the neighbouring country were promising. This was a bitter decision for Ichigo to make. Ever since he was a little boy, he already had a distaste for that nation. They had yet to abolish slavery and were notorious for sending platoons of archers in the dead of night to infiltrate the villages and kidnap more unsuspecting individuals with the purpose of turning them into free-working labourers. When accused, they feigned ignorance. And what was the royal family to do? They didn't have proof. But in their hearts, they knew what was happening right under their noses.

It was disgusting.

However, the last abduction happened almost a year ago now - when Ichigo took the throne.

Beneath his scarlet gaze, he saw atrocities that warranted no mercy. He assigned threefold the original set of guards surrounding the borders. Any invader was to be placed in the dungeon with the details of their identity forwarded to the supreme courts of the foreign nation, who were forced to accept responsibility for the actions of their assets-turned-liabilities.

Ichigo sent a telegram to Ywach, their King, warning him that such actions would be met with zero tolerance in the future. Allowing the criminals to be extradited was his idea of being gracious. The next time - should there be a next time - would be met with the harshest punishment.

Since then, the two lands have not interacted whatsoever. No trade, no meetings, and no acknowledgement that the other even existed.

Initially, the reception of the people was positive. They praised Ichigo for setting his foot down and finally ridding their society of abuse from those outsiders.

But there was still the long-standing issue of the environmental disaster that was slowly killing them. Soon enough, the citizens began condemning their King for his inefficiency in dealing with _that_ problem. It pained Ichigo because he wished he could do more. He wanted to protect his people, but there was really nothing to be done. He couldn't will the air to calm the winds of winter, or alleviate the heat of summer. He was only human, after all.

The only thing he could do was pray. He prayed for his people. He prayed for his dying land. And he prayed for strength.

Every day, without fail, for months on end - all he did was pray at night and go about his work in the morning.

His consistent devotion to the betterment of his world moved Heaven. It was decided that Rukia be sent to guide him amidst this crisis. Surely it could be fixed. There was nothing to be done about the natural course of climate change, but the Council was confident that one of their best angels would have no difficulties providing the human King with some clarity in the situation.

Which, of course, she did.

The pinnacle of her guidance was when she instructed him to get in touch with Ywach once more.

Ichigo's jaw dropped to the floor. He told her that that would be an insulting waste of time. He reasoned that Ywach and his countrymen were no good, that they would bring about destruction and that there was absolutely no way anything worthwhile could come out of a discussion with that ingrate. Sparking conversation with Ywach about trade or anything else would be symbolic of Ichigo going back on his word to protect his own country.

There was the past to think about. Slaves, abductions, tortured prisoners - that was only the gist of it!

But Rukia said that the past was the past. They had to move forward. And to do that, they had to work together.

And the first course of action was to call for a peace talk.

Ichigo was hesitant at first, but eventually gave in. Surprisingly, Ywach was receptive to the idea. The exchange between the two men was always laced with suspicious and a healthy amount of fake courtesy, but the important effect to come out of it was that Ichigo's kingdom could now import produce from Ywach's country.

Somehow, Ichigo still couldn't shake the feeling that something was terribly wrong.

But that experience had certainly raised his confidence in Rukia. He trusted her more and genuinely heeded her advice with even the smallest matters. Even when he knew exactly how he wanted to proceed with a topic, he still sought her opinion because he valued it. She enabled him to see sides that he would otherwise be blind to. She had such a wholesome understanding of so many subjects, and he was thankful that this intelligent woman had become his mentor of sorts.

Unbeknownst to him, Rukia was drawn to him more and more each and every day.

She had studied human beings for as long as she could remember. Heaven had jurisdiction over the human world, so she was required to familiarize herself with their behaviour. A huge aspect of that review was coming to terms with the fact that humans were inherently selfish. Inevitably, their actions would be dictated by the need to fulfill their own personal agenda rather than to benefit the greater good. Consequently, the petite lady developed a rather pessimistic view on the mortal species.

She grew up wanting to emulate nothing human.

But Ichigo was different.

He was selfless to a fault. The only greedy element about him was that he had a desperate desire to protect those around him. So much so that his pride would take a colossal hit when he failed to achieve that. But even that was still him thinking about others' safety before his. He pushed himself to great lengths just to do what was necessary to ensure the wellbeing of his countrymen.

Ichigo was beautifully human. Rukia was cooly detached.

They sat on opposite ends of the spectrum. Coming together was a euphoric completion of a broken whole.

Their admiration and curiosity of one another resulted in an electrifying chemistry that could not be replicated with anyone else.

Before they knew it, they were falling in love.

Rukia had no idea what that meant at first. As far as she knew, she was reacting appropriately to her "assignment." All she was really aware of was that she loved spending time with him and stopped thinking about returning to Heaven. She always liked to plan ahead and be prepared for what was to come, but she found herself relaxing more often. Rather than think about the future, she lived in the present.

Little by little, he taught her what it meant to be human. She was enjoying the human world and all the experiences it had to offer. She was relishing every second she spent with him, having finally found a place she felt like she truly belonged to - his side. Being with him gave her a profound happiness that made her feel like she was floating from reality.

She was happy.

Then it started to hurt.

The first time a pang of pain pierced her was during a ride in the carriage with Ichigo. She was gazing out at the window and caught a glimpse of a couple kissing in the marketplace.

She knew what kissing was. She knew that it was essentially preamble to sex, which was how humans preserved their species. But witnessing that intimate display of affection struck a chord in her that shook her to her bones. The way they pulled away and looked into each other's eyes only to breathlessly kiss again - there was a love in those hazy orbs that she recognized a little too well.

In Ichigo's eyes. And in her own.

Without thinking, she tore herself away from her accidental voyeurism to look at Ichigo. He was staring right back at her, knowing exactly what she was thinking behind those soulful, frosty eyes. He saw what she had seen. And he had the same flurry of emotions running through him.

They knew they loved each other. There was no need to say it. They could feel it in their day-to-day life. They could feel it in the way the world fell silent when they weren't together. They could feel it in the way nothing felt right without each other.

Nothing had to be said. It was all felt.

Ichigo extended his arm out to touch her and she didn't move. His fingertips grazed the impossibly soft flesh of her cheek, and he shuddered at the first real feel of her he got. She leaned into his palm, her watering eyes never leaving him. Magnetized by the lonely look she was giving him, he slowly slid towards her. When he got so close that she could feel his breath on her forehead, she backed up until her head hit the glass of the door. That didn't deter his advances. He leaned downwards, lifting her chin up with one hand as the other found its way to intertwine with her fingers. His lips edged closer to hers and every fraction of a second felt like a century to her.

Just do it. Just-

They hit a bump on the road, and they both jolted away from each other.

Needless to say, the rest of that trip was thick with tension.

For the following three days after the fact, they avoided contact with each other altogether. Every time they passed by one another in the halls, Rukia would turn on her heel and go in the opposite direction. He knocked on her door once or twice a night to see if she was doing well, but she never let him in or even let him know that she was inside. He'd try and come to her in the mornings, but found that his own cowardice was an unforeseen obstacle.

He was brainstorming endlessly about the nature of their relationship. He cared for her deeply, in a way he couldn't really describe. It definitely wasn't friendship because no friend could ever make his world rotate the way she could. And he couldn't quite call them lovers because nothing had happened between them.

Finally, he had had enough.

On the fourth day, he set his sights on the ocean, mainly because it reminded him of her. He thought about the memories they had made thus far, and tried to envision what life would be like without her. What if she were a blank? What if she were to be completely wiped off of the face of the Earth? What if she went back home, far away where he could never reach her? What if no one but him remembered him?

He nearly thought himself into a panic attack.

When he returned home, he opened the vault bolted onto the floor of his bedroom. Inside were letters given to him by his parents, who had been long gone. They left him with no siblings and a mountain load of responsibilities.

In the farthest recesses of the safe sat three velvet boxes. Each individual container housed one pearl each. His mother told him when he was a teenager to give one each time he fell completely, utterly in love. She joked that because she could only give him three pearls that he had only three chances to find the right woman.

But he didn't have to explore anymore. He knew who the right woman was.

So in the evening after he freshened up and rehearsed an uncharacteristically romantic speech in his head a dozen times, he sauntered over to Rukia's chamber. He knocked a couple of times, but to no avail. He seriously considered just tucking his tail between his legs and scampering back to his room. Instead, he took a deep breath in and said in a stern voice, 'If you don't open this door, I'll get rid of all the rabbits in the forest.'

Without further ado, he heard the nerve-wracking pattering of footsteps heading his way. She swung the door open and attempted to glare at him ferociously. He saw right through her facade. She was evidently anxious about having to confront him again. Although it had only been a few days, there was a surprising relief that swept over him when he gazed into those icy eyes once more. He went numb for a few seconds, overcome with the same desire that he felt in the carriage ride to reach out and touch her.

'Rukia-'

'I don't want to talk about it.' she hissed, though her voice was shaky. 'Whatever you think happened, didn't. So... Let's not misinterpret each other.'

He wanted to bark back and accuse her of being a damn weakling! He knew already. He knew that what they felt for each other went against who they were supposed to be. It was a miracle that their paths even collided. Even so, there was no way he could turn back now. It wasn't fair. How was he supposed to run away from this? When she changed his world and effectively become it?

'You and Ywach are starting to get on better terms.' she continued. 'Soon, I'll leave.'

His gut twisted sickeningly.

'So just...' her voice cracked. 'Just leave me alone.'

Rather than say something, he stayed still. The only sounds emanating were from their breathing. It was deafening. She wanted to slam the door shut and go to bed. She had never been in a situation like this before. The awkwardness and tension was mind-splitting.

'Rukia...' he finally said, raising his fist right in front of her.

She arched a brow. Why was he presenting his knuckles to her?

'For you.' he opened his palm to reveal three lustrous pearls.

Her eyes widened. She knew exactly what was going on. She knew just what this gesture meant. To pass the time when the King was busy, she would read up on old texts or chat with some of the staff. They were also happy to share stories and explain their traditions. She had been told by the servants that presenting women with such fine treasures was the courting custom for nobles in this kingdom.

'Ichigo.' _We can't._ That's what she wanted to say, but the words were lodged in her throat.

And before she could fully comprehend the severity of her predicament, he claimed her mouth with his.

 _To hell with it_. That was his one, singular thought as he took the plunge and kissed her. There was nothing to lose if there was nothing between them at all. But on the off chance that the sparks flew and the choir sang as their lips danced, he didn't want to waste the opportunity to take charge of their connection.

Surely enough, the indescribable completion of intimacy with one's soulmate pulsated in his veins. With the pearls still in his grasp, he cupped her face with his free hand to hold her in place. But she gave no resistance anyway.

Actually, she was kissing him right back.

She didn't know what to do, but she knew that this felt right. She understood already that there were consequences to what she was doing, but she felt like any price was worth this moment of tenderness.

Now if it could just last forever...

He pulled away. A gasp escaped her when she saw how warm those ruby eyes were. Scorching, even. There was a fire in them that she didn't know only she could ignite. They were terrifyingly handsome beneath his thick lashes. Her heartbeat quickened and she wondered for a moment if she was sick. Her heart was responding to him in ways she never thought possible.

In all her existence, she had practically forgotten that she had a heart.

'Ichigo, we can't.'

There. She said it.

Now... He had to go. This was a fun secret, but it had to end now.

He wordlessly presented the pearls to her again. She stared at them wordlessly, not knowing what to do.

What should she do?

Against her better judgement, she took them from him. He smiled and kissed her again, this time lifting her up the waist and carrying her into her room. He laid her on the bed before joining her. Not once did he try to undress her or suggest they take their intimacy a step further. He just wanted to talk to her, and occasionally steal a kiss or two. They spoke of senseless topics until their eyelids were so heavy that they could have been made of lead.

And when the sun came back up, Ichigo felt like it had never been brighter. He woke up first, stretching his arms over his head and standing up immediately. He had to get back to his room before the servants patrolled the halls. It would be scandalous to be caught leaving the quarters of Heaven's daughter.

Who, by the way, was still sound asleep without a care in the world. He glanced down at her sleeping form. Her glacial aesthetic glimmered in the sunlight; a ray of light that entered his life and shut the darkness away. She was everything to him. So he wanted to give her everything he could.

He promised himself in that instance that he would make her the happiest woman in all the worlds; Earth, Heaven, and anything in between.

The couple enjoyed a month of undisturbed joy.

They went about their usual business, rebuilding the kingdom and ensuring that peace was maintained while progress was made. They collaborated with each other on absolutely everything. Their shared projects were beyond successful, achieving results above and beyond their expectations. The people were pleased and so were they. Human or otherwise, they came together and changed the unshakeable.

In all that time, Ichigo never had his way with her. Rukia being ignorant to sexual implications never thought about it.

It wasn't that the King didn't want her - because he did. _Badly_. But he decided a long time ago that he would not initiate any love making with her in the immediate future. He knew he was probably being old-fashioned, but he didn't want to touch her for the simple reason that he didn't want to make her feel like he was claiming her. And in a way, that was exactly what sex was; the assurance that she was his. So he found no need to engage in it. Not until something drastically changed.

And it did.

Ywach's messengers sent a proposal to the young King. Should Ichigo marry the foreign princess, the neighbouring country was more than willing to compromise and progress as a society. Slavery would be abolished, extra-judicial killings would end, and all prisoners that were native to Ichigo's kingdom would be freed.

It was an offer he shouldn't have refused.

But it crushed Rukia's heart.

She calmly told him to take the deal. He declined.

She yelled at him and they got into their biggest fight. It wasn't their usual slapstick. It was real, heavy, in-your-face, go-fuck-yourself, I-fucking-hate-you arguing. She brought him to tears, which only angered her more.

'Why are you crying?!'

'Rukia.' he managed. 'Please stop. I don't want to fight with you. I love-'

'Don't!'

'Rukia.' he knelt before her. 'Don't do this. Why are you doing this? You know I can't be with that woman. I don't know her and I don't want to. I know _you_.' he reached out and lightly took hold of her wrist.

But she pulled sharply from him and slapped him across the face.

The screaming continued, but he kept silent. His throat was raspy and his soul was broken. He just wanted her to stop shouting. Not because it hurt him, even though it did. But because she was hurting herself. He knew she didn't mean the words that were coming out of her mouth.

'You were a fool to think that we were ever a serious couple!'

'How could I ever fall for a human man?! Absurd! It was all a game!'

'I could never love someone like you!'

Those were only some of the phrases she threw at him. Each syllable stabbed him like a swarm of knives, but he didn't fight back. He just gazed up at her with rich, red eyes saturated with the purest love. No matter how much she berated him, he just kept on looking at her like she was the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on.

It was killing her.

Eventually, she broke down in tears as well.

'Rukia...' he whispered.

She collapsed. Every muscle went rigid and her lungs were as if they were filling with ice. She keeled forwards and lost her footing. With one swift motion, he was able to break her fall. But when he turned his attention to her face to ask her if she was alright, he saw that she had passed out.

He assumed it was because of stress.

Of course he couldn't have guessed that it was because his humanity was poisoning her.

Their breathless kisses, their mingling tongues; it was poison.

But he didn't know.

So when she woke up again and he told her that he could never be with anyone other than her, they made love.

And in the morning when she woke up to him giving thanks for gracing his life with her presence, they made love again.

But the day after that, he woke up with no recollection of who she was and what they were.

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you so much to everyone supporting this story!

This chapter is a narration of what transpired between where the last chapter left off, up until the events of chapters 5-6 or **The Angel's Hell I-II**. Next chapter will reveal what Ichigo went through when Rukia returned to Heaven. His feelings will be explored.

Some of you were a little confused by what Orihime said last chapter, but I have to clarify that Ichika is not Ichigo's daughter.

However, the whereabouts of Ichigo and Rukia's unborn child will be revealed later on.

Thank you to **RukiYuki, anoyak111, blissbeat, onlyluna, Kasai to Kasumi, Shirayuki992, achalida, Luna-Dara, Redly24, Cate-Deriana, jobananasan, Seiei,** and the **Guest** reviewers!

 **Kasai to Kasumi** , I actually quite enjoy Renji's character as well, but I just don't think he's the best person for Rukia. I feel like him trying to dice her up showed a lack of concern and respect for her. I'm glad you liked that conversation between Ichigo and Orihime! Orihime's feelings towards Rukia will be explored more as well. Thank you so much for your continued interest and exciting commentary! I always look forward to what you have to say.

 **Shirayuki992,** you absolutely nailed Ichigo. You're so right. In this story, he wants to do what's best and "protect" those around him but is really inserting a lot of his selfishness into it. He wants to avoid the situation rather than face it, which is part of why he became so unhappy with his reality. He's been trying to reject it while at the same time conform to it. The last part of last chapter was the beginning of his flashback! I did hear about that RR novel, but I probably won't be reading it. It would be interesting to see an IH novel. Now that I would like to see. How they would justify that couple would be interesting. Hisana was in Heaven during all of the flashback segment. Thank you so much for your continued interest and exciting commentary! I always love reading your reviews. I feel like I'm talking to an old friend.

 **Luna-Dara** , ahh you're too sweet! That was one of the best compliments ever, thank you!

 **Redly24** , that too! He completely was out of the picture during Kaien's death. She actually needed support and he was nowhere to be found. And yes, the last bit of last chapter was Ichigo regaining his memories.

 **Cate-Deriana,** thank you so much! That's how I've always perceived Orihime's love for Ichigo, which is why I didn't like it. She loves when he's strong, but he can't be strong alone.

 **jobananasan** , I never felt like Renji had any approval from Byakuya. In many ways, I sometimes felt like Byakuya even looked down on him. Ichika is indeed seeing the real Rukia. LOL thank you, I'm really trying to make those two kids play into IchiRuki. And you absolutely nailed Ichigo. He's being destructive rather than protective. He wants to move forward, but he's only pushing Rukia backwards. And that's hurting them both terribly. Ichigo's reasons for hating the fact that Rukia started a family will be explored later. But one thing I mentioned before is that he felt that it was her way of getting back at him. This really plays into his whole "me, me, me" attitude in this story. As for Orihime, I can't ever envision her being OK with Rukia being the most moving person in Ichigo's life, which is why I characterized her the way that I did. Yes, the last part is the flashback of when they first met. And yes, a lot of characters will be coming into play in this story! Thank you so much for your continued support and amazing commentary! I always love reading them. They're so fun and make writing so fulfilling!

Thank you so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	12. The Thousand Year Grudge III

Ichigo's bleary eyes adjusted to the harsh brightness of the morning sun.

Instinctively, he rolled over to the side and extended an arm out as if he wanted to touch something or someone. But when he palmed the cool sheets, he found himself wondering why he did that. He didn't think about it either. His arm just reflexively reached out and he had this odd sensation that that gesture was not new to him, like he had done this action before.

That wasn't the only strange occurrence of that morning.

He woke up in the guest room and not his own private chamber. When he looked around, he was surprised to note that it appeared that someone had been living in it for quite some time. It certainly didn't seem as if it was completely untouched, as he always sort of remembered it had been. After all, there were rarely any guests who were important enough to warrant a night over at the castle.

He wanted to investigate the peculiar nature of his surroundings, so he stood up without thinking. The cold air caressed him and blushed madly at the realization that he was completely bare. He sat back down in case there was a woman around, momentarily forgetting that he had already unknowingly checked if there was another presence besides him earlier when he saw that he was the only body laying on the bed.

During his teenage years, he had invited several women into his quarters for noncommittal sex. His parents had a liberal mindset during his upbringing and thus encouraged his experimentation, so he never thought it was a big deal. But he hadn't engaged in intimacy years now. So there goes the idea that he may have had a night of laying in the arms of a stranger. Besides, anyone who had ever slept with him wanted so badly to stay with him the next day - much to his dismay. Plus, he would have very clearly recalled if he had taken off his armour for intercourse. He didn't take that kind of interaction lightly.

But really... He wasn't trying to deny anything. He genuinely didn't remember the events leading up to his current predicament.

Yet he must have brought a woman home. He _must_ have.

He could smell her on him.

It was a light, honey-like aroma that reminded him of white lilies on chilly winter waters. And snow. It sort of made him think of fresh snowflakes falling from the skies. This particular scent struck a familiar chord in him, followed by a faint tightening of the chest. His eyes watered involuntarily and he suddenly felt like crying.

Before he knew it, a single tear fell.

He desperately tried to calm himself, but that one tear evolved into full blown weeping. His eyebrows crinkled and his eyes shut as his mouth contorted into a clenched snarl, attempting to bite back the pained groaning accompanying his sobbing. His fingers curled at the sheets, gripping so hard it was as if he wanted to crush his very bones. There was a weight on his shoulders and a hollowness in his gut. He couldn't shake the feeling that he had lost something very important to him. Or rather, that a part of him had left and he would never get it back.

His heart was heavy. So, so heavy.

His outburst continued for a good hour. Every time he thought that he had finally regained control of his emotions, the tears would only seep through closed lids with a vengeance. The flooding grief and madness he was experiencing threatened to drown all reason out. There was no thinking to be done, his brain wasn't working - all he could do was feel the intensity of a loss he didn't remember actually experiencing.

What happened last night?

Deciding that it was unwise to remain hung up over a mystery he obviously had no answers to, he brushed his curiosity aside. Eventually, his crying subsided. But his mood remained bruised. Well, at least he could finally control his crying - that was the silver lining of the morning. Given the opportunity to carry on with his day, he seized it and hurriedly dressed himself. Accidentally, he stole a glance at himself in the mirror by the bedside.

His ruby eyes were shadowed by swollen redness around the sensitive area. His lips were cracked as he hadn't had a single sip of water since he had awoken. The usually rich blackness of his long hair was somewhat dull today to match the gloomy aura emanating from his warm skin, evidently bronzed from what he could only theorize was a long session of love making.

Then he noticed that his torso was dotted with scratch marks and bruises. A hand subconsciously came up to run his fingertips across some of the discolouration. They trailed from a long, red line on his chest up to an exceptionally large welt on his neck. It appeared that whoever he was with had worked on that area for an outstandingly long length of time. His face flushed at the thought.

Who could have...?

Another pang of pure agony pierced right through him.

He felt the tears coming on again, so he turned away from his reflection. He scrambled to find his clothes, which he then hurriedly dressed himself with. The nostalgia that just swept over him was bittersweet. His heart jolted with equally shocking stabs of euphoria and grief. What was going on with him? He felt like a lost lamb who had been abandoned in the middle of nowhere. This morning was just terrible. He felt weak, vulnerable, exposed.

He didn't even want to know what happened anymore. He just didn't want to feel this way. This strangeness would go away. He just had to fight it. It was probably just his mind playing tricks on him because of all the stress he was under lately.

Ichigo's memory was by no means hazy. It was just... broken. He could recall anything to the front of his mind with great ease, except for any communication with Rukia. Since spending time with her had taken up so much of his time for the past couple of months, his memory was jagged at times. For example, his brain could reenact perfectly the sequence of events on any given day, but would totally blank out whenever Rukia entered the picture. So one minute, Ichigo would remember waking up but then skip right ahead to getting to bed.

It was bizarre, but he didn't think much of it. Again, maybe it was the stress playing tricks on him.

It was just a bad day. Tomorrow would be better.

But then tomorrow came and it was _worse_.

Then the day after came and it was _ten times_ worse.

And the day after that was just horrible.

The following week was at best, catastrophic.

Not only was his memory bad, but he now had a perpetual headache from all the random crying he underwent at unpredictable intervals. Every time he woke up, the sight of empty sheets twisted his insides and he burst into tears. Every time he encountered a stereotypically "cute" animal in the woods, his reflex was to chuckle for a second before shutting his eyes to prevent the stinging at the back of his lids to get any stronger - rabbit sightings amplified this sensation by a hundred. Every time he ate something sweet, he wished that he could share it until he was reminded that he had no one to offer it to, and that would depress him as well.

Then there were these random moments when he was all alone and he suddenly became aware of how the world around him just wasn't moving. It had come to a standstill, feeling eerily empty and giving him a sense of purposelessness. He felt like he had just lost the will to live even though he wasn't suicidal per se. He was living, but he wasn't _alive_. He couldn't really put the sensation into words, but it felt like he was a dead man walking a barren planet.

Though there were many important issues he had to attend to, none of it was actually of any personal, pressing significance to him. He used to love his country more than anything. He loved his people more than he loved himself. He loved being able to protect and conquer in the name of justice. Those were his passions growing up and made up a large sum of who he was. So why was it that now he had lost all motivation to attend to them?

He was numb all over.

He felt sick all the time. Some days, he could barely get out of bed. There was a void in his chest and a buzzing on his skin that made him sick to his stomach. He constantly felt like throwing up, but no food or drink would actually escape him. There was a persistent bitterness in his mouth that no medicine could remedy. His case baffled his doctors, who were starting to believe that the young King was going to pass away. Never before had a patient presented themselves with these symptoms. They had no idea what was wrong with him.

Of course they couldn't pinpoint the underlying problem. Rukia had taken their memories as well. She wasn't foolish. Her handiwork was impeccably clean. She made sure to erase all traces of her existence from people's minds. That way, there was no foreseeable method that Ichigo would remember her. Her greatest fear was that his memories would come back and he would chase after her. She didn't want that. She didn't want to rob him of a normal life that she herself dreamt of.

She wanted that future with him, but she would just have to be content knowing that at least he could have one with someone else.

But really, her efforts to give him his original blueprint for his "life" back was doing the exact opposite.

He was depressed - severely so. His despair was manifesting physiologically, which was why he always felt weak and demotivated. Even though he couldn't remember her in memory, his body remembered everything; her likes and dislikes. Just about anything was a trigger that sparked a lonely familiarity he so craved but could not find. His body had become accustomed to having her around and chemically, emotionally responding to her presence. For her to be stripped away from him was devastating on so many levels. She left a hole that only she could fill. She was naive to think that he wouldn't miss her and mourn the loss of her in some shape or form, regardless whether or not he consciously knew why he was in such low spirits.

He was so lonely. Even though there were people around him who loved and cared for him, it was still lonely. It's always lonely when the person you love most isn't with you.

But he couldn't do much except ignore his feelings - which is precisely what he decided to do.

With that, Ichigo closed the chapter on that perplexing moment in his life and tried to go about his normal routine. He had given himself a healthy amount of time to beat himself up over quite literally nothing.

The next day, he forced himself to be in high spirits. He was unusually cheery and lively in an attempt to hide his tension. Rukia would have known that something was wrong with him behind that calculated smile, but his stewards only breathed a sigh of relief that their beloved King was back - and seemingly better than ever!

Ichigo was just happy that everyone else was happy. Though it was burdensome at first, the uplifting reception he received when he showcased faux strength encouraged that vitality to truly materialize. A light-bulb lit up in his head to remind him that he was important to so many that were counting on him. No matter what he was going through, there were so many others who were living in poverty and fear that were relying on him to see a better future.

So he put his best foot forward.

He attended to many matters concerning his country, but one meeting in particular on his agenda of utmost importance; a congregation of his advisors to discuss the possibility of his marriage to a foreign princess.

The idea wasn't new to him. He remembered that the idea was pitched only recently. But for some reason, it struck a painful chord in him. His psychological illness came back with a vengeance as he felt his stomach churn followed by the urgent need to vomit.

He took a sip of water.

 _Keep it together. Keep it together. Keep it together._

'This proposal is a godsend.' an advisor beamed. 'It sounds too good to be true.'

'I agree.' Ichigo managed. 'Why should the fate of their society be determined by a marriage?'

'Perhaps it is a sign of good will, my King.'

'Oh please. They never liked me. You all know that. Ywach hates my guts. So tell me, why would a man who absolutely despises me bait me with his own daughter?'

No one had an answer. They all tried to persuade him into accepting the offer anyway.

Ichigo said he'd sleep on it.

But the morning after, he still refused to give a definite answer. Ywach's messengers visited the palace grounds every day awaiting a reply which Ichigo was failing to give. His advisors were puzzled. What was keeping the King from making up his mind?

'My King, surely you've come to a conclusion by now?'

'No.' he admitted. 'I can't seem to do so, honestly.'

'And why is that?'

'I don't know.'

But he _did_ know. The only reason he wasn't jumping for joy was because he was overwhelmingly suspicious. It just didn't add up. Why so suddenly? There were many other subject matters Ywach could negotiate with him. Ywach, an emperor whose cruelty precedes him, approaching his enemy with his own child's hand? Why would Ywach, who openly hates the way Ichigo runs his own country, seek such an intimate alliance?

Ichigo's advisors were getting impatient. They were pressuring him to come to an agreement, whether or not it was the outcome they so desired. They just wanted him to _move_.

But Ichigo remained still. As far as he was concerned, he needed more information before he could be well-equipped enough to make his move. He needed a strategy, he needed answers. He just had to figure out how to get them.

He was pacing in his room, wracking his brains for a hypothesis. It didn't even have to make sense at this point. He just needed anything, anything at all to gain some logical understanding of the situation. Perhaps he should have sought counsel, but he didn't trust any of his men. What if they were being coerced behind closed doors? The only space he felt free to think was in his own chamber, for when it was built the strongest mages enchanted it so that no ordinary being could come in without his permission. In his solitude, he felt safe.

'Is something troubling you?'

Ichigo whipped around and instinctively reached for his sword. The alien figure raised his hands in surrender to indicate that he was not here to fight. But the scarlet-eyed King would not let his guard down. He proceeded to unsheathe his sword and pointed it at the unknown man before demanding, 'State your name and purpose, intruder.'

'I go by the name of Aizen.' said man smiled. 'And I would like to be of service to you.'

'And how are you going to do that?'

'Something's bothering you, right?' he sauntered towards the human. Ichigo did not lower his weapon. 'Please allow me to be of assistance.'

'What would _you_ know...' his grip on his sword tightens. 'About me?'

'A lot, actually.' Aizen's deceitfully charming grin widened. Underneath his taunting image, he was actually nervous about communicating with the subject. Until now, he had only been able to watch Ichigo from afar. The young adult was always out of reach, like he wasn't real, just a two-dimensional figure for Aizen to watch and toy around with. So seeing him up close was actually breathtaking.

So this was a _human man_.

How pitiful.

'You're making no sense.' Ichigo growled. He took a step forward and speared the tip of the blade dangerously close to the inhuman creature's neck. Aizen was not at all intimidated by this display of aggression. He raised a hand to grip the sharp object, calmly pulling it down and away from his jugular. Ichigo allowed the movement. It didn't seem like this man was here to hurt him. 'You came in here effortlessly and are able to hold my sword without cutting yourself. What are you?'

'I am but a messenger.' Aizen bluffed and bowed courteously.

'From?'

'Ywach's camp.'

The blade sprang back up to Aizen's neck. 'How dare you march in here, you _rat_. What does your bastard emperor want with me now? Is he too much of a coward to face me himself?'

Aizen was losing his composure. This wasn't going the way he planned. His intention was to coax Ichigo into marrying the designated "princess" with his powers of persuasion. But it appeared that they were lost on this man. If anything, their exchange was only growing increasingly tense and hostile.

This was bad. It was just as Rukia had reported; this King was stubborn and bull-headed. But the celestial gent would be damned if he let this brat get in the way of his plans. He almost chuckled out loud, but he saved his amusement for himself.

This subject was by no means an ordinary human. Not in the sense that he was supernaturally endowed, but because his resolve was admittedly something to be celebrated. He wasn't as easily manipulated as the angels have been led to believe humans are. There was an intrinsic leadership in this man that gave him a saviour-like quality. He knew that Aizen stood before him with abilities beyond his comprehension, but he showed no fear. He was suffering inside from the loss of his lover, but he feigned strength for his community. He truly was an _exceptional_ subject.

Aizen couldn't have envisioned a better participant for his experiment.

Unfortunately, Ichigo's role in that study would have to end here and now. It was Aizen's intention for Ichigo to move forward with his life until he needed the mortal once more - _if_ he would need him again, that is. But one thing was certain; Aizen had to distract Ichigo from regaining his memories, which was a possibility that still existed considering how much he missed his ex-lover despite not actually remembering her. Aizen ran the risk of Ichigo steamrolling ahead in a heightened emotional state to reunite with Rukia, which was a scenario that the heavenly mentor could not control.

That was the worst possible outcome; to be in a situation he could not control. What kind of experiment would he be running then, if the subjects could not be exploited to his will? He had come too far for this all to fall apart.

The first phase was over; Rukia was pregnant.

Aizen's hybrid had been created. He had effectively blurred the lines between Heaven and Earth. In his own right, he spat on the purity of paradise itself. He had accomplished what no one has done before, surpassing the limits of either realms and challenging the gods of creation themselves.

Death and humanity, merging into one forged entity.

A genetically unique being that desecrated the dignity of his own world was brewing inside of that woman.

Aizen raised her, conditioned her to be stone-cold. So that when she was finally assigned to the human world, her love for humanity would be that much stronger. Initially, Aizen plotted to eventually goad Rukia into blessing a human she would inevitably feel connected to with her own astral abilities. But it was a pleasant surprise to the mastermind that his disciple had actually fallen madly in love with a human.

And that's when it struck him; what if there was a more organic method of splicing the two gene pools?

What if she and Ichigo had a baby?

Aizen was assigned to oversee Rukia's first placement in the human world and report all that he saw. Because of his own personal agenda, he kept Rukia's relationship with Ichigo a secret from the Council, fearing that they would order her to be brought back immediately. Instead, the angel returned of her own accord after wiping out all traces of her in the human world. She came before the Council and confessed to all that she did. They were neither angry nor pleased. They never really showed much of anything to anyone, really. They simply thanked her for her honesty and told her that they would deliberate her fate.

Aizen didn't mind. He could tell the moment she stepped foot into Heaven that there was something odd about her. And it wasn't just the human expression she was wearing either. It was something more, something much more daunting - that was when he suspected that the deed had been done. There was a part of Ichigo inside of her that she would never be able to separate from completely.

Though satisfied with the impromptu turn of events, Aizen knew that his experiment was far from over. He had to keep Rukia in Heaven for the simple reason that there was too much mortal essence within her now. If she stayed by the King's side, she would be prone to all sorts of catastrophes that she could die from, given her now perishable status. Heaven was overflowing with holy energy that would sustain her to the end of her term. Plus, there was no way to determine the nature of the child once born. Could it survive in the human dimension? Or would its celestial blood require it to feed off of the reiatsu that made up Heaven?

Either way, Aizen wanted to keep his precious, unborn chimera as close to him as possible.

For Ichigo to remember Rukia, possibly demanding that she return to his side down here, was an obstruction in Aizen's plans.

Well, if the King had a new life with a new wife and child of his own, he wouldn't have the headspace to long for his first sweetheart, would he?

There was a misunderstanding between Aizen and the human King. To the celestial agent, Ichigo's indecisiveness was an effect of his memories returning... Which really wasn't the case. Although Ichigo remembered her presence somewhat, his hesitancy was because his gut was telling him that something was terribly wrong with the whole arrangement.

But how was Aizen to know that? It was in his best interest to assume the worst case scenario and troubleshoot accordingly.

'Ywach doesn't know that I'm here.' Aizen lied. 'I've come to you of my own accord. I know just how difficult this decision must be for you-'

'Answer the question I asked you earlier. What do you know of me?'

'I know that you don't want to marry the princess.' at those words, Ichigo's eyes widened. _Got you._ 'Care to tell me why?'

'That's...' he thought about it. 'That's none of your business!'

'Do you find yourself lost in your own thoughts about emotions you don't understand fully? Do you find it hard to concentrate on anything other than the gaping wound in your heart?'

Red eyes burned with rage. Then narrowed. 'What are you talking about?'

'Do you find yourself looking for someone who isn't here?'

Ichigo stiffened. His gaze softened.

That hit the nail on the head.

There was a sharp sting at the back of his eyelids and tears involuntarily sheeted over his vision. His bottom lip quivered for a split second, but he blinked to regain his serenity. The hand gripping his sword was shaking, but he grit his teeth and forced his muscles to obey him. His eyes were intensely boring into Aizen's shallow stare with all the fierceness of a warrior on the battlefield. A million thoughts were running rampant in his mind. There were so many things he wanted to say and ask, but no words escaped him.

'Ichigo.'

'Aizen.' he said the name like a curse.

'I know all about it, Ichigo. About how you pretend to be strong, but inside you just don't feel right. It must be the loneliness finally devouring you.'

'Loneliness?'

'You're an orphan and a lone ruler of a kingdom where no one understands you, not _really_. You're driven by only one drema; to protect those around you. And now that you've been given an easy way out, what's holding you back? If the only obstacle standing between you and your goal is a simple "yes," why won't you just agree to the marriage?'

'How dare you simplify me.'

'This marriage is what's necessary, not just for the country, but for _you_. You've been alone for so long, never fitting in and always feeling incomplete. If you marry the girl, you'll have a family again. You can't bring back your parents, but you can have a wife and children. Isn't that what you want? Don't you want a simple, normal life behind this net of responsibilities suffocating you? Sometimes, don't you think to yourself; "I didn't ask to be King. I didn't ask for these duties"?'

Ichigo was being played like a flute. Those were feelings he had buried and cast aside... when exactly? His head was pounding now. Yes, those were insecurities that had haunted him for as long as he could remember. But lately, he hadn't been thinking about that at all. How could he have gotten over it? Had he just forgotten?

A silhouette of a lady in angular robes flashed in his mind.

'Ichigo, don't you want another story? Don't you want to be more than someone with great power? Isn't it lonely being on top?'

Yes. It was very lonely.

But he didn't feel lonely anymore.

Because...

 _'Ichigo.' she smiled._

Because he found her.

 _'I trust you.' she planted a chaste kiss on his lips._

He found who he didn't know he was starved for all this time.

She was the part of him that was missing. She was his strength when he could not find it in himself to be strong. She was the voice yelling at him, reminding him of who he was. But she was also the sweetness that pierced through his jaded shell.

She made everything _good_.

She made his stunned world spin on its axis again.

But who was she?

His head was pounding and his chest felt like it was about to explode. His face paled and Aizen thought that he just made a horrendous mistake. The celestial man was about to say something, but Ichigo finally swung his sword. Aizen backed away with lightning reflexes, completely unharmed but mentally unprepared for what he saw. Ichigo clutched his head like he was experiencing the most mind-splitting headache. His groans were agonized and he eventually screamed at the top of his lungs.

'Shit.' the older of the two muttered involuntarily.

'Get out!' the King roared. 'Get out! Leave me be!'

Aizen didn't need to be told a third time.

His white wings finally appeared, extending swiftly from his shoulder blades. He allowed himself one last look the tormented human before him. Then with a wave of his hand, he was gone.

Wings. Wings longer than the man was tall.

Ichigo couldn't believe what he saw.

Even more than that, he couldn't believe that the sight of them was familiar to him.

'Fuck!' he screamed at nothing. He fell to his knees and his sword landed with a loud _clang_ on the marbled floor. Both hands were now on his temples. It felt like his brain was being squeezed. The pain took his breath away.

Who was she?

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you so much to everyone supporting this story! This story is actually my personal favourite to write, so it really warms my heart that you guys remain interested. Thank you always for your wonderful reception!

So I initially intended to wrap up the past lifetime this chapter, but there was just too much ground to cover. I hope to wrap it up next chapter and get back to the present time. I don't want the past to be too long, but I also don't want to rush it. I want everything to make sense for later on.

Thank you to **RukiYuki, blissbeat, Luna-Dara, Shirayuki992, Kasai to Kasumi, Cate-Deriana, MugetsuIchigo, achalida,** and the **Guest** reviewers!

 **blissbeat** , I'm glad you are enjoying their past love story. Your satisfaction warms my heart. This chapter is not yet the climax of their past! I think that the material requires two more chapters. But don't trust me completely! I might just wrap it up next chapter.

 **Luna-Dara** , I suppose it has become a mini-story all on its own!

 **Shirayuki992** , I'm so glad you liked it! I'm going to try and wrap it up next chapter. Well, I'd only be interested in it so that I could understand the canon ending more.

 **Cate-Deriana** , **Fade to Black** is one of the inspirations in my mind for their past in this story!

 **MugetsuIchigo** , so glad you found it worth it!

 **Guest** , Isshin will be playing a recurring role in this story! Haha, they'll be having a couple more sweet scenes next chapter. And their mentor/mentee relationship from their second lifetime will be brought up later. I hope this chapter clears up some of your questions. As for your other questions, let me answer them now. Yes, I will be showing how Rukia's return is received. I will be showing how Ichigo remained and his memories, if Ichigo knew about the pregnancy, and what the fate of the baby was. I will be revealing Aizen and Ywach's relationship later. I can't answer your other questions without spoiling it! One thing I can say, is that Rukia is most definitely not in Heaven. Thank you so much for your interest and support! Means so much to me and keeps me motivated!

 **achalida** , when I get back to present-time Ichigo, I will be explaining his actions more!

Thank you so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	13. The Thousand Year Grudge IV

'Rukia...'

Rukia refused to acknowledge her sister. She was slumped over the last bit of frosty land before the ice dipped into a body of water known as Heaven's all-seeing lake. The large pond could only be accessed by high-ranking celestial residents, who could use it to observe the human world from the safety of their world. The surface of the water mirrored the lives of the humans that the angel wished to be privy to.

Rukia had been abusing her right to use it for almost a month now.

Every day, all day, she watched Ichigo for hours on end. Sometimes, she'd fall asleep and Hisana would have to shake her awake. Even then, Rukia groggily rebuffed her sister's efforts to encourage her to let that man go. No, Rukia simply could not begin to imagine how she could move forward forgetting who she was on Earth and what they were. It was too painful to entertain the thought that all the love she felt, in heart and body, would be meaningless. It had to mean something. What she went through, what she felt - it had to have a greater purpose.

He made her feel like she meant the world to him. But now, they were dimensions apart, and he would move on with his life. He would never remember her or the supposedly unbreakable bond they once shared. While it was true that that was due to her wiping out his memories, she couldn't get rid of that last shred of hope lingering in her mind that perhaps he would find a way to subvert her astral abilities and regain what was lost.

But today was his wedding day.

'Rukia...'

She still didn't want to move. Her eyes that were dull from unshed tears perpetually sheeting over her vision were glued to the scene playing out in the water; an entire ballroom full of people waiting for the soon-to-be couple to walk down the aisle separately.

It was a waiting game for Rukia. Her anxiety was reaching unprecedented levels. Her immortal body was exhausted from the poison of lovemaking and pregnancy, the latter of which she was still unaware of. She was in no condition to tax herself emotionally, but she believed that she had become a sadist of sorts. It seemed that these days, she liked torturing herself with the image of her lost love living out the life she wanted to share with him.

 **. . .**

'Are you ready, my King?'

'What?' Ichigo snapped out of his stupor. 'What did you say?'

'Are you ready to begin the ceremony, my King?'

'Ah... Yes.' he responded nervously.

The whole morning was a blur. Ichigo had come to the decision to finally marry the princess because he simply could not justify putting that choice off for so long without reasonable grounds for doing so. Although he accepted Ywach's offer, Ichigo was still wary about the ramifications of this ceremony. He was convinced that the foreign emperor had some trick up his sleeve, or some ulterior motive behind all of this. Either way, Ichigo was doing nobody any good by delaying this union.

Instead, he resolved that the second matters went south, he would be greet it with no mercy. As if his emotions would be swayed just because he might fall in love with his enemy's daughter. If the wellbeing of his country was jeopardized, he would not hesitate to do whatever was necessary to protect his people.

More than the looming suspicion over the day's agenda, Ichigo was also undergoing a storm of sentimentality he couldn't quite understand were coming from. He should have been happy that he was about to have a wife, but he only felt dread and sadness. There was a pressure in his chest that made him want to cry at times. His eyelids would feel heavy and an emptiness was hollowing his soul. He would suffer through bouts of vertigo and he knew that it wasn't because he was ecstatic about getting married.

He should have been excited about his own wedding.

He had been told that the princess was beautiful. He wouldn't know. He was forbidden to see her before their big day. According to one of his advisors, this was customary in the neighbouring nation as they felt it was bad luck to see your would-be spouse before the celebration of your promise to love him or her till the end of time. But even though his entourage was gushing over the princess' apparent physical loveliness and bubbly personality, Ichigo found it impossible to picture any woman besides the vague shadow that plagued his dreams.

The silhouette of a petite woman with short hair was stamped on his memory and no matter how hard he tried to put a face on her, he would only succeed in producing the most mind-splitting headache he had ever experienced.

But every time he remembered what he could of her, like the scent of her skin or the feathery lightness of her hair between his fingers, he was overcome with a sense of completion that he felt he had been lacking in for a month now. Bit by bit, he'd remember fuzzy characteristics about her, but never enough to piece together a clear impression of her so that he could point her out in a crowd. But he didn't really need to. What he know of this mystery woman, no matter how unclear, stimulated nothing less than bliss. It was almost like taking a drug; fantasizing about her alleviated his iron grip on depression.

Who was she? She made him happy.

That indescribable joy would be followed by a debilitating loneliness. Whoever she was, she brought out the best and worst in him. The murky memory of her made him the happiest, but also the saddest man alive.

'Let's go, my King.'

'... Yes.'

On his way down the aisle, Ichigo couldn't feel the ground beneath his feet. He was used to being a spectacle to thousands of people, so this room filled with only a couple hundred should have been a walk in the park. Strangely enough, their gazes felt as if they were burning holes into his body. Their eyes fell heavy on him, and he couldn't help but lower his head. Even then, their soft sighs of thrill at seeing their beloved King about to open a new chapter of his life echoed in his eardrums as loudly and malevolently as condescending chortling.

This felt wrong.

He didn't feel proud. He felt like the main freak at a circus show.

He felt sick. He felt small. He felt light-headed, but trudged forward anyway. Even if it all felt so wrong inside, he wouldn't allow anyone to see that he was suffering because if he was weak then so was his country. He had to pretend like this was all going according to plan. He had to show everyone that he was confident in what he was doing, so that they would be confident that everything would be alright.

It was a lonely life he led. No one understood him. No one knew what he was going through.

No one except...

Rukia's silhouette flashed before his mind again.

He closed his eyes and willed it to go away. He was convinced he was losing it. It must be the stress of the entire situation. Perhaps he was nervous about meeting this girl, and so his imagination had conjured an image of her in his head. That must be it. He was just predicting what his wife would be like.

He raised his head again when he finally reached the altar.

'My King.' the priest bowed.

'Thank you for doing this.' Ichigo smiled.

'It is an honour.'

'She's coming!' a guest squealed.

The doors that closed behind Ichigo when he entered now reopened to reveal possibly the most beautiful bride of all. Those in attendance chattered noisily, fawning over the woman's height, built, facial features - everything. There was an airiness about her that was charming. Her eyes always seemed to be smiling, and she grinned at the crowd with a delicate wave of her hand.

As she glided along the carpeted aisle and drew closer, tears stung the back of Ichigo's eyes.

He was disappointed.

Here was an undeniably beautiful woman in a spectacular wedding gown, and he was _disappointed._

Why was that?

Somehow, he believed that he imagined this day countless times already even though he was the type of man who never wanted to wed young. He mapped everything out, from the decorations to the food and guest list - and all was just as he envisioned it except for the lady in the white dress.

He thought that she would be shorter and slimmer with a porcelain quality about her skin. She was supposed to have icy, sapphire eyes that were the same blue as the ocean he once loved to gaze at but now couldn't because it reminded him of the nameless figure that was but a figment of his imagination. Her eyes, though frozen in colour, were supposed to be invitingly hot beneath frosty lashes.

She was supposed to be the one in that dress.

She was supposed to be the one walking towards him.

She was supposed to be the one who was going to swear to love him forever.

She was supposed to love him.

Because _he_ loved her. He told her so.

He suddenly remembered just that one instant; When she was writhing beneath him for the first time and he told her that he loved her.

Ichigo paled.

'My King?' the priest was worried. Ichigo's sudden change in demeanour was hard to ignore. His face drained of colour so that he looked ghostly against his black hair, and those scarlet eyes were wide and disbelieving. When the young man failed to reply, the churchman assumed that he was just dumbstruck at how pretty the lady looked. It was normal to be in awe of such a beautiful bride.

'My King.' the bride greeted when she stepped foot in front of him. 'And soon to be my lover.'

 **. . .**

 _Yuck._ Hisana almost barfed.

Hisana, being a lower-ranking celestial steward and was therefore forbidden to go beyond the vicinity of Heaven, had never been privy to the verbalization of romantic love. Intimate relationship were a myth to her, rationalized as an imaginary chemical connection that served as a necessary evil to promote human reproduction. The couple she was observing from the water was nothing more than termites acting like fools. It was so embarrassing to listen to. Had she not been so concerned for her sister, she would have already left.

 **'My King... And soon to be my lover.'**

Yuck! What a corny thing to say.

But Rukia wasn't laughing. If anything, those words shook her. Hisana noted that Rukia's aura changed after hearing that. Aizen's disciple stiffened her shoulders and a barely audible whine escaped her. It was obvious that what that human girl said cut right through her immortal heart.

'Rukia, don't do this to yourself.'

'I'm fine.' Rukia finally spoke.

Hisana took that as a good sign that Rukia was opening up and she rushed over to the younger sibling's side. She rubbed the arms of the despairing angel, hoping that this kind of touch was soothing. Unfortunately, it had the opposite effect; Rukia leaned away from her sister and craned her head to better see the newly-acquainted duo. Her bottom lip quivered. She used to dream about being in that woman's position.

Rukia was shutting everyone out. Hisana just wanted to be let in so that she could help. But Rukia had become obsessive in her solitude, unwilling to do even the most effortless of her obligations to instead sulk over a human who didn't remember her. The Council had high hopes for her, and they still banked on her potential being of great use to Heaven. With this in mind, they agreed to give her time to recuperate before she formally resumed her assigned tasks.

Out of the two sisters, Rukia had always been the more headstrong. Hisana knew this and so was confident that Rukia would only need a few days to regain the strength she had lost in the human world.

Yet here she was, an entire month later, obsessing over a mortal King.

Why would she subject herself to that much grief? And why was she grieving in the first place? Love was just an arbitrary concept, it didn't actually exist, especially not to beings like them who were meant to be above humanity. They weren't meant to love, hate, or even feel anything whatsoever. And right now, Rukia's love for the King was as strong as her hatred for the blooming bride - it was a flurry of emotions that Hisana knew was tearing her sister up from the inside out.

What should she feel?

Rukia didn't know how to feel.

It was his wedding day. He was getting married. He would have that family he always wanted.

She should be happy.

But she was _devastated_. She wanted to _strangle_ that foreign woman.

'Rukia...'

'I'm _fine_.'

'You're not fine. I know you too well.'

Rukia retreated back into silence. Hisana just waited for the time when her sister needed her again.

 **. . .**

What horrible timing.

The priest was going through the formalities of the ceremony as effortlessly as if he were reading from a script. Everyone in the ballroom was listening intently; some spectators were already in tears. The bride was beaming, grinning from ear-to-ear with a pretty blush on her cheeks. However, Ichigo's ears were deaf. As far as he was concerned, the priest's speech was as good as white noise - and just as insignificant.

No, he couldn't be here right now. There was no way he could focus.

Ichigo's thoughts were far, far away. His wedding was the _last_ thing on his mind.

So what was he thinking about? Who or what was so important the great King couldn't enjoy his own wedding?

The exact image of Rukia was now in full clarity.

Here he was, getting married. And all he could think about was another woman; the one who he was convinced was but a figment of his imagination.

He was reliving the night they slept together for the first time. The memory of that was coming back to him at this very instant, even though he was about to marry another woman.

It was sacrilege. It was immoral.

But he couldn't stop thinking about her. And he didn't want to be snapped out of his dream-like state anyway. His whole body was buzzing happily, and for once in a very long time, he felt at genuine ease. Just being able to see her - even if it was only in his mind's eye - brought a satisfying peace to him.

He saw white skin that threatened to be as bitingly cold as the depths of the Pacific, but felt as hot to touch as the most gentle fire. His fingertips tingled delightfully as they relived the ripples of her body as she writhed beneath him, only for him to caress her everywhere. And her scent; her sweet fragrance that greeted him the morning that she left him and he had forgotten about her.

 _'Ichigo...'_

The sound of her voice; there was surely no note more melodious than his name escaping her lips.

How could he have forgotten about her? How could he have ever allowed those mesmerizing eyes to leave his thoughts?

And that was when it clicked.

This was the woman he had been with the night before his strange depression sparked.

This was the woman who made his heart mourn and his soul break in her absence.

This was the part of him missing.

He knew who she was. He could feel it.

But the extent of his memory stopped there. Aside from remembering their most intimate nights and finally being able to attach a face to his previously unexplainable crush on a woman he thought didn't exist, he didn't recall any more details about her. He had no idea where she came from or how they got to know each other. He only knew that he _did_ know her and that she was important to him.

And really, that was all that counted. He didn't need to remember everything that transpired between them. His feelings were valid as they were. They were reason enough for him to believe in who she was and what they were, however ambiguous it may seem at the moment.

But then he thought; why wasn't she around? Why did she leave? If he was so agonized over her, then it could have not possibly been a mutually agreed upon separation. Why didn't she want him anymore? Did he upset her? Had they gotten into a fight?

 _'I could never love someone like you!'_

Tears stung his eyes.

 _'I could never love someone like you!'_

She could never love someone like him; she had said that.

And it _hurt_. It hurt so much.

But he didn't hate her for it.

Because he knew that was a _lie_.

It had to be. How could she deny how enmeshed they were? If he felt this way, surely she must feel the same. Surely, he wasn't alone in this pure and painful form of love that he didn't know existed until she came along. He didn't know that he could fall so intensely for someone that he physically could not function without that same love to sustain him. A feeling as strong as that couldn't be one-sided. She must have, at some point, fed his undying affection for her with her own.

But her name; What was her name?

He knew what she felt like. He knew what she sounded, what she tasted like.

But still, who was she in _name_?

What was her name?

'My King.' the priest cleared his throat.

'Huh?' the life returned to ruby eyes. He gaped at the minister as if he just realized where he was. He glanced at the bride, who was now evidently a little nervous that her groom was getting cold feet. Murmurs could be heard from the gossiping crowd, who were busy theorizing why the King was momentarily disoriented to the point where he needed to be shaken back into reality.

 _Was he not attracted to her? No, he's just a little scared. Maybe he's the type of man that fears commitment? Nonsense, the King is an honourable man!_

None of that conversation was helping Ichigo.

'My King?' the priest repeated.

'Yes?'

'I said, if you wish to bind your life to this princess in holy matrimony, please kiss her.'

'Is that not what you want?' the foreign lady asked in a wavering voice. She grasped his arm with her hand, locking her eyes on his. Though he was staring right at her, he couldn't see his reflection in her glossy pupils. He tilted his head to the side, weighing his options.

He didn't love this woman. He was aware of that long before this day. How could he? They were only allowed to meet on the day of their wedding. He didn't mind though, not if it brought about societal progress. He never thought that having a fulfilling love life was necessary to be happy anyway. So really, he shouldn't be hesitating to kiss her.

But he couldn't shake off the nagging feeling that if he sealed his fate, there would be hell to pay. What about the woman he had just remembered? The one who made his heart race dangerously and gave him happiness even just in thought?

He had so many questions, so many factors to consider, but he didn't have enough time. There more he was stalling, the less confident the people were in him. Plus, his dawdling showed that he did not have good faith in Ywach's proposal. Which, in turn, would discourage his own people from having faith in him.

'My King?'

There was too much at stake. There was no time.

He had come this far. Why ruin a perfect opportunity for someone he didn't even remember?

Someone who left him, alone and miserable?

She couldn't be more important than the fate of his people, could she?

Ichigo kissed the bride.

 **. . .**

'No!' Rukia screeched.

Her pain echoed all throughout Heaven. What remained of her heart broke into a million shards so small she would never be able to piece it back together by herself. Not thinking, she reached for Ichigo's image in the water, only succeeding in creating redundant ripples that obscured the frightening picture. Due to the disturbance, the lake reverted back into an ordinary body of water that reflected nothing. Rukia was both glad because she couldn't clearly see them kissing anymore, but also angry because she had already seen it.

She couldn't even feel betrayed. She wanted this. He begged her not to do this, he cried and she _hurt_ him. If she hadn't left, none of this would have happened. At any rate, from the very beginning, this was the plan. This was her assignment. She finally achieved what she had been sent to do in the first place.

But to complete her mission in exchange for her happiness? She no longer believed that the price was right.

Yet somehow, deep inside, she thought that she may never have had to pay that price. That maybe, he would get married and all his problems would be solved - then she'd be able to return to his side and pick up where they left off.

Of course that was unreasonable and unrealistic, but that hope kept her sane. It was a dream that she clung onto to avoid her reality.

'Ichigo, why?!' she demanded though he couldn't hear her.

'Rukia!' Hisana scooped her sister up in her arms.

'You said you loved me, so why...!' she struggled against Hisana. 'Why are you kissing _her_?! Why...!' she choked on her own tears and burst into anguished gasps and sobs. She let out a bloodcurdling scream and balled her hands into fists so tight that she drew blood. Hisana desperately tried to hush her, burying her head in her chest and rocking her back and forth in a maternal effort to soothe her ache. If this continued, Rukia could get into more trouble than she was already in. It was a miracle that the Council overlooked Rukia's misdemeanour, so Hisana wasn't about to bank on another miracle happening.

'Rukia, please!' Hisana croaked over her sister's wailing. 'Rukia, you could get yourself in trouble, so please... Please stop crying. Rukia, please!'

Rukia was deaf and blind to anything but the stinging of her chest. Her tears stained her sibling's robes and the ruckus she was making surely disturbed so many heavenly residents, but she didn't care at all. She was in pain; so much pain that she felt her deathless body crack from her very bones.

'Rukia, Rukia, please! Please, please don't cry! Please!'

'Ichigo!' Rukia pulled away and headed back towards the all-seeing lake to try and conjure the reflection up again. She had to see more. She had to see what him again. Even if hurt her, she wanted to see him again. 'Ichigo! Ichigo!'

'Rukia, stop!' Hisana grabbed her by the waist and tried to heave her backwards. Rukia scratched and pushed against her sister's hands. Hisana winced as she was wounded, but Rukia was not to be controlled. She was seeing red and she didn't have a good grip on what was happening. 'Rukia, please! Stop!'

'Ichigo!'

'Rukia! Do you want to be imprisoned for the rest of your life?!'

'Aren't I already?!' she spat back, anger flashing in her eyes. Then the pain returned with a vengeance. 'Aren't I caged as is?! I... I...'

 _Ichigo!_

'I just want to see him!' she whimpered. 'I just want to see him, I just want to talk to him, please let me see him, please!'

'Detain her.' Aizen calmly commanded as he waltzed in with ten lower-ranking officials.

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you to everyone supporting this story!

I guarantee that the next chapter will wrap the past up. I didn't realize how much ground there was to cover. I could have concluded **The Thousand Year Grudge** bits in this chapter, but I felt that it was too long.

Thank you to **blissbeat, Cate-Deriana, Shirayuki992, jobananasan, NieveDrop, achalida,** and the **Guest** reviewer!

 **blissbeat** , thank you so much for your kind words, you're always so nice! Urahara will also come into play in this story! You'll see how Aizen and Urahara are connected in later chapters - which is a backstory that was actually composed by **NieveDrop**! I'm very excited to reveal what she had in mind for it.

 **Uncertain Feels,** I have heard of it, but I don't see how that's relevant to me.

 **Cate-Deriana** , you're too kind! Aizen will be one of the biggest players in this story.

 **Shirayuki992** , no worries, you know you can always rant to me! I'll happily listen. I did hear about it. Good for him that he felt he concluded his work the way that he wanted to, but it won't change how I feel about the ending.

 **jobananasan,** three weeks! Part of is that he wants to evolve into a higher being, but there's another reason behind his experimentation that will be revealed in later chapters - during the present time. How Urahara and Aizen came to be involved with each other will also be explained. I think at that point, Aizen was careless. You'll see how in the past, Aizen was reckless and he had to learn from his mistakes, turning him into the calculated person he was during the real timeline of Bleach. LOL at the Ishida imagery.

 **NieveDrop** , yes I totally agree that I was very imbalanced the past couple chapters! And don't even worry about it, you've just been the best! So patient and insightful!

Thank you so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	14. The Thousand Year Grudge V

Ichigo looked like he'd seen a ghost.

The second their lips touched, all his memories of Rukia came flooding back. The time they spent together, the demons they fought, the love they invested in each other and in their kingdom; all that this nation had become was made possible because of her guidance and support. She was his inspiration for all that he had done. She was his ray of light in the darkness he wasn't quite sure he could come out of.

She was the rightful Queen. She was _his_ Queen.

He told her that. He promised that that was a title meant only for her, no matter what anyone said - his people or hers.

Rukia was his Queen.

Not this woman, or any other woman.

'My love...' the bride whined with hyperbolized, girlish glee.

'I'm _not_ your love.'

At his hostile words, all in attendance gasped sharply. Nervous chattering erupted. The priest laughed uncomfortably. Everyone knew that the King was brash and sometimes that came off as rudeness, but there was absolutely no way to excuse how he just disrespected the foreign noble. Half the crowd expected the girl to slap him then and there, while the other half was just surprised that she hadn't walked away already.

But the princess only raised her eyebrows before her lips curled into a small, knowing grin. Like she had just heard someone tell a really funny joke but found it inappropriate to laugh. She stared at Ichigo with hard eyes that twinkled with amusement. He was glaring right back at her, his jaw clenching so hard it was a wonder how his teeth hadn't broken off.

'You knew.' he hissed.

'Of course.' her tone was airy. 'What a bad, _bad_ boy you've been. I suppose you'll stick your tongue into any girl's mouth - doesn't even matter if she's human.'

'Why?' he took her by the hand and pulled her closer so that their exchange was as inconspicuous as it could be. A low chuckle shook her body and a bitter taste coated his mouth.

He was angry and humiliated all at once. He felt so stupid. So, so stupid. This was the plan from the very beginning - he was meant to play into this marriage that was anything but an innocent love story. He was being played and he didn't piece it together. He was so tempted by a solution to his problems that he didn't trust his gut. Plus, in the confused mental state he was in, he must have been quite easy to take advantage of.

But no one banked on him recovering his memories.

Ywach knew. That bastard emperor knew of Ichigo's relationship with Rukia and for some unknown reason, wanted to destroy that. Why else would he suddenly offer his daughter's hand in marriage? As if this woman was actually his own offspring! She was probably just another agent of his, another malicious envoy sent on another disgusting, underground mission to wreck havoc in political affairs. Why? For what purpose? Why was it important that he forget Rukia? Why was what they shared a threat?

'Why?' Ichigo pressed, tightening his hold in warning but not enough to actually hurt her. 'Answer me!'

'Wouldn't you like to know?'

'If you're not going to tell me, then begone. I have no need for you here.'

'And how do you think that's going to look? We're married now. The tensions between our countries are over. You did that, you were the one who ended that here today. It's over. Are you really going to step backwards because you can't let go of your last lover, who left you of her own volition?'

'Quiet. You don't know anything about her, so don't-'

'She doesn't love you. She left you. She _wanted_ you to marry me. She didn't care about you enough to fight for you.'

'Shut up. Just-'

'What's so special about her anyway? Or are you just fond of the fact that she's Heaven's daughter? Does it get you off knowing that you defiled the epitome of innocence-a-ah!' she winced. For just a brief second, Ichigo's grip on her was biting. She snarled at him, but his stony rubies intimidated her. She whimpered involuntarily as dread loomed over her. In that moment, she was genuinely scared for her life. Never before had she seen a look so murderous.

' _Shut up_.' he growled. 'You don't know her, and you most certainly don't know _me_. Because if you did...' he leaned in to whisper into her ear. 'Your leader would know better than to trifle with me.'

'S-Say what you want.' she found her voice. 'Your threats mean nothing. You've done what no King before you has managed; consolidating peace. They will celebrate you in the history books. They will sing songs, write hymns, chant prayers thanking you for your service to the people. You can save them - all you have to do is stay with me. Stay with me. Stay with me and you will never live in fear of war again. If you don't, then we will raze your land. We will burn it to the ground and you will be nothing but ashes scattered in the wind. Your people will follow, rest assured. Is that what you want? To fail, just like those before you? You _can't_ leave me.'

'Watch me.' he said sharply and let go of her. He faced his audience, who were all reeling with anticipation at his next move. Though they couldn't hear his conversation with his would-be bride, any spectator could be able to tell that all was not well.

The princess faked a bright smile that calmed some of the onlookers. She was still hoping that Ichigo would just play along. He would be a fool not to. No one could be worth peace, not even a former flame. Especially to a King like Ichigo, who took great pride in protecting a mountain load of people - there was no way he was going to push all that aside for the sake of one person. Didn't he want to be a legend? That was every ruler's dream, one that he could now finally call his own. Ywach knew that.

More importantly, _Aizen_ knew that.

Which is why he instructed Ywach to agree to Ichigo's demands in exchange for the later marrying the designated duchess.

'I can't do this.' Ichigo proclaimed.

The princess' smile fell, but everyone remained quiet.

'I can't lie to myself, to all of you, or to God.' he continued. 'I can't be with her if it dishonest to my true feelings - even if it means that the road ahead will be longer.'

Every breath in that room stifled.

'As your King, I want what's best for all of us. But _this_ \- this deception - will do no one any good. Do not be so charmed by the promise of a better tomorrow, because no one will be able to provide that for us except _us_ , by our own strength. Nothing is freely given in this world. Who knows how these foreigners will collect our dues for this simple arrangement that supposedly promises peace? So go back to Ywach.' he turned to face the princess. 'Run to him and deliver this message: If peace is what he wants, then I am all for working towards it in collaboration with him. But he better man up and talk to me _himself_.'

* * *

Rukia fell on her hands and knees before the Council.

She was the lone spectacle of an oval room that was cloaked in white. Nothing was housed within the confines of these four walls except for the criminal and her seven judges - all members of the highest committee in Heaven. They stared at her wordlessly. Cold eyes of the iciest blues gauged her, observed her. She felt utterly naked beneath their piercing gazes, so she made no effort to raise her head. She was much more comfortable with her eyes shut and her back slumped over in a defeated position.

Her tears had dried up. Her eyelids were heavy. Her throat was raw and her body was buzzing with the aftershocks of the adrenaline rush. She could barely keep herself upright on her fours, but she had dreamt of this moment her entire life, of being in front of the Council and hopefully one day be invited to be one of its members. So at the very least, she would not grovel on the ground. She would maintain just a shred of composure to retain her sanity.

'Rukia.' the tallest affiliate - an old man - finally broke through the silence.

Her name resonated in the thick air. Nothing else was said, so she assumed that she was expected to speak. Except no sound could escape her at the moment. Her insides felt torn apart so that even the slightest movement could cause her to crumble into a million shards.

'Rukia.' he repeated. 'A few months ago, we chose to send you to the human realm on an assignment. As you know, only high-ranking officials are allowed to venture into that dimension. We had faith in you. We saw the potential in your training and we hoped to one day offer you a seat here with us. Yet it appears that your involvement with the mortals led to devastating consequences. Are you aware that the King's country is on the verge of a full-blown war?'

Her richly azure eyes watered.

'Rukia, you have jeopardized the very creatures we were meant to protect. What you have done is a serious offence. It is an insult to all the hard work Heaven has done to watch over, and guide, the humans. We deem that your actions warrant appropriate punishment. Due to your otherwise spotless record and spectacular potential, we have decided _not_ to neutralize you.'

The petite angel should have been jumping for joy. Most in her position would have burst into happy tears, thanking the Council for their mercy. The powerful committee assumed that she would be all too willing to shake their hands and dart out the door to resume her normal obligations. They knew that their offer was merciful, and they thought that Rukia would be more vocally appreciate of that fact.

However, she stayed still.

 _Does that mean that I'll be able to see Ichigo again one day?_ was the first thought that entered her mind.

If she wasn't sentenced to non-existence, then that meant that there was still hope that they would reunite. Perhaps when he was old and on his deathbed, she would visit him and he'd tell her all about his wife and children, possibly grandchildren too. Her jagged heart cracked at the idea. She would scream inside, but she'd smile and pretend like his stories didn't bother her because it would just be so damn good to see him again in the flesh and know that he had lived a fulfilling life filled with countless moments of happiness.

Or perhaps she'd appear to him one day as a stranger. She'd hide her wings and pretend that she was lost. They'd be friends and maybe she could care for his children when he and his wife were away. He wouldn't remember her, but she wouldn't care because she'd just be overjoyed to be back in his life in some way.

Her brain was buzzing with numerous scenarios for their reunion. She was excited already.

 _I'll see Ichigo again,_ a single tear fell and she shut her lids.

For the first time in a long while, she felt happy.

'However, Rukia, you cannot remain as you are. Your exposure to mankind has stimulated a reflection of them within you. You have become too human, unbecoming of one of us. We must address this problem immediately.'

Her head shot up to display frightened orbs.

'The Council has decided that you are to be relieved of all your memories from your time in the human world. The procedure to achieve this will take place after this meeting.'

'I...'

Wouldn't that be better?

If she could just forget what they were?

Then she wouldn't agonizes over him for the rest of her life. She could have her original goals in mind. She could work towards becoming a member of the Council, and that would be the greatest honour she could ever achieve. She could make something of herself without being bogged down by dreams of love and tenderness that she was never supposed to experience with a human man anyway.

It could all be so easy.

She would forget his smouldering eyes and handsome frown. Her skin would stop aching for his feathery kisses and strong hands. His scent, his voice, and even the slightest graze of his fingertips - all forgotten.

They'd never fight or speak again.

She wouldn't be able to scold and he'd never again have the opportunity to bark back at her.

But at least she wouldn't be in pain all the time.

Even so...

'No.'

'Pardon me?'

'I said, no.' she knelt so that her torso was straight, and she smoothed her robes with trembling hands. 'I refuse.'

'What is this subversion? You cannot refuse. This is an order, not a request. While you are a valuable asset and we are proud of your impressive breeding, I urge you to remain wise and remember your position.'

'They're my memories. I think it's only fair that I get to have a say in what happens to them.'

'You mistake this for a democracy. You will do as you're told. It is for your own benefit. Look at yourself.' he gestured a frail hand at her form. 'Just look at what your grief has done to you. Is this what you want for all eternity? To weep over a man who doesn't remember you and who will never see you again?'

'Even if I never get to see him again.' she insisted, her voice raspy from all the wailing she had done a while ago. 'I don't want to forget. Even if he never remembers me again, I don't ever want to forget him.'

'This is not about what you want.'

'It _is_ about what I want, and what the Ichigo who remembers me wants!' she stood up on shaky legs. 'You didn't experience what we did. You weren't there. You weren't _me_. You didn't feel destiny wrap you in its arms and guide you to his side, _I_ felt all of that and it was _real_. He was a part of my life and I can't pretend like we didn't happen. I don't want to pretend that we didn't happen.'

'Do you not realize that because of this behaviour of yours, your beloved King is now awaiting his turn at death's door, ready to be cut down on the battlefield? His country will be in shambles, tense political relations that lead to decades of famine and poverty are abound.'

'Ichigo will find a way out of it.' she persisted. 'He's good. He's smart. He's hardworking. He's a _hero_. He'll find a way to protect everyone because that's who he is. I have faith in that man, in the person that I had come to know and eventually fallen in love with!'

 _Blasphemy._

Not just in her actions, but now also in her words.

She was making her case worse. From the moment she walked in, the lengthy silence she was greeted by was due to one collective observation by the Council: her pregnancy. The organism was small, but growing. They had never noticed it before for the simple reason that she never presented herself to them until now. They had hoped that during the procedure to relieve her of her memories, they could simultaneously destroy that ungodly thing inside of her.

They didn't want to be held accountable for the catastrophe that could bud from this unholy union. The living and dead, human and celestial maiden; it was unheard of. The divisiveness between the different realms were established for a reason, for _order_. The very existence of that child was spitting on these very lines, blurring them so that there was no more distance.

It was too messy. The Council did not want to get caught up in all of that.

'I won't consent to it.' she coughed because it was hard to speak. 'I won't allow you to take away the only thing I have left of him.'

They couldn't very well force her into it, could they? Word would get out and how would the other inhabitants of Heaven react to such expedient measures? The Council wanted to keep themselves clean and polished. This was sullying their reputation for effectiveness and fairness.

'Very well, Rukia. You will be held in a cell while we deliberate an alternative route for your fate.'

* * *

'Ywach is outraged by your humiliation of his daughter. He must be plotting his vengeance!'

'Our spies say that Ywach's army is undergoing special training.'

'My King, why are you not assembling our army?'

Ichigo rubbed his temples. He was starting to dread these daily meetings with his advisors. They were just too up in his face, too demanding - _they_ should try running the country since they apparently had such strong opinions about his regime.

'Never mind that.' the King waved his hand dismissively. The advisors' faces fell. Unbelievable. They were being shunned again. 'Are the people content with the way things are?'

The advisors eyed each other. They didn't want to admit the truth for fear that the young King would just become more relaxed about all this.

'Well...' one counsellor spoke eventually. 'It's the same. The skill set of our local workforce has much improved due to the new curriculum you had instilled when you first took the throne.'

'Ah.' Ichigo smiled. 'You see; we don't need an alliance with Ywach to improve our country.'

'But my King, they are still our adversaries! We don't need war or foreign hostility! Even though we may be peaceful within our four walls, doesn't mean that we aren't exposed to harm!'

'If they come for us, then we'll be ready. Did you not say that they just agreed to meeting for peace talks?'

'But my King, you know that they're _liars_!'

'What an accusation to make. You preach about lessening tensions, though you yourself are adding onto the suspicions between our nations that fuel the fires of tension.'

The advisor snapped his mouth shut.

With nothing left to say, Ichigo dismissed his advisors. There was a lot on his mind and this constant doubt from the very people who were meant to be confident in him wasn't helping at all.

It had been two weeks since he left the princess at the altar.

The strange part was that Ywach didn't seem to bothered. He sent a messenger to relay his disappointment, but Ichigo felt that if Ywach was truly insulted, then he would have resorted to more drastic measures of expressing his discontent. After all, that emperor had a tendency to flaunt his power and was quite the brat when things didn't go according to his plans.

But for some reason, Ywach didn't seem very invested this time.

Ichigo left to go to his bedroom. It was the only place in the palace wherein he felt safe. Once there, he sat on his bed and buried his face in his hands. After a while, tears dampened his palms. Damn. He really thought he wouldn't cry this time. He had been trying desperately to get his emotions under control but ever since he remembered _her,_ he had shed these tears every single day.

He wanted to see her so badly.

He prayed for her every single. He didn't even know if his words would reach her, but he had to try something. He thanked her for all the time they spent together, all the wonderful memories they made and the love that they shared and that he promised he would take to the grave. He reassured that he loved her and that he was sure she had her reasons for going. During these prayers, the need to beg her to come back, but he didn't want her to be sad by the fact that he was upset by her departure. He promised her that he would fight for his country, for _their_ country. He promised that he would become a man she'd be proud to have known, and that he would protect their people with all his strength.

He would finish by saying that she was always welcome here. This was her home now too.

 _Just come home,_ he thought miserably to himself. He was partially resigned to the notion that he would never see her again, but his heart still ached for her. She was a piece of him that fled. He felt incomplete without her. He missed her so much. She was a ray of light to him, when the world was painted over in black. She made him so happy and complete and powerful that he would always miss her, no matter how much time passed - because their bond transcended all. He could never get used to her absence.

'Ichigo...'

Scarlet eyes widened and he whipped his head back.

Rukia was sitting on his bed right behind him.

It hit him all at once; her image, her fragrance, the subtle luminescence of a heavenly woman - it was almost too much for him.

His mouth hung open and his lips upwards curled at the sides in a proud smile. He wanted to kiss her and yell at her at the same time, but he settled for just soaking in the reality that those were even options for him again. 'You came back.'

She wanted to reply, but she was too choked with emotion. Tears fell and she wiped them away quickly. His eyebrows knit together in worry, but she smiled at him to signal that she was alright. These were tears of joy. She thought she'd never see him again, and now here he was. The same man who she had been crying over for was now within arm's reach.

'Rukia.' his fingers brushed her tears away before he cupped her face. When sapphire met amber, he could have sworn he was melting. Her gaze was so hot, so intense a sensation that he wasn't quite sure this was real anymore. Being with her was like being lifted off of his feet. 'Rukia.' he leaned in and she kneaded his biceps. 'Are you visiting?' his mouth tasted bitter at the thought that she would leave again. 'Why did you leave? I'm not mad...' he lied. 'But I want to know. How long are you staying for? Did you miss me?' he smirked.

'Ichigo.'

He shuddered at the sound of her voice.

He crashed his lips onto hers and she allowed his weight to push her to her back. She expected him to ravage her, but after that one kiss, he pulled back and just stared into her eyes. His fingertips ran through the contours of her face, down her eyelids, past her nose, then finally tracing lazy circles on her swollen lips. She whimpered at his gentle, teasing touch and he laughed. He planted a chaste kiss on her lips and stroked her hair, all the while looking into her jewel orbs like he was observing a miracle happening right before him.

'I love you, Ichigo.'

That was it.

The floodgates broke and he wasn't going to be so sweet this time. He kissed her again with all the pent-up passion he had been suppressing all this time. His whole body was shaking, but his arms circled protectively around her head as if he wanted to prevent her from escaping. She kissed him back fervently, though she forcibly needed to turn to the side periodically to catch her breath. He would allow this for only a second before reclaiming her lips and pressing onto her like he wanted to imprint every curve and line of her body onto his.

'Don't ever leave me again.' he rasped when she gasped for air again. 'I won't let you go. Not even if you want to. Even if you cry or scream, I won't ever let you go.'

They made love that night.

Rukia thought she was going to die from happiness.

Ichigo found the will to live in happiness.

In the morning, she awoke to him putting on his armour. She asked him where he was going and he responded that he was headed out to the battlefield as Ywach's troops were sent to raze their country. Rukia had an ominous feeling about the situation. She wanted to tell him not to go, but she chose to have faith in him. On the other hand, Ichigo was more than determined to fight. Now that Rukia was back, the desire to protect had never been stronger.

When he left, he discovered the enemy's unfair advantage; they had been blessed with Quincy abilities.

Rukia was visited by Hisana and found out that she was pregnant. More than that, Hisana accidentally hinted that Ichigo was in danger.

Naturally, Rukia ran to Ichigo's side on the war zone.

He pulled her into his arms with the intent of protecting her. Unfortunately, the violence of armed conflict, combined with Rukia's newfound mortality led to a series of events that shattered what was meant to be unbreakable. Suddenly, Ichigo's sword was buried in his lover's womb, piercing through not only her body but the body of the child he didn't know he had as well.

'Rukia!' Ichigo roared. He pulled his sword from her womb and caught her in his arms before she slunk to the ground. She was bleeding profusely, the sickening red staining what was once pure white. He chanted her name over and over, hoping to gain a reaction from her. It was useless. Her eyes rolled back and she was mumbling incoherent fragments of what was meant to be a complete thought.

'I-Ichigo... My baby! I-It hurts, it's h-hurting my baby!'

'Rukia.' he wasn't even paying attention to her words. Bile built at the back of his throat and he struggled just to keep himself from losing his sanity. The cruel reality of having wounded his lover was too much for him to bear. If she died because of him... If she died here, today... 'Rukia, don't leave me.' he kissed her. 'Rukia. Rukia.'

'Ichigo...' bubbling blood on her mouth cut her off.

He couldn't help it anymore. Angry tears streaked down his face and he clenched his teeth. A guttural growl escaped him.

'Ichigo...' she smiled and he wanted to kill himself.

'I'm sorry.' he wheezed. The sheet of tears was blurring his vision. 'I'm sorry, my love. I'm sorry. I love you. I'm sorry.'

'Good news.' she powered through and her grin grew. She ignored him completely, as if she was already losing her grip on reality. In her mind, she wasn't here and she wasn't in pain. It was the morning, and she and Ichigo were lying on the bed. He had just rolled over and kissed her nose, and she thought that he looked irresistible with his ebony hair and mischievous eyes. He was perfect. This was perfect. They were perfect together.

It was the perfect time to tell him.

He'd be so happy. He'd be ecstatic.

They could finally have it - their life together.

'Rukia.'

'Ichigo, we have a baby. I'm pregnant.'

The last shred of sanity he had left disintegrated.

His tears stopped. Time stopped.

She had stopped breathing.

'Rukia.'

No response.

'Rukia...'

Nothing.

'Rukia, damn it!' his voice cracked and he fell to his knees. He shook her lifeless form, her soft smile still on her lips. 'Rukia, talk to me! Say something, don't just...' he panted. It was getting harder to breathe or hear himself. His heartbeat was thundering in his eardrums. 'Don't, don't... Don't say that! Rukia, damn it, don't joke like that!'

Her blood was thick. Its coppery scent was permeating his senses.

An arrow pierced through his chest from behind. He hardly felt it. He assumed it was just more of his heart breaking.

It was only when he was struck again that he realized he was fatally wounded. He hunched over and allowed his back to be vulnerable so that he could cover Rukia's body with his own. He still clung onto the hope that she - and their child - would somehow make it out alive. Even though her skin was cold and paling. Even though he felt in spirit that was gone. He still wanted her to live. He still wanted to be with her.

She couldn't leave him. That wasn't what was supposed to happen.

Aizen.

How else could the enemy have gotten their powers? What other heavenly being besides Rukia shown an interest in this world?

With his fading consciousness, he made the connection that since it was Aizen who insisted that he marry the princess and therefore forget about Rukia, it must also be Aizen who was tearing them apart now.

Was this some kind of twisted order from Heaven?

Or was it just fate hammering down and saying that no, two beings of different realms are never meant to be together?

Aizen.

 _Aizen!_

'I'll come back for you.' Ichigo promised with his strangled breath. The weapons were cutting through flesh and bone but he found the vitality to speak. 'I'll come back stronger than you. I don't care what I have to do. I'll be a demon if I have to. I'll surpass all that you know so that I can have the power to destroy you. I'll come for you.' he looked up at the sky with Rukia cradled in his arms and the arrows drawing more and more of his blood. 'Aizen, Heaven, or whoever else; I'll destroy you!'

If Aizen was keeping them apart, he'd kill him.

If Heaven was keeping them apart, he'd crush it.

If the world was keeping them apart, then he'd change it.

That was a promise - and a grudge - that would last a thousand years if it had to.

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you so much to everyone supporting this story!

The next chapter will take us back to the present.

There are still some questions left unanswered, such as _Why did the Council decide to allow Rukia back to Ichigo's side?_ and _Why did Aizen create the Quincies?_ I promise that these questions will all be answered in later chapters.

Thank you to **Shirayuki992, ArtanisRose, anon, blissbeat, Cate-Deriana, achalida,** and **jobananasan**!

 **Shirayuki992** , the princess will remain identified. I want to keep the idea of destiny exclusive to Ichigo and Rukia. I feel like adding any of the gang into their past lives takes away from that. I hope this chapter clears everything up! Otherwise, feel free to ask me for clarifications.

 **Cate-Deriana** , I wonder that too! I like to think that it's because she wants him to remember her because she holds their bond close to her heart.

 **jobananasan** , oh my gosh I laughed so hard when you said "Trigger"! Well, Ichigo does want to protect all those under his wing. So naturally I feel that he was doing what he thought was best. Plus, he wasn't in a good state of mind then - his memories were flaring and he was being pressured by the people watching. So the reason the Quincies took to the battlefield will be revealed when Aizen comes into the story. He will be the main villain of this story. Yes, Rukia remembers everything!

Thank you so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	15. Crumbling

_'I'll see you again.' Ichigo cupped Rukia's cold visage. Even in death, she was impeccable. If it weren't for the blood smeared all over her celestial robes, he would have just assumed that she was asleep._

 _He wondered if she could hear him. Perhaps her spirit was hovering above them this very instant, trying to speak to him. But because of his mortal existence, there was no way he could hear her. Maybe she wasn't really dead. Maybe she had only discarded her physical body and was now returning to Heaven. He didn't really know how astral beings operated._

 _One thing was for sure; he was dying and he wouldn't see her again. Not for a long time._

 _'I'll see you again.' he repeated, ignoring the commotion of the battlefield. He was mortally wounded, though the pain of his exposed, searing flesh was nothing compared to the heaviness of his chest. 'I'll find you.' he smiled and his tears fell onto her peaceful face. 'Until then, my world will stop. I'll wait for you to come back to me.'_

 _He doesn't want to say he loves her, because he's trying desperately to convince himself that there will be a next time for that._

 _He wraps her in his arms. He collapses onto the ground and waits patiently for this all to be over._

 _And he hopes that when he wakes up again, he has better cards to play._

 _ **I killed us.**_

'Ichigo!' Orihime's voice broke through the nightmare.

When Ichigo awoke, he was laying down on his bed, surrounded by his wife and sisters. He took a few seconds to really register that he was back in the present timeline, with the new life he carved out for himself. A flurry of emotions surged through him; so many, in fact, that he failed to recognize anything other than disappointment.

Why was he here?

Why wasn't he with Rukia?

'Otou-san!' Kazui popped up from his peripheral. He hadn't even noticed that his son was right beside him. 'Otou-san, why...' he hugged his father by the neck. 'Why did you sleep for so long? I missed you.'

'What...?' Ichigo wrapped his arms around his child instinctually. He sat up, cringing at the creaky feebleness of his mortal body. It was a sharp change from his former physique - both when he was King and when he was more active as a shinigami - which boasted a strength he aggressively trained for. That body of his was a huge part of his formidable presence in the battlefield. Now he just felt weak. Apparently even getting up after sleeping for too long was an arduous task. He felt groggy, disoriented. 'Kazui, I'm fine. Don't worry about me.'

'But you were sleeping for so long! I didn't know if you were gonna wake up again!'

'How long?'

'Ichi-nii.' Karin interjected. She was holding Yuzu's shaking hands in hers. 'You've been asleep for a week.'

'Onii-chan, we were really scared.'

'Ichigo.' Orihime wiped away happy tears. 'I'm so glad. I'm so happy that you woke up. Urahara-san came over to try and wake you up, but we didn't know what was wrong with you. He had no idea what to do. We were all scared. So, so scared.'

Kazui held onto his father tighter. Ichigo noticed that the child's tiny fists were shaking, so he cradled Kazui as soothingly as he could.

'Ichigo.' Orihime continued. 'Thank goodness you're alright. I don't know what I'd do without you. I couldn't live without you. Maybe I'd, I-'

Kazoo's whole body was trembling now.

'Orihime, _stop_!' Ichigo hissed. As suddenly as he'd awoken from his slumber, he stood up and carried his son out the door with him.

* * *

'What you've committed is a crime.'

'With all due respect...' Rukia began confidently. Emotionally, she was in tip top shape. _Surprisingly_. It was just physically hard for her to keep upright. For some reason, Heaven's atmosphere was too heavy for her. She had been held in a cell for a week now awaiting a meeting with the Council, who were apparently contemplating charging her for what they felt was a crime. 'I was unaware of my celestial nature at the time. My felony was unintentional.'

'Which is why we, the Council, have decided not to punish you per se. What we seek is a remedy to this problem.'

'Please don't touch her!' she hissed rudely in front of Heaven's highest court.

'Why not? Assimilation is the best outcome for her.'

'Assimilation? Captain-'

'Please.' Jushiro Ukitake smiled. 'Refer to me more casually. We're no longer at Soul Society.'

'P-Pardon me. Ukitake- _san_.' she settled, for she felt strange about referring to her former superior without a honorific. 'Why assimilation? Renji won't be able to reach her here. I don't want to take Ichika away from her father. And besides, Ichika isn't completely celestial. She won't be able to take the air here. Even I'm having trouble adjusting to it. I don't think I can stay-'

'You have no choice. You can't stay in the human world, nor can you go back to Soul Society. You should know by now that our bodies are vulnerable to unholy influences. Your time in the Rukongai and as a member of the Gotei 13 meant that you adopted shinigami-like qualities, which were detrimental to your celestial chemistry. Those foreign characteristics, in fact, are so deeply enmeshed in who you are now that we standard procedures will not be able to separate them from your purely heavenly nature.'

'Which means that I can't stay here either. If I'm not purely celestial, then the atmosphere here is toxic to me, isn't it?'

'Yes. But if you go back to any other world, your celestial soul will constantly be eroded. You won't be able to survive it.'

'I've been fine so far.'

'No, you haven't. That's why your bankai could so easily destroy you. Who you want to be - it's not natural to you. Your soul is going to reject it. Then you'll disappear, and I'm sure no one in this court wants that.'

'I understand why I have to come back, but why Ichika?'

'It's the same for her as well. The shinigami side of her will poison her celestial blood. We can't allow that to happen. We look out for our own.'

'But assimilation? You can't take her away from her family, her friends, her _home_. That's cruel! She's only a child. What if she doesn't want to be like you? Why not let her celestial side disappear? She can't make that decision at her age! She's not your own! She's _mine_.'

'It doesn't work that way. It's not like she has a real choice in the matter. She herself will be directly affected by her celestial side weakening, and will weaken herself until she is crippled. It really is an unfortunate situation your daughter is in. Celestial genes were designed to never be spliced with any other organism. It's how we retain our purity.'

'Are you saying that Ichika is condemned to _die_?'

'Yes. Unless she becomes one of us.'

'How is that even possible? Renji isn't-'

'We separate the celestial from the foreign elements.'

'And _how_ is that possible?'

'We celestial beings are virtually indestructible. Life and death are only faraway concepts to us. Remember; the only reason you perished before was because of the human inside of you.'

'Don't go there.' Rukia grit her teeth. ' _Don't_. What is your point?'

'The sokyoku is designed to execute shinigami. It shouldn't be able to be successful on beings like us. If we use it on you and your daughter, we may be able to purify your souls.'

* * *

'Are you sure you don't need to keep an eye on your son?' Kisuke Urahara slid the door shut behind him. He had led Ichigo into a private room so that they could have a conversation. The orange-haired shinigami had actually approached the shopkeeper, saying that he had a lot of questions that needed to be answered. Kisuke didn't have to be told twice. He could see it in those amber eyes; something was brewing inside. Something potentially terrible.

'Why do you ask that? Kazui's a good kid, you know. He knows how to behave.' Ichigo shrugged off Kisuke's concern and sat down on a seating pillow.

'I heard from Hiyori that he can be a handful. And besides, I thought you were the type of dad to always wonder about his son's whereabouts.'

'You're acting like I left Kazui in the park or something. He's just in your shop with Tessai. Who do you think I am? I would never leave my son unattended.'

'Wouldn't it have been smarter to leave him at home then? Your wife and sisters are there.'

'Yeah, well...' Ichigo inhaled sharply. 'I don't think that's the best environment for him right now.'

'Hmm...' Kisuke frowned. 'I see.'

A long silence ensued. They could hear Kazui laughing in the distant background, juxtaposing the tense air between the two men.

When Ichigo finally broke through quiet, his words were bitingly direct.

'I had a dream.' he said. 'Do you wanna hear what it was about?'

'Sure.' Kisuke lowered his head so that the shadow from his hat would cover his eyes. 'Do tell.'

Ichigo ignored the encouragement. 'Why would you choose to put the hogyoku inside of Rukia?'

'It was convenient.'

'Was it really?'

'Yes.'

'Rukia was the most convenient choice? Out of all the souls at Soul Society? Rukia - a noble, surrounded by guards, a woman that keeps to herself and trusts practically no one - you chose _her_?'

'Yes.'

'Why?'

'Because if anyone was going to stop Aizen, it was going to be you. And for your powers to awaken, the soul transferring their vitality onto you would have to be compatible.'

'So you just magically knew that Rukia and I were compatible?'

Kisuke didn't respond. Ichigo stared long and hard at his old mentor.

Then it dawned on him.

His suspicions were confirmed.

'You knew.' Ichigo breathed. 'You knew who I was before.'

'Not really.' Kisuke took off his hat and held it to his chest. As if he were purposely making himself vulnerable as to not stimulate a violent reaction from his longtime client. 'I knew that Aizen was responsible for your demise. I knew that you and Kuchiki-san were key players in his game. But I didn't know that you and Kuchiki-san were connected so intimately back then until much later. I pieced the missing puzzle parts together.'

'Puzzle? Stop talking in riddles! How did you know-'

'I was conducting experiments to create hybrid souls, as you already know. When I was director of the research department, I did a lot of reading into the deepest records of documented foreign beings in Soul Society's records. I wanted to educate myself on as many different organisms as I could to figure out which ones I wanted to splice together. I wanted to familiarize myself with all their traits so that I could maximize their characteristics. Ginrei Kuchiki even handed over secret records that his clan were meant to safeguard. It was when his grandson - Byakuya - had fallen in love with an "angel" and Ginrei feared what she was. He wanted me to study her and show him that she was of no threat.'

'Hisana-san.'

'Yes. Kuchiki-san's sister.'

'So she's from Heaven, too? But she was in the Rukongai.'

'She was reborn as a human, as Kuchiki-san was.'

'But Rukia died when she was only an infant.'

'She was _killed_ , actually. By me.'

* * *

When Ichigo returned home with Kazui, he was evidently hot-tempered. Orihime tried to cheer him up by making jokes and fawning over him, but he brushed her off. She eventually backed off for fear of further rejection. Yuzu and Karin were used to their brother's mood swings by now. They knew to stay clear of him until he lightened up. Although Yuzu was greatly concerned, she had matured and learned not to be too emotionally invested in her brother's inner workings. She had to stay supportive of him, and that meant toughening herself up.

Ichigo went to bed early. He refused to have dinner. Kazui had already fallen asleep in the afternoon from the exhaustion of worrying over his father over the past week. Satisfied that his son had relaxed, Ichigo allowed himself to succumb to slumber.

What he had learned that day... It was too much.

He almost wished that he hadn't gone over to the shop.

His blood was boiling. He was consumed with red.

 _Aizen._

That night, Ichigo dreamt of a thousand ways to kill that man.

Yet amidst all the vengeance he revelled in in his dreamland, there was a moment of pure white - brilliant, luminous white.

And suddenly, he could feel Rukia's skin beneath his fingers.

Then that moment slipped away just as quickly as it had come.

He was going to find her.

She was in danger.

The next morning, Ichigo awoke to an empty bed. Orihime's side was quite messy, indicating that she had indeed slept beside him that night. Had he overslept? He checked the clock on his bedside. It was past noon. Had his brain just chosen to shut off?

He took a shower and dressed himself. Kazui would be at school and his sisters should be at the university. Orihime was unfamiliar with how to run the clinic, so he thought it was best to hurry up and open up the business. He'd go through the day as though nothing were wrong.

Then later, he'd...

'Are you feeling better today?' Orihime inquired cautiously when Ichigo entered the kitchen. She washed her hands. She had just finished washing the dishes. Her grey eyes were full of concern, and Ichigo was slightly miffed at himself for causing his wife to worry. He wondered for a second how Kazui must feel if Orihime was this upset.

Then he felt a tinge of anger.

'I'm fine.' he said firmly. 'So why are you looking at me like that?'

'Eh? Looking at you like…?'

'Like _that._ '

'What?'

'I'm trying to say that you look sad. Why?'

She flashed him a quizzical expression as if to say, _Isn't it obvious?_ 'Because I was worried about you.'

'But you don't have to look so sad. It's so weird that you do that.'

'You were asleep for a whole week! No one, not even Urahara-san could wake you up! I was stressed, I was crying nonstop! I'm still going through the emotions, of course I look sad!'

'Well, _don't._ ' he pressed. 'You're a mother. Put your child before yourself.'

'What are you talking about?! I always put Kazui before anything!'

'If that were true, then you wouldn't let him see you so upset. To the point where he loses confidence in you and he himself becomes upset!'

'Ichigo, I don't know what's going on with you.' she shook her head. 'But please be reasonable. I had no idea what was going on. We still don't know why you went into a coma. This is all really upsetting. It's like you're not allowing me to be bothered by any of this.'

'Of course you're allowed to be upset - for half a day at most. We're human, right? We're allowed to be human. But for Kazui's sake, you shouldn't have soaked in your despair! Haven't we been through worse? Didn't we fight all those battles? Against Soul Society, the Arrancars, the Quincies? Orihime, get yourself together. You should be stronger than this! You're _obligated_ to be stronger for our son!'

'Whether I was strong or not doesn't change the fact that his father wasn't waking up! He would have felt lonely either way!'

'But he wouldn't have to feel _alone_! You're suppose to be there, by his side, so that he isn't alone! That's why kids get two parents! When one's out, the other steps in! We're supposed to share the burden, but you're not strong enough to do that!'

'I dedicate my life to getting stronger for you!' she abandoned the stove and waltzed over to him. 'Everything I did, my powers - I honed them for you! So that I could be of use to you! So that I could protect you, heal your injuries again and again, so that you could fight the way you wanted to! Even if I worry about you, I still do it! For you!'

'That's not _right_!' he was exasperated. 'You should get stronger for yourself! For your pride! For your own peace of mind that you _can_ protect the people you love! It shouldn't be just about me! Aren't there other people that are important to you? Isn't your own son worth you swallowing your despair and putting your best foot forward? Why are you obsessing over my battles, Orihime?! What about your own?!

'You _are_ my battle!' she choked, tears brimming at the rims of her eyes. 'I'm always fighting! I try to do what I can to please you, but I always feel like I'm an afterthought to you!'

'If that's how you feel, then why are you still here?! If you know what you are to me, why are you here?!'

That cut her.

He didn't care.

She better not look like that when Kazui came back home.

'Even if the world is ending and you don't know what the fuck to do.' he growled. 'Don't let Kazui see any weakness in you.'

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you so much to everyone supporting this story! I'm sorry for not updating this sooner. Last month, my brain was scattered and I felt the urge to pen down all these different ideas running through me. I was also really unsure of how to go about this chapter.

Thank you to **achalida, Cate-Deriana, Shirayuki992, Redly24, blissbeat, onlyluna, jobananasan,** and **NieveDrop**!

 **Cate-Deriana** , thank you so much for your kind words! Your review was seriously heartwarming!

 **Shirayuki992** , Ichigo will be a lot more proactive with Rukia now!

 **jobananasan** , because Ichigo publicly rejected the bride, the marriage was not legitimized! Whoa, I feel like if I had to visually imagine it, that cinematography would definitely give the most impact. Especially with Ichigo's facial expressions; I feel like he wears his feelings on his face. Quite a few people know about the past! The question is why they kept it a secret.

 **NieveDrop** , the Quincies were generally clumsy during that time. That'll be brought up later, when Aizen comes in and puts the last pieces of the past together; why he did what he did and why he fell from Heaven (what you and I discussed!).

Thank you so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	16. Burning Men

'Okaasan!' Ichika hugged Rukia's neck. 'I missed you! You didn't visit me all week!'

'Shh.' Rukia cradled her beloved daughter soothingly. 'Quiet, sweetie. Remember what I told you? No one can know that I'm here.'

'Right! I'm sorry, Okaasan.'

'Don't be. I love you.'

The pair were in the Kurosaki bathroom. Ichika had crept into it in the middle of the night because she and her mother had agreed that that would be their meeting place. It sent chills up Rukia's spine every time they met in secret, for she knew that if Orihime sensed that she was around, there could only be consequences to suffer through. On the other hand, Ichika was more than happy to indulge in this convoluted game of hide and seek. It made the young girl feel special to be the only one who knew that Rukia was around, as though she were the guardian of a very important secret.

In truth, Rukia wasn't even supposed to visit the human world at all. Heaven only permitted it because of her attachment to Ichika.

 _We aren't so cruel as to tear a mother away from her offspring,_ Jushiro Ukitake had said. Perhaps not, but the Council also threatened to lock the child up in a cell if Rukia violated the terms of her pseudo parole - that no other organism could be aware of her presence while in the human world. So far, she was doing well.

'Okaasan, why didn't you visit me all week?'

'I'm sorry.' _I was in jail, basically._ 'It won't happen again.'

'Yay!'

'Ichika, don't you miss Soul Society?'

'Not really. I like it here!'

Rukia's chest tightened. 'Do you want to stay here?'

'Mm... I don't know! I don't care. Where do you go, Okaasan? I wanna go too!'

'About that... You can, if you want.'

* * *

'I'm guessing you're here to ask me to open up a senkaimon. Is that right?' Kisuke Urahara tilted his head downwards. It was a habit of his that he subconsciously displayed whenever he was unsure of what to make of a situation.

'You're damn right.' Ichigo stood before the shop owner, clad in his shinigami attire. Amber orbs shone with undertones of fire. Those piercingly passionate eyes made him seem taller, bigger, prouder. It was as if he had acquired power a new, exotic power. The power of newfound resolve, perhaps? Whatever it was behind those confident chestnuts was strong. Kisuke was reminded of the first time Ichigo headed to Soul Society, to save Rukia - when being a shinigami was unfamiliar to him.

'Well, then... Let's head downstairs, shall we?'

'Before that, there's something I wanted to ask you.'

'Let's hear it.'

'You killed her.' Ichigo stated. Kisuke did not move a single muscle. 'You _killed_ her.' he repeated. 'What did you mean by that?'

'It's exactly as you heard it. I killed her.'

'Why?'

'It was an accident. Her death was unintentional.'

'An accident?'

'Yep. No biggie, just-'

Ichigo grabbed his former mentor by the fabric of his kimono and pushed him against the wall. Kisuke made no move to reach for his zanpakuto and instead his arms fell limp at his sides, his fan hitting the floor.

'No biggie? Rukia's _gone_!' Ichigo growled. 'They took her away from me again. Aizen's one of them. If he was so invested in the hogyoku, then they must have been interested in it as well. So how do _you_ fit into all of this? Why did you try to recreate it?'

'Kurosaki-san-'

'Tell me!' he placed both hands on the older man's neck. His grip was firm, but not deadly. Although his shaking fingers indicated that he was very much tempted to tighten his stronghold. 'Tell me now! Tell me everything! Or I swear, I'll tear your head off with my teeth if I have to! I'm done playing into these sick games you fucking scientists play! Like you're a god or some shit like that! You messed with a woman that I _loved_ \- maybe we could have been together if you hadn't interfered! If she and I had met sooner, if I knew her sooner, if we didn't have to be from two different places...!' he trailed off but continued to glare at Kisuke with a venomous snarl.

'You're right.' Kisuke gently pried Ichigo's hands away from his neck. 'If I hadn't placed the hogyoku inside of Kuchiki-san, maybe you two would have met sooner. But then Aizen would have most definitely succeeded, and we would all be at the mercy of that madman. Is that what you want? A world where every sentient being is reduced to his chess pieces? If he had ruled over the Heavens - like he promised he would when he first revealed that he was behind Kuchiki-san's execution - it wouldn't just have been the human world. Soul Society, Hell, and Heaven; they would have all perished under his hand. Is that what you want? To be with Kuchiki-san, but in a world where no light exists?'

'Maybe you were right to do what you did.' Ichigo guardedly conceded. 'But if you don't walk me through your logic, then I can never understand you. Tell me. Tell me why you did what you did, so that I can justify the pain that I suffered through as I lay dying in front of my lover's corpse after I stabbed her and our child to death!'

'Believe it or not, your baby's death is the reason this world escaped Aizen's plans.'

The next thing Kisuke's brain registered was the sight of blood from his nose dripping onto the tatami mats, followed by a stinging bone ache at his cheeks. He swallowed sweet copper. Damn. Ichigo had hit him hard. Kido would take care of Kisuke's face, but he was more worried about what that dramatic - and unnecessary - punch showed about Ichigo's mental state. It probably wasn't the smartest idea to let him storm into Soul Society with impulsive rage in his heart.

But it would be cruel to deny him the closure.

Kisuke shook his head to still the spinning room. He blinked away his dizziness and looked up to see a furious Ichigo.

The fist that had assaulted the former captain was trembling angrily. Ichigo was panting heavily, his chest rising and falling in a quivering rhythm. His jaw was tightly clenched so that his cheekbones showcased their sharp angles. There was an intimidating heat radiating off his body and Kisuke decided that it was best to speak up now before this wrath evolved any further.

'I placed the hogyoku inside of Kuchiki-san in the hopes of awakening her dormant celestial qualities. The procedure itself was a success. As expected, the hogyoku accepted her soul because they shared the same angelic nature. Sadly, her human body died. But her soul was able to pass onto the Rukongai safely, with the hogyoku inside of her.'

'And Hisana-san...?'

'She willingly took her own life to follow her sister onto the next world.' Kisuke stood up, wiping his bloody upper lip with his sleeve.

'Why would she do that?'

'Hisana-san was one of Aizen's pawns back then as well. He used her, manipulated her feelings for her sister, to convince her that the best course of action was to extract Kuchiki-san from you.'

'But...' Ichigo wondered if this was appropriate to ask. 'But Hisana-san was Byakuya's wife, wasn't she? Her soul was human at some point.'

'That... That was unexpected.' Kisuke raised his eyebrows and nodded, as if even he couldn't believe it. 'Hisana-san, worn out from her many human rebirths, snapped one day. I guess she didn't want to be burdened by the guilt of contributing to her sister's mortality. She left Kuchiki-san in the Rukongai and then fled to live a life of solitude. She wanted to rot away peacefully. I think she didn't ever want to see Kuchiki-san again. She felt like she didn't deserve to be called her sister. She blamed herself for misjudging what you and Kuchiki-san had. She didn't get what love meant. Who knew she'd find a lover herself? Ironically, coming to understand why Kuchiki-san was so desperate to stay with you in the first place. Back then, Hisana-san didn't believe in human emotions. But she...'

'She...?'

'She became pretty human herself, don't you think?'

'Human, celestial... I don't really understand it. If the hogyoku was inside of Rukia from the very beginning, why haven't her celestial powers activated until now?'

'She was around human souls in the Rukongai, wasn't she?'

'So?'

'From my understanding of the existing literature and my own research, celestial beings possess reiatsu that is easily permeable. If she was around human souls, then her reiatsu would mirror their qualities. Renji has been her friend since childhood. His reiatsu must've stimulated her own reiatsu to develop into that of a shinigami's. Then she enrolled into the shinigami academy where she was around shinigami all the time. Thus, she became a shinigami. But there is a limit to this, of course.'

'A limit?'

'Have you seen Rukia's bankai?'

'Yeah. We were training with Squad Zero together. I know of its abilities.'

'A bankai that damages its user... Don't you find that strange? And for her to be able to use it for only a few seconds - isn't that odd?'

'What's your point?'

'Bankai is a high achievement for any shinigami. Only the most formidable and dedicated are able to successfully hone it. Of course, it takes up a lot of one's reiatsu to sustain it. When Kuchiki-san's shinigami reiatsu is being used, her latent celestial nature is endangered. It starts to reject this mirroring of reiatsu. So it starts to suppress her shinigami abilities. And if she continues to make use of her shinigami powers anyway, her celestial influence destroys it, destroying her. That's why Kuchiki-san's bankai is so dangerous to her.'

'The hell? Why do angels self-destruct?'

'I don't know. But it may be Heaven's method of controlling the organisms under their command. Heaven is elitist, by the way. They believe that anything that isn't celestial is impure. So if one of their own is "contaminated," then they don't think twice about tossing them aside. But it's also interesting, that the same beings who discriminate against those who are not like them are easily susceptible to that which doesn't resemble them.'

'So what do they want with Rukia?'

'I don't know, Kurosaki-san. I really don't know. After she died during your first lifetime, she was punished. Heaven wanted nothing to do with her. That's why she was reborn as a human, and passed onto Soul Society. They didn't count on her celestial nature reactivating without their intervention.'

'Rukia was punished? Why?'

'I don't know.'

'And Aizen? I remember him with... wings. Was he punished too?'

'Yes and no.'

'The hell does that mean?'

'I could tell you.' Kisuke slid the door open. 'But I think you want to hear it from him. You also have a lot more questions that I quite frankly don't know the answer to. This time, you want all your questions answered, don't you? That's why you're going, isn't it?'

Ichigo averted his gaze. 'There's a lot I don't understand.' he admitted. 'I should probably ask about those things. But...'

'Kurosaki-san?'

'I don't care.'

'What?'

'I don't care.' Ichigo repeated, crossing his arms over his chest. 'Maybe I do care, actually. But it's all just too much right now. Ywach, Aizen... I should care about all that that. But I can't right now. Because all I can think about is Rukia. I'm worried about her. I hope she's OK.'

'Then why are you going to Soul Society?'

'Kyoraku-san exiled Rukia, didn't he? He must know where she is.'

'That's not how this works. Don't you think Kuchiki-san's exit makes no sense? Well, Heaven doesn't have to. Soul Society has to blindly agree. If Heaven sent a messenger and relayed an order, the Captain-Commander would have had no choice but to obey. It's not like he'd know anything.'

'Then Aizen will know something.'

'Even if he does, how do you intend to get to Heaven? It's not like Soul Society, where I can open up a senkaimon and let you in. No one knows how to get there.'

'I guess I'll find out.'

'Kurosaki-san.' Kisuke shook his head slowly. 'You're in over your head here. Heaven is different. Don't-'

'You were the one who told me that my feelings were stronger than steel. Right now, I feel that I need to see Rukia. I need to talk to her and make sure she's alright. I won't rest until I find her.'

'And then what? Kuchiki-san is back where she belongs.'

'You don't know that.' Ichigo's tone was stern. 'Rukia has a new life now. She has a husband, a daughter, a family. She loves them. They love her. She's accomplished so much. She's living her dreams. She doesn't want to leave, I know that. Even though it was her decision to leave, I remember...'

His mind wandered off to the last time he saw her, when she had frozen the majority of the clinic. Her long hair flailed wildly and her impressive wings stretched tall and proud on either side of her. Their gazes met for only a second, and those eyes of hers were wavering with intense hurt.

She probably hated him.

But she didn't want to leave. It hurt her to leave.

There was something so fundamentally wrong about seeing Rukia hurt.

'Kurosaki-san?'

'I remember how sad she looked.' he finished his thought. 'For sure, she didn't want to leave.'

'She might not want to stay either.'

'I know that. Even so, I have to find her.'

* * *

'Where are you going, Byakuya?' Ginrei Kuchiki stepped feebly in front of his only grandson. Though he was an elder man, his willpower translated as best as it could to into his body's actions.

'Jii-sama.' Byakuya tried not to look surprised. He had just slid open the doors of his room, not expecting anyone to be waiting for him. Yet there stood his grandfather, bent over from age, supporting his weight on a walking cane. It would be rude not to entertain him.

'Answer me.' Ginrei pressed. 'Where are you going?'

'Kurosaki Ichigo has just set foot into the Seireitei. I have sensed his presence.'

'So...?'

'I would like to see him.'

'What for?'

'There is a matter I would like to discuss with him.'

'Evidently. What is it?'

'That is confidential.'

Ginrei didn't say anything more, so Byakuya nodded and excused himself. He only just passed his senior when Ginrei spoke again. 'Is this about the angel?'

Byakuya stopped in his tracks.

'I already know.' Ginrei continued. 'That you know. Your stoic face is excellent at hiding your emotions. Your reiatsu, not so much. That, and I know that you have accessed all the records of Heaven in our library.'

Byakuya still remained silent.

'Well, Byakuya? Care to elaborate as to why you would like to speak with that boy about a being that should none of our concern?'

'You knew about Hisana.'

'Yes.' he lowered his voice. 'I did.'

'You told me nothing. All that time together, and I never knew.'

'There was no need for you to know.'

'You knew about my _wife_.' Byakuya spoke through gritted teeth. 'You knew that I was making her _sick_ -'

'What difference would it have made if you were aware of what she was?' Ginrei cooly interrupted. 'She chose to be with you. You were in love with her; so intensely, in fact, that you went against aristocratic doctrine just so that she could be recognized as your wife. You could have quietly taken her in as a concubine.'

'State your point.'

'Even if you had known, would you have proceeded with the situation differently? You wanted to be with her. She wanted to be with you. Living with her by your side, knowing that her time here was what was responsible for her ill health, would have only burdened you.'

'But I would have _known_.' Byakuya insisted. 'I could have done something!'

'Done what?'

'I do not know. But I would have damn well tried everything I could!'

'Are you projecting your regrets onto Kurosaki Ichigo? That is unwise, Byakuya. Because you could not save Hisana, does not mean that Kurosaki Ichigo will be able to save her sister. You should not seek to insert yourself into the situation.'

'She is my family now as well.'

'She is not one of us. Neither is that boy. Rukia has returned to where she truly belongs, and that child just cannot accept that he can no longer see her. Let him get through his mourning on his own. Do not try to bring them together. Do not tamper with fate.'

'You knew about everything and yet said nothing!' Byakuya snarled uncharacteristically. 'And now you have the moral ascendancy to dictate my actions?! What is right or wrong - you have no right to decide that!'

'And you do?'

'Jii-sama.' Byakuya balled his hands into fists. 'Sayonara.'

With a flash step, he was gone.

'Oh, Byakuya...' the former Kuchiki head gazed up at a clear, blue sky. 'You never did fully rid yourself of your impulsive nature, did you?'

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you to everyone supporting this story!

Thank you to **RukiYuki, Kendall, Shirayuki992, Redly1024, blissbeat, achalida, NieveDrop, Luna-Dara, onlyluna, michelous, Cate-Deriana, jobananasan,** and the **Guest** reviewers!

 **Shirayuki992,** I thought that Orihime not going to university was so weird, considering it was highlighted in the manga that she was smart, capable, and ambitious. Ichigo may be keeping a level-headed aura now because he's resolved to be useful rather than sulk. He's more mature now. As for Ichigo's intentions; that will be the main focus of the following chapters! It'll be quite plot-heavy. Orihime's relationship with Ichigo will also be brought up again.

 **Redly1024,** I agree with everything that you said. Also, Ichika is still at the house! But as you can tell from this chapter, that may change soon.

 **Cate-Deriana** , ahh thank you so much for your support despite the hiatus! Orihime will definitely develop more in this story.

 **Guest** , and thank you for supporting me!

 **jobananasan** , yes you understood correctly. I hope this chapter answers some of your questions! Byakuya did not know that Hisana was an angel. Ginrei knew because the Kuchiki clan is in charge of Soul Society's records. But after Hisana married Byakuya, Ginrei handed over the documents back to Yamamoto because he didn't want Byakuya finding out. Also, Heaven in this story is a third party that no one wants to mess with. Ginrei would rather turn a blind eye to Hisana's celestial nature rather than try and figure out why she's around or find her sister. Shinigami don't want to associate with Heaven, and you'll find out why in later chapters. Urahara is not an angel. Ukitake and Urahara's past together will be brought up in later chapters. Yes, Hisana was frail because she was away from Heaven. As for your questions about the hogyoku, I can't answer them without spoiling it! HAHA that imagery wins. Yes, Ichigo's outburst was loaded with the frustration he felt about Rukia. Ichigo and Orihime will be brought up again, but I'd like to focus on plot advancement with Heaven in the next few chapters.

Thank you so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	17. Heaven's Heart

Rukia was seated on a single chair within the confines of her cell. Although she was not necessarily considered a prisoner of Heaven, the Council didn't trust her to roam around unattended for some reason. Hisana was outraged when she learned that her sister was to be locked up, but she had no way in the matter. The only time Rukia was allowed to leave her dungeon was when she visited the human world to see her daughter.

 _Ichika._

The budding shinigami was so excited when Rukia suggested that they could be together in this dimension, wherein outside entry was normally forbidden. But Rukia had been presented with a convincing argument by the Council. If Ichika were to stay at Soul Society, her celestial qualities would inevitably awaken and she wouldn't be able to sustain living the way she had been. Rukia considered that it would be cruel to take Ichika away from her friends and father, but it would be crueler to allow her to form seemingly unbreakable bonds with them only for those same connections to be forcibly severed.

It would quite literally be a question of life or death.

Surely, Ichika would choose life. Surely being an angel was better than being _dead_.

And yet, Rukia didn't have it in her spotlight her daughter like that. Ichika was at the pinnacle of her naivety; happy and full of life from the new, simple joys she was discovering every single day. Rukia decided that although she was Ichika's mother, she was just one person. At least at Soul Society, Ichika had Renji, Byakuya, everyone. It just wasn't worth it for Ichika to abandon her current happiness for the sake of pledging her obedience to an ancestral line she never knew she was a part of.

So when she ascended to Heaven empty-handed, the Council frowned upon her decision. They demanded to know the logic behind her defiance, and Rukia all too readily replied.

 _'You want me to return to Heaven because my life is in danger.' she clarified._

 _'That is correct.'_

 _'Am I also correct in assuming that the reason you want Ichika to come with me is that her life is in danger as well?'_

 _'Precisely.'_

 _'Except her life **isn't** in danger. I just saw her. She's fine. Her shinigami reiatsu has barely begun its upward trajectory. As long as she doesn't gain too much power, there's no need for her celestial nature to start contradicting her shinigami roots.'_

 _'You are only delaying the inevitable. Eventually, she must come home.'_

 _'She doesn't have to do anything. It's her life. I don't want to make that decision for her.'_

 _'You're her mother. You know what's best for her.'_

 _'No.' she shook her head. 'Ichika is her own person. I want her to be free to make that decision on her own.'_

 _'Again, you are only delaying the inevitable.'_

 _'I am giving Ichika her freedom.'_

Surprisingly, Heaven didn't force its will on the already grieving mother.

Rukia didn't care what Heaven thought. Ichika was a shinigami. A proud shinigami. She would always be one. She would live and die as one. And if she didn't want to, then she could make that decision when the time came. Ichika wasn't dying. She wasn't sick or hurting anywhere. She was fine. Rukia would watch over her. She'd visit frequently. The first sign of physical degradation would signal to her that it was time for her daughter to make that important decision of who she wanted to be.

She sensed another presence within her vicinity. It snapped her out of her thoughts.

'Ukitake-san...?'

'Sharp as always.' he appeared before her, on the other side of her cell. 'Your true strength really comes out in your original celestial form.'

'I'm ready.' she puffed her chest out. She was referring to her soul purification through the sokyoku. 'I've been ready for quite some time now. Don't tell me you've changed your mind.'

'It's not that.'

'Then why is it taking so long? I thought that preparations were made even before I returned.'

'There's been a bit of an unexpected blip.' Jushiro's eyes hardened uncharacteristically. His former subordinate picked up on that. It irked her to see this notoriously gentle man showing any signs of aggression. Even in the battlefield, he was saint-like in his compassion and mercy for the enemy. Yet right now, those darkening brown orbs deepened with a bubbling apprehension that sent a shiver up Rukia's spine. He looked like he was about to lash out and bite her. What was getting him so nervous? Why was he teetering on the edge of fury?

What could cause a celestial face to appear so terrifyingly human?

'Ukitake-san?'

'There's somebody who wants to see you.'

'Who...?' she breathed a broken whisper, but Jushiro did not make the mistake of assuming that her voice was reflective of any brokenness inside of her. He caught that glimmer of life, that spark of humanity and longing and _hope_ that passed her by whenever _he_ was mentioned.

'He's someone you know very well.'

'Ukitake-san, what do you mean?' she stood up and began a painfully slow walk towards him, as close as she could get. Her shaking fingers curled weakly around the icy bars of her cell. Her lips quivered. She suddenly felt very cold. It was the type of iciness that began in the forgotten recesses of her failing humanity, rippling to and crashing against her bones like a biting virus that both hurt her and gave her life. Along with the frost of fear came the fire of hope - she didn't need her former captain to expand on the implication in his words. She already knew. 'That fool.' she choked. 'I told him... I told him not to come after me.'

'Did you really think he would listen to you this time?' Jushiro cracked a smile. Rukia's chest tightened. Looks like not even Heaven could completely rid this man of his sincerity.

'Don't hurt him.'

'I can't promise anything.' he whispered, his eyes soft. 'What happens to him is not my decision to make.'

'You're the head of the Council.' her tone turned pleading. 'I know you have some influence, so please-'

'I don't have any influence. I'm just a face. The majority of the Council have to agree on a decision for it to pass.'

'Don't pretend like this is a democracy. You'll do what you want to do or what you think is necessary, regardless of the opinions of others.'

' _I_ don't want to do anything. I didn't ask for this to happen. I don't want to hurt Ichigo-kun, but I can't control the Council.'

'Then convince them not to hurt him.'

'I can try, but it won't work. You know how they are. You know how _we_ are.'

'There is no "we"!' she hissed. 'You won't have me be a part of this. If you're going to hurt him, I-'

'What? What can you do? You're not thinking straight. You're just going to make the situation worse. It's already delicate enough as is...'

'Let me talk to him.' her heartbeat was beating dangerously fast. 'I need to explain-'

'You will _not_.'

'Who's he going to talk to?! _You_?!'

'If it needs to come to that, yes.'

'Ukitake-san, don't.' her legs were giving out. Her grip on the bars was weakening. She began a gradual slump to the floor, not once breaking eye contact with her superior. 'Don't. I know what you're going to do, don't-'

'I'm sorry. I wish I could help you.'

With that, he turned on his heel.

'Wait.' she rasped. 'Don't. Don't, don't.'

'I'm very, very sorry.'

* * *

'Byakuya.' Ichigo narrowed his eyes. 'Move.'

'Calm down, boy.'

Ichigo had barely stepped down from the senkaimon before Byakuya intercepted him. The two exchanged hard glances. Byakuya noted with knowing concern that amber eyes were scalding in their passion. It wasn't the fire that burst forth from the excitement of battle or the prospect of war; rather, it was the heat of a frenzied spirit from a man who had just remembered a long-forgotten purpose.

'Your impulsivity will prove to be your downfall.'

'I'm not impulsive.' Ichigo retorted. 'I've had time to think. Though to be honest, I really didn't need to think about anything. Rukia's in danger. Getting her back isn't even a question.'

'She may not be in danger at all.'

' _Bullshit_! Byakuya, get out of my way! Stay out of this! There's a lot that you don't know!'

'I _know_.' a brief flash of emotion before ice. 'I _do_ know.'

Ichigo froze. 'Then you know that Hisana-san-'

'Yes.'

'For how long?' Ichigo suddenly shifted to anger. A hand flew to the hilt of his zanpakuto. His reiatsu flared in hyperbolic fluctuations, reminiscent of his younger days when power threatened to burst through his mortal skin. 'How long have you known?!'

'Only recently. Around the same time that you remembered who you are.'

'Then you know that I can't listen to you! Get out of here! Move aside!'

'Impatience is a sin in this case. Tread carefully. You do not even know who your enemy is.'

'Do you think that it matters to me who exactly I have to fight? I don't care who, where, or how I have to fight in order to get Rukia back! I'll pass through a million blades if I have to!'

'I understand your feelings. Yet it seems that you do not understand Rukia's feelings.'

'What are you talking about?!'

'Based on my lieutenant's report, my sister left of her own accord. Do you corroborate this information?'

'Yes.' was Ichigo's hesitant reply.

'Then she must have a purpose as to why she left so abruptly.'

'I had faith in that. I _have_ faith... in _her_. But the Rukia I know is too compassionate for her own good. She wouldn't willingly leave her daughter in my household for a second knowing that neither Ichika's father nor mother could be around to reassure her that everything's alright, let alone an entire week!'

'Perhaps it was a matter of survival.'

'The hell are you on about?!'

Byakuya was visibly confused. Was Ichigo being dense on purpose? 'Surely you are aware that being around non-celestial entities is toxic to my sister.'

'I _know_ that. Get to the point.'

'Then...' What the fuck? Didn't he get it? Why was he being so thick-skinned?

'What, Byakuya?!'

'She cannot be around you.'

Ichigo's eyes widened.

'You are all that is not holy to them.' Byakuya continued. 'You are not human, or shinigami, or hollow - you are all of the above. To those who reside in Heaven, you are the devil's potion, their achilles heel. The only scenario worse than that of her staying by your side is if you were to impregnate her again-'

'Don't.' Ichigo spoke through clenched teeth. 'Don't you dare.'

'My apologies.'

'And the hell is that supposed to mean?' the whites surrounding amber began to redden ferociously. Both because the memory of Rukia bearing his child brought a world of pain, and because the anger he felt in equal measure practically boiled his brains. 'You speak as if that was such a bad thing. It could have been beautiful. We could have been together, forever - instead of this shit.'

'Impossible. You would have killed her.'

 _I did kill her!_

'Byakuya!' he let go of his sword and seized the older man by the neck with both hands. Shaking hands were struggling not to crush his senior's bones. The noble was aware of this internal struggle, but made no move to back away from his assailant. 'Fuck you! Choose your words wisely! I'm not joking around here! What happened between her and I was no joke! How could you fucking talk about death and _my baby_ as though what happened was no big deal?! Show some fucking respect, you piece of-'

'I meant no disrespect.'

'Fuck you!'

'You could have been together?' Byakuya's bitterness seeped into his words. 'Do not make false assumptions. Your child was inside of her. You, a mere human at the time, were inside of her in the form of another organism. You were poison to her. I am sure that you witnessed her deterioration.'

'Fuck you!' he let go abruptly and clawed at his temples. No, no! He didn't want to remember. He didn't want to recall how Rukia was weak and dying right beside him, every morning after they _made love_ , and how he didn't know that he was killing her because he loved her and he would never, ever, not in a million years-

He suspected that that was the case after Kisuke Urahara revealed that human toxicity was a very real danger to an angel.

But even so, he didn't want to believe.

'So...' Ichigo swallowed. 'So being with me... Even if my sword hadn't pierced her, she still would have-'

'She chose to be with you.' Byakuya said his words slowly to hammer their meaning onto the younger man. 'She knew what the risks were and yet she chose you. She was between life and death, and she chose you. Rather than wallow in despair, would it not be more respectful of her wishes to honour them and do all that you can to be with her? That was what she wanted. I know that she still wants that today. So...' he placed a hand on Ichigo's shoulder. 'You need to reflect on what _you_ want. Is being with Rukia really what you want? Or shall you cast her aside again? My sister cannot go through that heartache a third time. What is it that you really want?'

 _I-_

'I want _her_.'

Byakuya shut his eyelids.

'Did you not hear a word I said, Kurosaki Ichigo? You are all that is not right in her world. You are a shinigami, a hollow, a human-'

'But he's a Quincy!' Shunsui Kyoraku shredded through the tension of the two men, whose heads whipped around in the direction of the newcomer. 'And all Quincies came from Heaven. They have that elitist, celestial quality thing that we're apparently too barbaric to possess. So if anyone has a snowball's chance in hell of reaching Rukia-chan, it's you, Ichigo-kun.'

* * *

Alone in her cell, Rukia had retreated back into the melancholic state of mind that provided her some comfort whenever she was faced by impossible situations. She pondered not on what to do, but of what would become of her when all this was over. After all, she knew that the cogs of fate were twisting and turning again in an eery, mechanical cycle. It was a sad realization to her that this wasn't new to her. She had been in several situations before wherein she was forced to bend over and wait on her knees for it all to be over. She already knew what it felt like to need to be saved, or to face death square in the eyes.

Rukia knew what it felt like to be powerless. She didn't like it, not one bit.

Still, the hope and happiness that overwhelmed whenever she was presented with the prospect of being saved - she could never soften the blow of that.

 _Am I still that important to you?_

Rukia shook her head. Her resolve was waning. She had tried so hard over the past decade to catch herself whenever she was making that false assumption again; that being important enough to Ichigo that he wanted to reach her where he shouldn't be able to meant that he was _in love_ with her.

Because he wasn't.

Right?

She buried her face in her hands. Her temples were aching from a mind-splitting headache. Ichigo was doing it again; he was confusing her. She had already resolved a long time ago to accept that her feelings for him weren't reciprocated. She convinced herself that she could move on and that even if she wasn't necessarily happy with Renji, she could be happy with her _family_ \- and Renji was a part of that family.

She told herself that she didn't need Ichigo.

Oh, but she _wanted_ -

'Stupid.' she whispered to herself, loud enough so that the bright white around her broke with the crack of her voice. 'So stupid. I'm so, so-'

 _I still want you to love me back._

'Stupid.'

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you so much to everyone supporting this story!

Thank you to **RukiYuki, onlyluna, NieveDrop, Cate-Deriana, Kasai to Kasumi, Shirayuki992, achalida, blissbeat, jobananasan** and **Luna-Dara**!

 **RukiYuki,** the ending to this story will be happy.

 **Cate-Deriana,** yes I was trying to parallel Ichigo and Byakuya! Thank you so much! NieveDrop and I are trying really hard to resolve the plot holes.

 **Kasai to Kasumi** , ahh thank you so much for your continued support! I was worried the chapter was too heavy on the information, but it needed to be done in order for the story to make sense.

 **Shirayuki992** , Urahara will be explained in later chapters! As well as the origins of the hogyoku. Ichigo's relationship with Orihime will also be tackled later.

 **jobananasan** , I also think that Rukia is someone who values freedom and happiness, which is why I made it so that her ultimate decision was to leave Ichika at Soul Society. Urahara killed Rukia. Hisana took her own life because she couldn't bear the thought of Rukia fending for herself. I assumed Ginrei was alive because I thought he was the guy with the cane when Byakuya adopted Rukia. LOL, this story will definitely not be doing the benevolent portrayals of angels any justice!

Thanks so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	18. Protecting And Loving

'Good evening, Rukia. How are you?'

Rukia was kneeling in the middle of the Council's rooms. Her hands were joint at the wrists, shackled to each other by chains. She was a provided with a white kimono, which she donned, as well as a red choker which apparently served as a seal that purified her of non-heavenly contaminants in her body. In fact, she was told by the guards escorting her to her current location that the uniform of a prisoner awaiting execution at the sokyoku was fashioned after the robes given to impure angels to wear if they had to be exorcised of all unholy demons.

The committee members formed a circle around her. Ten sets of curious eyes examined her with calculated interested, as though they were trying to deem whether or not she was still of use to them. Even Jushiro Ukitake, whose gaze had once been a gentle reminder that there were good souls in this world, stared at her with all the empathy of a snake about to eat the frog. She felt like the main attraction at a a circus show. They probably wondered why she was still here. She was no angel. She wasn't even human.

 _I'm a shinigami._

She would take that self-proclaimed title to the grave.

'I'm fine.' she feebly answered. 'I'm just fine.'

'You don't look too well.' Jushiro spoke. 'Is something the matter?'

'No.'

'Are you sure? We want to help you, you know.'

'Ah...' she raised a defiant brow. 'Funny... You had me fooled all this time. Here I was, thinking you were trying to kill me-'

'Kuchiki... Why would we want to do that?'

'I don't know.' she shrugged. 'It just appropriate, since you've imprisoned me even though I've done nothing wrong.'

'We told you - your confinement is for your own good. We want to help you.'

'Help me by making me weak? I'm rotting away in my cell. I grow weaker and weaker by the day, I'm worried about-'

'That's because of your choker. As the spiritual pollution is filtered from your celestial body, you'll experience physical weakness for quite some time. Your heavenly reiatsu has gotten accustomed to fusing with your shinigami blood, so separating the two will naturally lead to you feeling strange for a while. Don't worry, you'll soon find strength as you regain your purity. And after the sokyoku exiles the unwanted reiatsu in you, you'll be stronger than you've ever known. Being a shinigami holds you - _us_ \- back. No longer will you be tied down by rituals that make no sense, morals that have no foundation, hypocrisy; all you'll know is power, clean and untouched by that which is arbitrary.'

'Ukitake-san, I've been thinking about what you said and to be honest, I don't want to get rid of my shinigami powers. I liked my life. I like who I became. I don't miss being here at all. There's too much waiting for me back home, at Soul Society. I've formed bonds, achieved dreams, and created a story for myself. So even if it means that I'm going to die, that I'm going to be mortal - I _want_ to remain a shinigami.'

Rukia expected to be scolded by the Council, but the committee remained eerily silent. She could hear her breathing amidst the dense quietness of the atmosphere. She almost felt like she was frozen in time, weighed down by blinding weight and the anxiety bubbling inside of her as she was scrutinized by the gazes of perfectly unmoving figures. Jushiro was the only one who moved a muscle. He crossed his arms over his chest and hummed in deep thought.

'Hmm...'

 _Please let me go._

'Kuchiki, you say that you want to be a shinigami?'

'I _am_ a shinigami.'

'And you want it to stay that way?'

'Yes.'

'Even though you finally remember?'

Rukia tensed.

Her bones stiffened so that it seemed as though she perked up, though it was easy to tell that she was anything but uplifted. Her back arched bow-taut. She sat up straighter, sitting on shaking heels. The ground beneath her felt soft all of a sudden. She felt like she was sinking. Jushiro's words rang in her mind in somewhat of a blur. The impeccable white of Heaven was giving her a headache. How did she ever feel comfortable here? This place was horrendous. There was nothing here. Nothing for her, or for anybody. She couldn't build a life here. A heavenly existence was one laced with loneliness and uncertainty. Well... that wasn't entirely true. Being in Heaven, she was certain of the emptiness she would have to endure from here on out.

Why did angels exist?

To protect humans.

But why? What greater purpose did she serve under Heaven's ruling?

There had to be something more, something fulfilling. Yet the more she searched for that, the emptier she felt inside, and the more she wanted to be anything but an angel.

Unfeeling blue eyes glossed over with something akin to pain, but more closely resembling anger. She was pissed. She had finally become a substantial being, even if her choices were questionable. Even though she may not necessary have lived the best life or achieved the best outcome possible for herself, it was still her life. At least she had one.

If she returned to Heaven, what was the point of living the life she had so far? It would all be for nothing. And if she resumed her tasks as an angel as she had done so before she became mortal, why was she to do as she was told? She had no investment in this community, nor did they make an effort to develop camaraderie amongst one another.

Being an angel was like being a fish in an aquarium that housed only one of each species. The angels were distant from each other, unless they were family - as she and Hisana were. Even then, she and Hisana had simply developed an uncharacteristically close bond. Unfortunately, not close enough so that they shared a mutual respect and trust that overcame Sosuke Aizen's mind games.

'Kuchiki?'

'Oh.' she remembered to breathe. Apparently, she had been holding her breath in this entire time. 'Ukitake-san...?'

'You want to be a shinigami? You want to remain down there, even though you finally remember?'

'What... What do you mean?'

'Now that you remember, can you really stomach how the humans operate? The shinigami and Quincies too - although they have powers that ordinary humans do not posses, they are still human in the sense that they experience emotions and act out on them. Humans are arrogant. They believe in their ideologies and delude themselves into a state of moral ascendancy above those who do not share their beliefs. They constantly try to tear each other down to rise above the rest. They are selfish. They are dangerous. They hurt each other, even the ones they love most. Ichigo-kun hurt _you._ '

' _Don't_.' it was getting harder for her to speak. 'You know that he didn't mean to. You know that he suffered more than I did. If he knew, if he remembered what he'd done then... I don't want to think about how he'd feel. You know how he is. He cares too much. He won't see that he wasn't at fault. He'll blame himself for...' she trailed off. A daunting detail about her first death suddenly came to the forefront of her brain.

She didn't realize this before.

If Ichigo remembered-

'Does Ichigo remember?'

'Yes.' Jushiro's reply was calm. 'Yes, he does.'

 _He remembers._

'For how long now?' she was shaking. 'Since when did he remember?'

'Just recently.'

'He must hate me.' her heartbeat was despairingly rapid. It was threatening to punch out of her chest at any second. Her skin went numb and her bones might as well have liquified. She didn't feel like she had a body. She felt like she was floating ten paces away from reality. 'He hates me. He has to. He won't forgive me. I don't deserve his forgiveness. I-'

'Kuchiki, are you alright?'

' _I_ hurt _him_.'

'Kuchiki?'

'I didn't know what I was saying at the time. I was delirious. I was dying. I didn't think that I'd ever see him again, so I wanted him to know-'

 _Ichigo, we have a baby. I'm pregnant._

'He remembers that.' she wheezed the words out. Tears were brimming at the rims of her eyes. Her already pale skin was draining from what little colour it boasted. She felt cold, naked. The disconnection she felt from her body earlier was now amplified. She didn't even want to have a body anymore. She wanted to disappear. It seemed as though her soul had already been severed from her tangible self, considering that her features were unchanging. Though her lips contorted as words escaped her, the rest of her face betrayed no emotion. 'He remembers that I was pregnant and that I lost our baby.'

' _He_ killed your child.'

'No.' the tears fell, but her facial expression remained stoic. 'I killed our child, _and_ us. If only I hadn't gone to the battlefield-'

'If only Ichigo-kun hadn't gone to war... If only the Quincies hadn't gotten drunk off of their power. If only humans weren't so impulsive.' Jushiro's tone softened. 'Humans are destructive creatures. The only insurance we have that we are out of reach of their barbarism is that they're weaker than us. Yet, we have to protect them; these creatures who remain babyish all their lives, not ever really knowing what is right from wrong, constantly destroying themselves and each other - we have to protect them. You can't protect them if you, too, are human, Kuchiki. Was it a good experience, being human? Did you enjoy the pain?'

'No.' she bowed her head. 'But it was worth enduring for the happiness that I felt, and that I still feel. Even though it all ended badly, when I remember how in love Ichigo and I were - and how much I _still_ love him - I'm somehow happy. Yes, it's sad... But I'm happy. I'm happy that I found somebody who makes me feel whole.'

'And yet you yourself tried to push him away.' Jushiro coldly reminded her. 'You love him, and yet you tied yourself to another man. Where is the logic in that? Don't you see how being human has ruined you? Had you remained celestial, you wouldn't make such a miscalculation. You wouldn't hurt yourself and others this much.'

'Maybe you're right.' she looked up at him. 'But I still want to be human. I still want to be a shinigami. Because even if I make mistakes, I can still move forward. Even if people change, bonds never break. There's always hope. I want to cling onto that. I want to live with hope.'

'Kuchiki-'

'I don't want to be an angel anymore. I don't want to live without purpose or hope. Even if I live out an existence with limits, I don't mind - because having hope makes me feel limitless.'

'This is about more than your desire to live as you please, subordinate.' an old man, another member of the Council, finally spoke up. He had grown impatient. This conversation was going nowhere. 'This is about protecting the lives of the very humans you seem completely enamoured by.'

'What do you mean?' Rukia bit her lip.

'He's saying...' Jushiro interjected. 'That you _need_ to be pure again, Kuchiki. Your celestial body is necessary to protect the very people you care about.'

'What do you mean, Ukitake-san? Please just tell me.'

'Ywach's corrupt nature still lingers in his corpse. He is unfit to be the lynchpin between the human world and Soul Society. We need to replace his body.'

Rukia shut her eyelids. 'And you want me to...'

'Be that lynchpin.'

 **. . .**

 _'All Quincies came from Heaven.' Ichigo repeated amidst the crackling of his thundering heart. 'What do you mean by that?'_

 _'That isn't a question for me.' Shunsui Kyoraku's eyes hardened defensively._

 _'Then who should I beat the living shit out of?!'_

 _'Well... You and I both know who.'_

'This was a mistake.' Byakuya Kuchiki crossed his arms over his chest. He was tapping his foot impatiently on the ground; a rare sign of anxiety from the notoriously composed noble.

Byakuya and Shunsui were both awaiting Ichigo's return from the Muken. Ichigo demanded to speak with Aizen; a proposal that neither of the senior shinigami opposed. The two older men understood that Ichigo's grudge against Aizen was personal. He wanted to speak to Aizen not only as a warrior, but as a man. Who were Byakuya or Shunsui to get in the way of that confrontation?

However, Byakuya had his concerns.

What if Ichigo learned more truths from Aizen? Was that human brat psychologically prepared for what he was about to hear?

'I should have told him.' Byakuya muttered. 'I should have told him what the Royal Division did to his unborn son.'

'Ya know...' Shunsui tipped his hat downwards. 'It really doesn't matter. He's sure to go insane no matter who tells him.'

 **. . .**

'Well, look who it is.'

'Don't taunt me, Aizen.' Ichigo grit his teeth. 'I'm not in the mood for your games.'

'Games?' the prisoner smirked. 'As much as it pains me to admit it, I have more respect for you than to blame games with you, Kurosaki Ichigo.'

Ichigo clenched his fists. Aizen's face always begged to be punch, but this instance was tempting him a little more than usual. Now, when he looked at this deceptive bastard, it wasn't just the destruction he inflicted on Soul Society and Hueco Mundo that he saw; he saw the future he never had, the fire in Rukia's eyes dying as she fell limp on the bloodied soil. Red smeared on white, and Ichigo's heart was being ripped apart in a thousand directions.

'I like you this way.' Ichigo growled as he walked towards the captive. 'I like you without your wings.'

Aizen's perpetual curl of the lips flattened. Cool-toned brown orbs hardened so that Ichigo felt a shot of adrenaline up his spine. Aizen was glaring at the hybrid like a snake about to pounce on its prey. It infuriated Ichigo, who took any sign of aggression from the ex-captan as an offensive challenge. For the life of him, Ichigo could never understand Aizen's logic. Actually, he detested the man for it. And now, Aizen had the audacity to attempt to intimidate him? Had this man no remorse? At the very least, he should grovel on the ground for what he's done. Where did he get all this arrogance from?

'So you remember.' Aizen proclaimed. 'What a surprise.'

'You're going to tell me everything.' Ichigo fingered the hilt of his zanpakuto. 'You're going to answer all my questions. You're going to tell me the truth.'

'Now why would I do that?'

'Because right now...' amber orbs glossed with a perverse bloodlust. 'I want to hurt you. I want to kill you. I want to slice you up into a million pieces, like you did to my heart. Because when I look at you, I keep seeing Rukia's face. I see how happy she was when she told me that she was pregnant, and how sad she was when Orihime told her that _she_ was pregnant. Or how broken her eyes were when I told her that I moved on from her, even though the truth is that I never can. Maybe I somehow knew, you know? Maybe I kind of remembered. Since Rukia and I couldn't be together before, there was no use trying to be together now. Maybe that's why I was so weak. Maybe that's why I chose Orihime, because she was safe and if she didn't make my heart gallop then she could never have the power to break it. My logic...' he laughed humourlessly. '... was so flawed. Like yours. Maybe you've infected me. You're a disease, you know. The disease that keeps on giving. But you can make it up to me. You can tell me the truth; the cold, hard, unadulterated truth because that's what I deserve. I need to know why it all happened.'

'The truth won't do you any good now.' Aizen spoke slowly. 'But I'll tell you anyway. And afterwards, I'll tell why they won't let you ever have her.'

Ichigo's eyes widened.

'Oh, yes. I know.' Aizen's smirk returned. 'I've anticipated Heaven's every move.'

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you so much to everyone supporting this story!

Thank you to **RukiYuki, Shirayuki992, blissbeat, NieveDrop, Luna-Dara, jobananasan, achalida** , and **Cate-Deriana**!

 **RukiYuki** , you're always welcome! Hugging you back!

 **Shirayuki992,** I agree!

 **jobananasan,** yes I will be bringing in Uryu! The answers to all your other questions will be revealed in time! Bear in mind that Ichika wasn't naturally conceived. Be open to the possibility that Mayuri could have tampered with her creation... I'm very excited about the Hisana-Byakuya reunion. Itching to write it!

Thank you so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	19. Break Away

'Enter.' Jushiro Ukitake addressed the presence behind the closed doors barring entry into the Council room. Upon acknowledging the order, these doors opened to reveal a tranquil-faced Rukia with her arms bound behind her back and a red collar wrapped like a noose around her neck. 'Kuchiki, have you made your decision?'

'Yes.' she spoke with not even the slightest hint of hesitation. 'I have.'

'And what is it that you've decided for yourself?'

'I-'

 **. . .**

'Like hell I'll believe you.' Ichigo's fingers ghosted over the hilt of his zanpakuto.

Aizen tilted his head. He wondered if this hybrid knew just how menacing he appeared right now; subconsciously tracing the handle of his weapon, muscles taut and alert, broad shoulders making him seem all the more taller and stronger. Yet the telltale sign of his bubbling anger was the explosive fire simmering within molten amber.

Ichigo Kurosaki; that name weakened resolves and chattered teeth within Soul Society. Aizen would have to give it to him - the man had certainly constructed his own cult of personality. In the very beginning, there was hope of his organic rhetoric about justice and rightness overturning Soul Society's rigid regulations that were nothing short of oppressive. It would just take a great mind, a great man to change that.

Ichigo Kurosaki could have been that greatness.

But the allure of normalcy was seductively easy.

Ichigo never had the balls to stand up and protect complete strangers on his own. He was frightened and insecure of his own capabilities, Sure, it was a longtime wish of his that perhaps stemmed from his inability to protect his mother from her own untimely death. But being able to see ghosts, touch them, talk to them - that was never enough for him. Despite finally acquiring the power he desperately long for, he wasn't quite so readily accepting of the commitment that came with that strength. When Rukia first demanded that he be her substitute, his stomach somersaulted at the prospect of fighting more of those grotesque mutants. It was only after she reminded him that there were people who needed his protection that his resolve turned diamond-strong.

That, and the fact that she so selflessly put herself in harm's way for his sake.

Aizen predicted that she'd do that. After all, though their memories were banished, their souls resonated with each other. It was only natural for a woman to protect the man she loves, and vice versa. That, coupled with Rukia's strong sense of justice to protect all human souls for the Hollows and Ichigo's sense of duty to repay his saviour, ensured that they would stick to each other.

A few days pass. They get into their disagreements. They're at each other's throats, but he loves how she's so different and she loves that he's the same man he's always been... Why did he feel so familiar to her? The answer was obvious, but Rukia had forgotten who they were. So she attributed the nostalgia of his company to his resemblance to Kaien Shiba.

But Ichigo also made her feel things that Kaien never could.

And unbeknownst to Rukia, she became the axis of Ichigo's world.

Aizen knew that it would be like this.

That spark, that light, that special connection that was impossible to replicate with anyone except one's soulmate; Aizen knew that Ichigo and Rukia would feel that for each other, just as they had in their first lives.

Love was a factor he had not accounted for in his predictions.

But that unexpected twist served his experimentation well.

'You don't have to believe me.' Aizen shrugged. 'Whether or not you believe me does not change the fact that what I say is truth.'

'Anticipating Heaven's move... So you... Why? Why are you trying to mess with Heaven? Aren't you from there?'

'Wouldn't you like to know? Must be so frustrating, to have all these emotions from a life that ended while you try to move on. Tell me, how does it feel? Finally realizing that it was only natural for you and Kuchiki Rukia to be so drawn to each other? Remembering how you loved her?'

'Aizen...' he growled in warning. His blood was boiling, but he was trying his best to keep his head cool. Aizen was baiting him - it was the oldest trick in this bastard's book. Ichigo shouldn't fall for it. If he was going to get any important information about Rukia's whereabouts, he wouldn't take the bait.

'Tell me, does it unsettle you? When you're with Inoue Orihime and you can't help but compare her with your first love?'

Ichigo said nothing.

'It must be hard for you, hmm?' Aizen pressed. 'I remember how much you liked her. You were _so_ depressed when she left you. Is that why you left her? A subconscious need for vengeance?'

Ichigo still refused to address Aizen's taunts.

'If she meant so much to you, I wonder why you didn't pursue her. Perhaps you didn't really love her, but saw her as a means to power?'

'Why did you come between us, Aizen?' he finally responded. Aizen's last question shook him to the bone, but he wasn't about to give in to anger. He had control over his emotions now. He was older, wiser. He could do this.

'Me? I would never.' he grinned with sinisterly set eyes. 'As I recall, it was _you_ who ended her life when she wasn't useful to you anymore.'

Ichigo moved quickly.

In a fraction of a single breath, he had his fingers wrapped tightly around Aizen's neck. He was squeezing, really _squeezing_ \- Aizen recognized that this brat was seriously trying to kill him. At least he was more merciful than a snake, who slowly suffocates his victims. No, Ichigo wanted Aizen dead now. He wanted to kill him _now_. The disempowered shinigami could do nothing to struggle against his assailant, though he did his best to fluctuate his reiatsu as a signal for help. It would still be troublesome for Soul Society if he died.

'You dumbass!' Renji Abarai had just entered the Mugen in time. He dashed to his comrade and wasted no time in tugging at him by the waist, trying to get him off of the Seiretei's most notorious criminal. If Ichigo was at all affected by Renji's interference, he didn't show it. He continued choking Aizen, completely unfazed and unmoved by Renji's efforts. 'You idiot! Get off of him! The fuck are you doing, Ichigo?!'

Having sensed Aizen's shaky reiatsu, Shunsui Kyoraku and Byakuya Kuchiki also arrived on the scene. Shunsui cursed under his breath while Byakuya hurried over to Ichigo so that he could talk the hot-headed man down.

'You fool.' Byakuya scolded into Ichigo's ear as Renji's futile attempts at holding Kazui's father back continued. 'Kurosaki Ichigo, do you not hear me?'

Ichigo merely growled.

Aizen sputtered as dark cackles lodged in his throat. 'H-Have you gone m-mad?' the prisoner challenged his attacker. 'You p-poor... _fool_... So lost in rage t-that you can't even t-talk.'

'He's right.' Byakuya remained calm. He laid a hand on top Ichigo's iron grip. 'Come now, Kurosaki Ichigo. You are above this.'

Ichigo's grip tightened.

Aizen's vision blurred.

If this was the end, he would welcome it - to be destroyed by his most perfect creation.

'Kurosaki Ichigo...' Byakuya's voice was faint.

Renji's own hands flew to Ichigo's neck in the hopes that strangling him would discourage the attack.

'Ichigo.' Byakuya's tone was now stern.

At that, Ichigo grudgingly let go. The sudden movement caused Renji to topple backwards. Both the captain-commander and the noble breathed out in relief.

The five men fell into a deafening silence. Only Ichigo's heavy breathing, his shaking fists, and his furious eyes sparked life amidst the deathly dark of the Mugen. It was almost peaceful; a silent rage that bubbled, Ichigo's companions waiting for the moment he exploded. But until then, they'd stay unmoving under the heavy tension.

Until the devil's echo cut through the thick atmosphere, 'I...' Aizen began, coughing a little to clear his throat. '... had grown tired of Heaven's limits. To think that angels are supposedly the pinnacle of evolution, and yet those same beings serve those who are inferior to them - that was a disgrace. So I longed to push past those boundaries. I wanted to create that which could exceed Heaven's capacity. I wanted to surpass Heaven and then take it for myself. I wanted to be a god.'

'I guess that whole Arrancar shit wasn't your first try.' Ichigo spat. 'What the fuck did Rukia and I have to do with any of that, you bastard?'

'You were... an interesting human. You still are. Much more interesting today, actually. Though even back then, you exhibited superior qualities - a heightened sense of justice, physical strength and resilience, a charisma that people respond well to. I thought that if Rukia had grown attached enough to you, that she would grant you some celestial abilities. But...'

'Well, she never did any of that. She's too smart for your bullshit, Aizen.'

'Mm... Is that what you think?'

Aizen shot the younger man a cunning smirk. Ichigo was confused. He narrowed his eyes and wracked his brains for something, anything, that would give him a clue as to what this maniac was insinuating. Fucking Aizen. Always so cryptic, so-

Then it clicked.

'Ah... A-' _Aizen,_ Ichigo screamed within the walls of his mind. Bruised bags appeared under his eyes and his mouth contorted into an open, silent howl.

 _Aizen!_

'Your _baby_ with her was proof of my success as a scientist.'

Ichigo withdrew his sword.

* * *

'Does it hurt?'

'Just a little.' Rukia admitted to her former captain. She was on her back on a marble slab, tied down by her hands on either side of her head to immobilize her. Though her legs were free, she did not so much as twitch when some hooded figures in silver robes came to inject her with various substances. She didn't question the procedure. She didn't even know what was happening. She just knew that she had to trust in the system that birthed her and that wanted to prevent Ywach's corruption from seeping into innocent worlds.

Jushiro motioned for the robed people to give him and Rukia some privacy. They nodded and evacuated the room.

'Ukitake-san, what's going on?'

'We're giving you a chance.' he whispered with his signature kindness.

'A chance...?'

'Your chance, Ichigo-kun's warning.'

* * *

'I can't fucking believe...' Renji pointed accusingly at Ichigo. 'I just can't fucking believe you! What were you thinking?!'

After withdrawing his sword, Ichigo had wasted no time in cutting at Aizen. The blows were strategically placed so that they would hurt, but not hit any fatal areas. Ichigo didn't want him to die - he wanted him to suffer. But Shunsui didn't permit such a barbaric act to occur under his watch. He, accompanied by Byakuya, subdued Ichigo. The captain and lieutenant of the sixth division forcibly escorted a blood-stained Ichigo out of the Mugen, while Shunsui stayed behind to tend to Aizen's wounds.

'Ichigo!' Renji roared. 'What the fuck?! What's going on?! And you, Captain!' he turned to Byakuya. 'You know something, don't you?! Someone tell me what's going on! I'm your ally, aren't I?! So why am I being treated like disposable shit?!'

'Renji...' Ichigo mumbled. 'Stay out of this.'

'You know fucking what...' the redhead grabbed Ichigo by the collar of his shihakusho. 'You're not my captain, you're not my superior... You don't get to tell me what to do! You're supposed to be my friend! Start acting like-'

A flare of a familiar reiatsu stunned all three men.

Ichigo shook himself free off of Renji's grip. Hopeful, amber eyes were wide as they searched the area for that one person he was hoping to see. Was she really here? He still hadn't seen her, but Renji confirmed his suspicions.

'Rukia...' Renji breathed. Ichigo craned his neck to see her standing right behind him. Before he could say anything, Renji pushed past him to close the distance between himself and his wife. Byakuya chose not to interfere. He watched the scene play out in front of him with wary eyes.

'Rukia.' Renji seized her by the arm, pulling her close to him. Her widened eyes, enlarged from shock, exhibited a fearsome mix of panic and confusion. She didn't understand what was going on. Why was Ichigo covered in blood? Why was Renji so angry with him? Did Ichigo get hurt? Was her Nii-sama upset that she had disappeared for so long? Was Ichigo getting into a fight? Did Ichigo remember her? Was Ichigo angry with her?

 _Ichigo_ , she tried calling out, but the words never left her.

 _That's right. Ukitake-san said that I wouldn't be able to speak._

'Rukia.' Renji repeated, locking her in a tight embrace.

Why was Renji being so possessive of her? She hated it whenever he forced her to him. The feeling of powerlessness when at the mercy of his crushing weight sent her reeling with anxiety.

 _Ichigo!_ she tried again. Her _husband_ (it pained her to think of him that way) was blocking her line of sight.

Renji cupped her face to make her look at him.

 _Wait,_ her lips moved but her silent scream fell on deaf ears, _Wait, Renji,_ **_wait_** -

Then his mouth covered hers.

Her eyes shot open as wide as they could go. Rich irises that were reminiscent of deep, suffering seas glazed over as they stung with a shocking pain that doubled as a paralytic. Her bones froze. She was unable to move. She didn't even feel like she was in her body anymore. Her soul felt as though it were floating ten feet above the scene playing out in her life right now. Only Renji's rough hands cupping her face, his calloused thumbs pressing against her cheeks, brought her grip back to reality.

Renji was kissing her.

She was at Soul Society, not Heaven.

She was kissing Renji.

She was a shinigami, she _had_ to be a shinigami - she couldn't be an angel anymore.

They were kissing.

This was a life that she had chosen for herself. Maybe it wasn't the best life. Maybe it wasn't going to make her feel as strong or powerful or in control as her glory days sitting on one of Heaven's exclusive seats. But it was a path that she had chosen for herself. She was proud of it. Just not-

 _Not like this!_

The sensation of his impatient tongue seeking passion from hers sparked her impulsivity.

She bit down, _hard_. He pulled away from her sharply. A hand came up to wipe his mouth. When he examined it, he saw his fingers smeared with blood.

She hurt him. She rejected him.

She didn't want to kiss him.

'Rukia...?' he breathed disbelievingly. Hoping that their hearts could connect, he shot her as gentle a look as he could muster. Unfortunately, Renji was never good at hiding his emotions - least of all to Rukia. The second their eyes met, his entire fibre of being swelled with a disappointed sadness that he felt was inappropriate for him to feel. Considering that he was her husband, after all.

She looked at him with a terrible mix of emotions. Her eyes were wide open, tears were brimming at her waterline, and her cheeks were tinging pink although the rest of her was alarmingly pale. Her small frame was shivering and he feared that she was going to rattle all her energy away. She was absolutely disheveled. She was overcome with her feelings. Her physical body was unable to cope with the intensity of it all.

The worst part of this was that she wasn't even looking at him.

No, she was looking past him. Her line of sight sidestepped him, looking further.

 _Ichigo,_ she mouthed. Every man present in the room knew whose name parted her lips.

 _Run away,_ she continued.

Ichigo didn't manage to make out her warning. The language he understood was more of the physical kind.

The language of her eyes.

Rukia stood before him, shaking, _shaken_ , like she was about to cry _again_ under his watch.

Her despair was magnetizing. Ichigo hated seeing her like that.

Drawn to her like a moth to a flame, he hurried over to her. He pushed past her husband and reached out to her, as though he thought that was an opportune chance to save her... from what? He didn't know and he didn't care. As long as Rukia wasn't by his side where he was convinced she belonged, so long as she was upset or hurt or in pain, he needed to save her.

 _Ichigo, don't-_

'Yo.' he managed, locking eyes with her, _really_ locking eyes with her after the emotional distance they endured. Though he didn't hug or kiss her, she had never felt more connected with the mortal DNA of her body until now. The warmth of his amber orbs sparked a desire that intensified all the humanity in her. The desire to protect him because she-

She choked on her mute thoughts.

Tears pooling at her waterline were now rolling down her cheeks.

She hated herself at this very moment. She was so undignified.

'It's OK.' he reassured her in barely more than a whisper. Instinctively, his fingers wiped her tears away from her cheeks gently, without hesitation. Unlike Renji's touch, Ichigo's was inviting. She wanted him to touch her more, pull her into his arms and never let her go because she hated leaving him. 'It's OK. Rukia, it's OK.'

 _Ichigo!_ she grabbed onto his shihakusho. Her fists were trembling. Her head was buzzing with a dull pain. She was loosing her balance. She was in danger of toppling over and falling right against her soulmate, but that was a dream that would not come to fruition today.

Her feet no longer felt the ground beneath her.

She wasn't falling.

Heaven was calling her back.

She was floating upwards as a blindingly white circle of light formed beneath her. She knew it wouldn't be long before she disappeared, so she clutched the fabric of Ichigo's clothes tighter - but to no avail. She'd part ways with him soon. She didn't have much time. She had to warn him.

 _Don't come after me,_ she pleaded.

He understood what he couldn't hear, but that he was too stubborn to admit it. That part of him hadn't changed at all. She looked at him with begging eyes, imploring him to just forget about her and move on. This was a battle that he had lost before. This was a battle that had torn them apart a long time ago, before they tore themselves apart from each other ten years back from now. It just wasn't meant to be. That was fine. It hurt, but she didn't care anymore. She cared more about him and his happiness.

 _You're happy now, aren't you? So why-_

 _Don't come after me,_ his clothes were slipping through her increasingly translucent fingers. Not wanting to see her go yet, he tried to grab at her hands. Though his fingers went right through her, he swore for a fraction of a second that he could actually feel her skin. He shivered at the subtle iciness of her touch. He was amazed that he could still feel her despite her fading presence. Then again, he could always feel her. Even if he couldn't see her, even if he didn't want to be so sensitive to her - he could always, _always_ feel her.

 _Don't come after me, Ichigo._

His warm ambers turned scaldingly hot.

Her heart both sang and weeped.

She knew that he wasn't going to listen to her.

* * *

 **A/N** : Thank you to everyone supporting this story!

Thank you to **Clever Bot, RukiYuki, Shirayuki992, achalida, NieveDrop, Cate-Deriana, blissbeat,** and **jobananasan**!

 **Clever Bot** , how clever of you! I hadn't thought of that, but that's one way of looking at it.

 **NieveDrop** , Ukitake won't be a devious character! But because he's representing Heaven as of now, I've sort of demonized him.

 **RukYuki** , you're too sweet! Belated Valentine's to you as well!

 **Shirayuki992** , yes, the Council knew all about Aizen! Your questions about Aizen will be answered as the plot progresses. Ukitake still makes the distinction that Rukia is not a full-fledged angel. So he uses her human name to make that distinction more prominent. Remember that Heaven discriminates against non-pure breeds.

 **jobananasan** , Ukitake was indeed aware of it all. LMAO Aizen the herpes, you're hilarious! I can never unread that! What's unsettling about Ichigo is his indecisiveness. It's hard to write him this way. It's tricky to get to that balance of maturity and immaturity especially considering he's older and has his own family. Aizen will be revealing more later.

Thank you so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	20. Weeping Women

'Okaa-san, where's Otou-san?' Kazui asked of his mother.

Orihime would like to know the answer to that as well.

When she awoke that morning, she turned to her side to give her husband a kiss to start the day. It was their usual routine, and she was never going to tire of it. However, when she reached out for him as her eyelids remained shut, she only managed to palm an empty, cold space on the bedsheets where his sleeping body was supposed to be. Immediately, she jumped up in a panic and searched the entire house for him. She was so caught up in her anxiety that she didn't realize how noisy she was being. Her thundering footsteps roused Kazui, as well as his aunts.

'M-Maybe he went to get some groceries!' Yuzu offered. She was mindful of Kazui's youth as she was of her brother's decades-old tendency to give in to his impulsivity. Knowing Ichigo, he'd tell no one of his whereabouts until he finished whatever he mission he assigned to himself. In the meantime, Yuzu knew that the only way she could be of assistance to her brother was to buffer the emotional strain on her nephew. 'Come on, Kazui. Let's go upstairs. I thought you wanted to finish that puzzle we were working on last night?'

'Sure!' the young boy beamed. Yuzu extended her hand out and Kazui took it. The pair scurried off upstairs, leaving Orihime and Karin alone in the living room.

'Unbelievable.' Karin huffed. She had just taken a shower and was drying her hair with a towel. 'Ichi-nii really hasn't changed at all. Doing whatever he likes...'

Orihime remained silent. She was seated on the couch, staring off into space. Her hands fisted her long skirt, fingers trembling with the effort of holding her emotions in. Though she had just woken up a couple hours ago, there were bags under her eyes and her skin was paling as though she had not slept for centuries.

'Orihime.'

'Eh?' she snapped out of her stupor. 'Sorry. I... I was just thinking...'

'Don't think about it. Ichi-nii will be fine. You know how he gets sometimes.'

'When it's about Rukia.'

Karin pursed her lips and looked away. She knew that was coming. When Ichigo started dating Orihime, the Kurosaki sisters had taken a quick liking to her. The connection was mutual. The three women loved spending time together. And the more time people spent together, the better chance they have of picking up on little quirks here and there that would otherwise be invisible to a stranger.

Although Yuzu was oblivious, Karin noted with fascination that Orihime was jealous of Rukia.

It was in the subtle micro-aggressions. During Rukia's wedding, Orihime was overly affectionate to Ichigo. When Rukia first told Orihime that she was getting married, Orihime said not to tell Ichigo that same evening because he was probably tired or sleeping. When Rukia became pregnant, Orihime voiced over and over to her husband that she too wanted a child.

Orihime's obsession with Rukia was beyond that of a woman who felt like her lover had eyes for someone else. It was almost like Orihime wanted to _be_ Rukia, down to the tiniest detail.

Karin didn't really understand it, nor did she want to get involved.

'Ichi-nii loves you.'

'He loves Rukia too.'

'Yeah. That's OK, you know? I don't know much about their relationship, but from what the old man told me, it may just be gratitude on his part. If it weren't for her, his shinigami abilities may have never come to light.'

'Light, huh?' the older woman inhaled deeply. 'She's his light.'

'That's not what I said.'

'But it's true. Whenever he was upset, Rukia was the only person to get him out of his depression. When he cried because of what Tsukishima-san had done to all of us... He was on his knees, crying, in the rain... When that happened and I thought my own heart was going to burst in sadness, Rukia showed up and took all of his pain away. Suddenly, he wasn't the same man screaming at the ground. He was... He was the Ichigo that I know, the strong man who protects everyone and who I want to protect.'

'Orihime-'

'Rukia did that.'

' _Ichi-nii_ did that. You said so yourself, he's strong. He doesn't need anybody to get back on his feet. Even when we were really young, Ichi-nii did everything to stand up for Yuzu and I. Rukia wasn't there for that, and yet he still protected us.'

'But I think that he's strongest when he's most confident. Rukia gives him that confidence.'

'You clearly don't know him as well as I do. He's always had a big head.'

'No, not like that. A different kind of confidence.' Orihime brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. 'Like he's a king who's found his queen.'

'Like-'

'Like he loves her.'

* * *

'Why did you make me do that?'

Jushiro Ukitake said nothing.

'Ukitake-san...' Rukia repeated, barely able to stand on her own two feet. Her legs were wobbly and the white chamber around her was blindingly dizzying. She steadied herself on a marble slab situated in the middle of the room. No other furniture was present. The absence of any character in her surroundings was depressing. She'd rather be back in her holding cell. At least the steel bars gave it some flair. 'Why did you make me do that?'

'The Council decided to give you a chance to say goodbye.'

'While taking away my ability to speak?' Rukia challenged with a frustrated chuckle. 'Really? You expect me to believe that?'

'Be grateful that Heaven allowed you to see him at all before you assume your new role in this universe.'

'You're exploiting me.' she whispered. 'You knew that Ichigo wasn't going to listen to me. Actually, the truth is that you probably knew that seeing me was only going to encourage him to come after me. And yet, you... Knowing that, you still sent me. You knew what that was going to do.'

'I'm sorry.'

'Where is your heart?!' she raised her voice despite the physical strain. 'Ukitake-san, I was so happy to serve under your captaincy. You were always so kind and good to people. Your philosophy on life gave me the strength to pull away from people I cared about when they needed to fight their own battles. I admired you. I still admire you. The entire division mourns you. So why are you like this now? How do you think your allies would feel, knowing that today, you stand on the opposite end of the battlefield?'

'Those are powerful words you speak. You really have matured.'

'Ukitake-san!' she screamed, but keeled over as her abdomen was pierced with a sharp pain. Her breathing turned heavy and it was a great feat just to take in oxygen without feeling like her lungs were chucking full of ice. Her met gaze met her former superior's, who stood by and did nothing as she was evidently suffering.

'Please don't push yourself.' he spoke in that gentle voice of his. 'You're only going to make things worse for yourself. You need strength for what will become of you.'

'Look at what you're doing to me.' she choked. 'And you won't even let me touch my baby.'

'Would that make things better?' he smiled. 'If you could hold him?'

'Yes.' her hands balled into fists. ' _Yes_.'

'Well, then...' he trailed off as he extended an open palm out. With a burst of light that grew, circled, and expanded, a piece of the previous Soul King appeared as the brightness dissipated. Jushiro nodded in Rukia's direction, and this ambiguous fragment of what was once the original king of the Soul Palace floated over to Rukia, who held it in her palms. 'There he is.'

Rukia began crying.

'When you passed away...' Jushiro started. 'And the Quincies tried to invade Soul Society, the human world and their supposed keepers were at war. Life and death fought for power. Back then, the Gotei 13 were only comprised of murderous thugs who didn't have the foresight to make decisions that could protect the future. So, we made a deal with the shinigami. Yamamoto Genryusai sealed Ywach away using the celestial qualities - that were amplified by Ichigo-kun's pure spirit - of your child's body, while Heaven helped create the Soul Palace. After that, we took your child, which was a hybrid of that which is celestial and that which is not, and used his body as a lynchpin to secure that the living and dead would not intercept each other again. He embodied the best in us, and in the humans, without the corruption that power bestowed upon the Quincies.'

'I love you.' she sobbed to the inanimate object in her hands. 'I love you.'

'He can no longer hear you. Although his cadaver persevered and aged through time, his soul never truly formed.'

'Even so...' she mumbled. 'He's my son. And I love him.'

'Urahara thought that it would be you and Ichigo-kun to defeat the Quincies. He thought perhaps that if you and Ichigo-kun arrived at the Soul Palace together, seen the Soul King _together_ , that your memories would be jogged. And that your celestial abilities would awaken once more to seal Ywach away for another 9,000 years. Maybe then, the surviving Quincies and the shinigami could come to an arrangement. A treaty. But of course, that's not what happened. Ywach died, as did the rest of the Quincies. It was another massacre; a total injustice to the moral doctrine that the shinigami claim they hold dear to them.'

'Why are you doing this?'

'Because the shinigami can no longer be trusted. They are morally questionable creatures, selfish in their actions and too proud to consider that their own system may be faulty. Ichigo-kun could have changed that, but he-'

'Settled for normalcy.' Rukia finished. 'With all the pain surrounding that which isn't normal, can you blame him for wanting to live a peaceful life?'

'No. But you chose that man. You, a celestial being, chose to fall in love with him. We expected more from him.'

'You have no right.'

'We know. That is why we're going to expect more from _you_.'

* * *

'Orihime?'

'Sorry to bother you, Tatsuki-chan!' Orihime grinned. 'I just...'

'I know.' the tomboy sighed. 'Karin-chan told me all about it. Do you wanna come in?'

'Sure.' she took off her shoes and set foot in the apartment.

'I was just making lunch. Did you want something?'

'Anything you make is really good!'

'Alright! Give me a few minutes!' she said before going into the kitchen, leaving Orihime in the dining area.

After a few moments, Orihime tiptoed to Tatsuki's room and began rummaging through the drawers. If she remembered correctly, Tatsuki once mentioned that Shunsui Kyoraku handed her some soul passes to use in the event that Ichigo could no longer return to the world of the living. If Orihime could get her hands on one, she'd be able to come to Ichigo's aid.

She just had to find it.

 _'Don't go.' Kisuke Urahara tipped his hat. 'You'll only make things worse for yourself.'_

The shop owner told her that an hour ago. She actually asked him if he could open up a senkaimon, but he stubbornly refused. Although she was offended, it wasn't like she could force him to allow her into Soul Society.

It didn't matter.

She had to protect Ichigo, one way or another.

* * *

 **A/N:** Thank you to everyone supporting this story!

Thank you to **RukiYuki, Luna-Dara, onlyluna, Cate-Deriana, NieveDrop, shirayukideathberry, achalida,** and **jobananasan**!

 **jobananasan,** I hope this chapter clears up what happened to the baby! Heaven wants to look as if they don't want Ichigo interfering with their plans, so they sent Rukia to him to "warn" him to stay away. You didn't miss anything about Isshin. He'll be more prominent later on. Your questions will be answered in time!

Thanks so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


	21. Stop The Bleeding

'She bit me.' Renji scoffed disbelievingly as his fingers caressed his lower lip. 'I can't believe she bit me. And right after that, she ran right into your arms.' he hissed bitterly at Ichigo, who was standing opposite him with his arms crossed over his chest defensively. Amber eyes glared at the redhead with a challenging arrogance, but Ichigo remained silent. He didn't want to say anything he would regret later. 'Why aren't you saying anything, Ichigo? What does your smart ass have to say about what just happened?'

'Enough, Renji.' Byakuya interjected. 'Have that conversation in private. At this moment, we must discuss how to best proceed in our current situation.'

'No, Captain!' the lieutenant protested before pointing accusingly at the Quincy-shinigami hybrid. 'This bastard better explain what just happened between him and _my_ wife!'

'Abarai-kun...' Shunsui, who was the only man amongst the four present who was seated, rubbed his face. Having witnessed Rukia's unmistakable rejection of Renji, he knew that this outburst was going to happen. Any man would be rightfully scorned after being shunned by his wife, and having that same woman that he loved so much running off into another man's arms with a sparkle in her eye that was hard to miss.

Renji, Byakuya, and Shunsui haven't seen Rukia's face light up like that for a long time. Frankly speaking, Renji was confident that he had stomped her fire out on the day they married each other. He wanted her spark to die out because that flame always brought her back to Ichigo's side. Without that passionate vitality, Renji could rest assured that his wife wouldn't long to be by Ichigo's side.

Rukia was over Ichigo. Nothing had become of them and nothing would ever become of them. The term _soulmates_ was nothing more than a highly romanticized exaggeration of a mediocre friendship between two people of the opposite sex. The "bond" between Ichigo and Rukia was nothing but polite gratitude towards one another, concealed and embellished with longing gazes that meant nothing beneath the surface.

Right?

Leave it up to Ichigo to prove him wrong.

'Well, Ichigo?!' Renji snarled. 'Care to explain what the fuck just happened?!'

'You saw what happened.' Ichigo snapped back, unafraid to meet Renji's aggression with his own. It's not like he did anything wrong. If Renji was going to throw a fit because of his jealousy at a time when everyone should be pooling together to save Rukia... Well, Ichigo wasn't going to entertain that. He was all too ready to smack Renji on the head and demand that the redhead get his shit together.

'Yeah, I did.' the lieutenant was seeing red. 'So are you gonna explain or do I have to beat it out of you?'

'You couldn't beat me if you came at me with a million blades.' Ichigo took a menacing step towards Renji, and Byakuya cleared his throat as though to warn the two idiots not to start anything.

'Don't test me, Ichigo.' Renji chuckled humourlessly. 'I might want to take you up on that bet.'

'You're welcome to do so any fucking time.'

'We can get right into that as soon as you tell me what you've been doing with my wife!'

Ichigo rolled his eyes and raised his hands up in surrender before he allowed them to fall to his sides. 'You know what, Renji? Fine. Think whatever you want about me, but don't you imply that Rukia's that type of woman! She'd never go behind your back!'

'I have faith in my wife - it's _you_ I don't trust! Rukia's self-control is the only thing stopping you two from fucking each other!'

'You know what?' Ichigo's lips tightened a thin line. 'Alright. Say what you want. Let it all out - you obviously have a lot of feelings you need to voice. But if you think you're gonna get a reaction out of me, you're wrong. I'm too much of a man to play into your boyish taunts.'

'Yeah, some big guy you are, lusting over my woman when you have your own!'

'Way to downplay my feelings for her, Renji! As if what I feel for her is just simple, apathetic lust!' Ichigo growled and Shunsui groaned in the background as both Renji and Byakuya's eyes widened to the size of saucers. Flabbergasted, Renji could do nothing but hang his jaw open as Ichigo carried on with his half-intentional confession. 'You know that she means more to me than that! She's not just a body. It's not just about her body! It's her soul, her heart that I-'

'Don't-' Shunsui objected weakly, knowing that if Ichigo continued, it would absolutely break Renji.

'I love her! I love everything about her, I want all of her; her heart, her soul, her body, I love and want it all!' Ichigo fumed.

At those words, Renji's fist met Ichigo's cheek sharply. Shunsui made no effort to stand up, but Byakuya quickly darted behind Renji to subdue his subordinate by grabbing his arms. Renji struggled with all his strength, but Byakuya's grip was stronger than steel. Unable to physically fight with his might, Renji yelled with all the pain that he couldn't express in blows, 'Nice of you to finally admit it, you bastard! So what did you do, huh?! Did you fuck her?! Did you guys have a good laugh behind my back, huh?!'

Ichigo's eyes were dark and downcast. His gaze was glued to the floor and he was glad that his face was stinging from the impact of Renji's knuckles, otherwise he might have never been able to think straight. Renji's accusation brought back memories of Ichigo's first lifetime with Rukia. The shinigami residing in the human world thought about the day she first appeared to him; her hair was short and she had a silvery sheen on her skin. Her wings were huge and he remembered that they frightened him in the beginning.

Where were her wings now? Could she use them to fly back to his side?

'Did you fuck her, Ichigo?!'

'Yeah...' he answered without thinking. The entire room fell silent, but Ichigo was defeated by the thunderous pounding of his heart. He knew what he was about to admit, to reveal - and he didn't give a damn. Now that he recalled _everything_ , he wasn't going to shy away from a destiny that he wanted. From now on, no matter what happened or how insecure he felt, he was going to fight to make Rukia happy.

He knew that she wasn't happy up there. She never was. She was happy down here, by people that understood her, by her family, by her accomplishments as a member of the Gotei 13, by his side-

Ichigo stiffened.

She could never be by his side now. They were both married to different people.

'Ichigo.' Renji's tone was ominous. 'What do you mean by that?'

'I meant, yeah.' the king of the past said louder, more proudly. He finally turned his face to look at Renji dead in the eye. 'I made love to Rukia a long time ago. When I was still myself. Before I was torn away from her.'

Hearing the implication in Ichigo's words, Shunsui perked up. His icy demeanour cracked. Sure, he had read about Ichigo and Rukia's past in the hidden documents, but it was a surreal experience to actually hear it, to see Ichigo's face change as he spoke about the forsaken love between himself and his long lost love.

The passion in Ichigo's gaze was hard to ignore.

Smouldering ambers were almost scalding as they burned with the intensity of a newborn sun, as though he was starting to see his new life as a second chance to be with the woman he had lost a thousand years ago. The Ichigo before Rukia found him again was dull and depressed, a half to a whole that was ripped apart cruelly in the midst of war.

And now, in war once more, would those two souls be able to find each other?

Shunsui hoped so.

'I love Rukia.' Ichigo confessed, and the world started to spin on its axis again. 'I love her more than anything, but I failed her. I've never been with her in this new body, but our souls never separated after we consummated our love the first time. She's your wife, Renji. I can't do anything about that. She chose you. She loves you now. I can't take that away from you, but you can't take away what I have with her either. I love her. She wouldn't betray you. She's not that kind of woman. But I love her still, and I won't ever stop loving her.'

'Consummated your love?' Renji choked, barely fighting off tears. Byakuya let go of his arms. 'What the fuck does that mean? You... Did you-'

Ichigo inhaled deeply.

He had some explaining to do.

'Rukia and I met a long time ago, in our first lifetime.' Ichigo admitted. 'Back then, I was this bigshot king... And Rukia came to me from Heaven, the same Heaven that's taken her now. We fell in love with each other. That was when I... When _we_ made love. We were supposed to have a baby, but...' he trailed off and shut his eyes. 'I couldn't protect her. Worse, I destroyed her. I took what we had and crushed it with my own hands. I don't deserve her, I know that. But at the very least, let me protect her. Because of me, Rukia's suffered. Even though I love her, I've caused her pain. That's why for as long as I live, I'll try to ease her pain just a little. No matter what happens to me, I won't let anything happen to her.'

After concluding his unexpected speech, Ichigo held Renji's gaze with steel-strong resolve. Byakuya studied the young man's eyes and nodded subconsciously in approval - Ichigo was strong again. No longer was he the unexciting, complacent human who aimlessly went about his mundane life. There was fire in him again - the blazing heat of heroes.

He was once more the man Rukia made him.

'Well, after that, we can't just throw you to the sidelines as a spectator! We respect your feelings.' Shunsui stood up and placed a hand on Renji's shoulder, giving him a firm squeeze. 'Right, Abarai-kun?'

Renji hung his head in defeat.

'Abarai-kun?' Shunsui repeated, squeezing harder.'

'... you too.' the redhead mumbled incoherently, and all three men around him leaned in to try and catch what he had said, but to no avail.

'Hey...' Ichigo frowned. 'What did you say?'

'I said, she loves you too.' Renji whispered.

Shellshocked, Ichigo's jaw dropped. Bittersweet emotion coiled around his heart, delivering a dull ache to his chest that reached his eyes. They reddened and watered as his mouth contorted as though he wanted to speak, but no words came out. He couldn't find his voice. He couldn't even look at Renji straight anymore. All his senses took him back to a thousand memories of Rukia; from her soft gaze to her backhanding him when he was being stupid to the sensation of her small body writhing underneath him.

Ichigo's hands clenched into fists at his sides.

Byakuya intervened. 'Kurosaki Ichigo, if it is your intention to go after Rukia, you must find a way to enter Heaven.'

'That...' Shunsui piped up. '... is information Aizen's going to give us! Shall we all pay him a visit?'

* * *

'And... There... We... Go!' Orihime squeaked as the senkaimon dropped her off right where she wanted to be: The Muken. Her chipper attitude in the beginning was lost once she faced forward and realized that absolutely nothing awaited her except darkness.

That, and the prince of darkness himself.

'Oh, Orihime.' Sousuke Aizen smiled, his voice as chilling as a serpent's slither in the pitch black. 'I was expecting you.'

Orihime stiffened and her heartbeat quickened as if she were being chased by a pack of wolves. She was rooted to her spot, but her insides were quaking with anxiety. The nightmarish memories of her days of captivity in Hueco Mundo were still fresh in her mind, impervious to the healing nature of time, and Sousuke's voice was more than enough of a trigger to bring all those horrid thoughts to the surface. Suddenly, she was fifteen again, scared for her life.

Even though she was supposed to have come here with strength.

'E-Expecting me?' she stammered without meaning to.

Sousuke let out a throaty chuckle. 'Why, of course. Kurosaki Ichigo is here, and I knew you'd be hot on his trail like a lost lamb.'

'I'm not a lost lamb! It's not like that. I came here to protect-'

'Him? From what, exactly? I'm sure you have enough common sense in you to comprehend that where he intends to go, you cannot follow nor would he want you to follow. You both have a child together. With you here, who does that child have to rely on? And if by some lapse in judgement, you brought that child here, your husband would be cross with you for bringing his son into the crossfire.'

'I know that.' a lick of insecurity ran up her spine and she shivered at the sensation. 'I know all of that, but still... I have to protect him. He might not understand me now, but I need to be of some use to him. So he doesn't get hurt, so he doesn't lose his way-'

'Lose his way?' Sousuke roared with laughter. 'As though he hasn't lost his way these past ten years?!'

'You're wrong! Ichigo's wanted nothing more than to be normal, to be just another human being with a family! He hates not being normal-'

'Do you buy that? Do you honestly buy that? The same man who was completely torn when he was powerless for seventeen months is the same man who longs for normalcy?'

Orihime covered her ears. 'S-Stop! You're just trying to make me... You just... Don't talk!'

'What's wrong, Orihime? A nice girl like you shouldn't be screaming in such an unsightly manner. I'm sure you scream prettily for Ichigo. It's a shame that you're not the woman he wants to hear those screams from, hmm?'

'Don't say it!' she screeched and the very walls of the Muken shook with her denial. The mental torture of picturing the love of her life with the woman she envied most burned every sentient fibre of her being. Her heart instantaneously broke into a million pieces and her gut hollowed. Shaking legs brought her to her knees and tears flowed uncontrollably from the corners of her eyes. Just like that, as if by magic, Sousuke had completely broken the poor girl down to a crying mess on the floor. He gloated to himself with glee. Even though he was bound by his seal, he noted with pride that he didn't need to move an inch to get his targets to grovel at his feet.

She was just too _easy_.

Orihime wasn't intentionally malicious and although she meant well, she often failed to _do_ well. Her good intentions were often laced with feelings of jealousy and resentment, providing fertile ground for Sousuke to manipulate to his advantage.

'You yell at me as though I'm the source of your worries.' Sousuke sighed. 'When in reality, the reason you're upset is because your husband's heart belongs to someone else.'

'That's not true.' she mumbled. 'He swore, in front of the priest, in front of everyone, that he was going to stay with me until death do us part.'

'Even if he stays with you, that doesn't mean that he loves you.'

'No.' she insisted, her tears falling on her knuckles. 'He loves me. I know he does. He promised. He swore-'

'To his soul, that he'd protect her.'

Orihime choked on nothing.

'That's why...' Sousuke mercilessly continued. 'He's going to where she is, even if it's far, far away from you. Even if he never sees you again, or even if he has to leave everything behind - he's going to where she is, to where you can't ever reach him. Not without my help, anyway.'

Her head snapped up when he said that, and there was a glimmer of something akin to hope in her tearful eyes. 'You can help me?'

'If you help _me_.'

'What...?'

'You see, I use to have the ability to access that place where your husband wants to reach. Furthermore, Orihime, I have so desperately wanted to return to that place for so long. The destruction I caused in Hueco Mundo and in the world of the living was all so I could become powerful enough to return to where I came from. If you help me, I will bring you with me. I won't come back here, I won't cause anyone you know any more harm. I simply want to return home, Orihime, and in exchange, I'll provide you with the opportunity to bring your friend back yourself and satisfy Ichigo's desire to protect her.'

'But how do you intend on doing that tied to that chair?' she asked cautiously. Her eyes studied him for a while, but it didn't take long for her to be starry-eyed with naivety.

'Undo my seal.'

'How do I know you're not lying?'

'You don't. But you don't really have a choice.'

Perhaps it was the urgency of the situation, or maybe it was the adrenaline rushing through her, but Orihime didn't think twice when she rushed over to Sousuke and activated her Rikka on him.

It took all of Sousuke's self-control not to jump for joy then and there. It didn't take a lot of convincing for his poor pawn to buy into his bullshit. He thought that there would be some sort of resistance, but he wasn't complaining. It truly baffled him how selfish human beings could be: For the sake of her grudge, Orihime was willing to set a legendary evil loose.

When she finally managed to get rid of all his seals, he stood up and gave her a wicked grin. She still hadn't realized that she made a mistake. She looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to fulfil a promise that he had no intention of honouring.

'Thank you, Orihime.' his tone was mockingly sweet. 'Now, if you'll excuse me-'

'Aizen!' Ichigo, accompanied by Renji, Byakuya, and Shunsui, growled as he burst into the Muken. Ambers fell to Orihime, and surprise etched Ichigo's handsome features, but his heart quickly galloped into anger. 'Orihime, why are you here?! Why-' his eyes widened, and his brows furrowed so tensely that they might actually stay screwed that way. 'Where's Kazui?! Who's with him?! How-'

'Don't worry!' she beamed at him. 'It'll be alright! I'm going to get Rukia back, then you and I can go home!'

'No!' Ichigo couldn't run to Sousuke quickly enough. The rest of his companions were right behind him, but none were as fast as him. 'I can't believe you'd do this! How could you go behind my back?! Do you know what you've done?!'

'Don't worry, you guys can talk about it.' Sousuke sneered as dark light extended from his back in appendages, twirled, then burst into magnificent wings. 'I think it's time to make my exit.' he smirked and a circle of electric, violet light shone at his feet.

'You're not going anywhere!' Ichigo lunged forward with unexpected speed, grabbed onto one of Sousuke's arms, and was thus subject to the effects of that same light.

'No! Don't-' Sousuke cried out, but it was useless.

He wasn't the only one who was going to be knocking on Heaven's door.

* * *

 **A/N:** Thank you to everyone supporting this story! I'm so sorry that it's taken such a long time. For those of you who follow my other stories, please go on my profile page as I have an important message. For those of you who have already seen it and sent me messages: Thank you. I replied to all of you, but I want to say in this note as well that I appreciate all the warmth and encouragement. I overwhelmed myself and I think the best thing to do is cut my losses and move forward with whole-hearted commitment to the stories that I have honestly thought about, or collaborated on to its meat.

Another reason why updating this story took a while is because I've been dating whether or not to add in any OCs. On one hand, it would allow me to flesh out all the bits and pieces of Heaven as a world, but I also don't want to overcrowd the cast. Bleach has a large enough cast as is. I still haven't come to a decision, but I hope that this will be clearer to me as I write the incoming chapters.

Thank you to **NieveDrop, RukiYuki, shirayukideathberry, achalida, onlyluna, jobananasan, Cate-Deriana, Kidzin,** and the **Guest** reviewers!

Thanks so much, everyone!

Working hard on the next chapter for you guys!


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